


Kairos

by Pumpkinnubbin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, Kid!Fic, Made Up Science, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:00:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 55,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28028181
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pumpkinnubbin/pseuds/Pumpkinnubbin
Summary: When Fury sends Natasha to Hill's place for help, this isn’t what she's expected to find.Cue a mysterious child, one overprotective mother, and Natasha's unwillingness to be roped into things.
Relationships: Maria Hill/Natasha Romanov
Comments: 280
Kudos: 394





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been in the making for essentially a year but has only been properly worked on again starting November 2019. I plan to release weekly uploads for this. I'm very excited about this fic and I hope you'll enjoy it just as much.
> 
> Kairos (Ancient Greek: καιρός)  
> Meaning the right, critical, or opportune moment. It also signifies a proper or opportune time for action.

_"Go to this address. Hill needs some help."_

Natasha hadn't known what to expect from vague instructions like that but what else was new, really. She was used to it coming from Fury. The man liked being mysterious. He never shared more than he had to which was something Natasha could work with. Still, it was an odd request this time, to say the least. It was true that she hadn't seen Hill in a few weeks. She'd been on a mission herself and the Commander just hadn't been anywhere to be found when Natasha was back on base. It wasn't too out of the ordinary either though. Hill was a busy woman and it wasn't uncommon for her to jump from base to base. She'd be up on the Helicarrier for weeks at a time and then move to the Triskelion for the next month. Not to mention the field office she had, though Natasha had no idea where its exact location was. That was need to know only and Natasha definitely did not need to know.

Fury, for one, hadn't seemed concerned at all when he'd given her the order. If anything, Natasha was sure she'd heard a hint of amusement in his voice, and he had just barely held back any more facial expressions that might have given him away. Natasha was intrigued. This was most curious. It also added to her confusion. She had asked, of course, for more information and why it had to be her going. It didn't feel like an emergency in any way. Hill and her weren't exactly close. She wouldn't even go so far as to call them friends.

_"Because nobody else has the damn clearance for this."_

Which really just meant it was her or Barton, and Hill got tired of Clint's mouthiness fairly quickly. It still made no sense to Natasha though. There was no sense of urgency whatsoever so why ask a Level 8 to go? Especially when that Level 8 was _her_. Natasha didn't do well with people.

* * *

Natasha looked up at the building in front of her again. It was a nice-looking apartment complex in D.C., close enough to the Triskelion to get there in a hurry if needed but far away enough that it wouldn't be an immediate housing solution to most agents permanently stationed there. It wasn't fancy, exactly, but it was in a nice neighborhood and looked slightly better maintained than most buildings in the surrounding area. If this was a safe house, it made for some good cover. That, or it needed a deeper cover story than was strictly worth it. Natasha liked to keep things simple herself. The people living here were either the kind to leave their neighbors alone or the type to be friends with the entire building. Natasha had no idea what that was like. She kept her own neighbors far removed from her life. It was just safer that way, for everyone. Then again, she barely spent any time at her own apartment.

She sighed and took the chance of the front door opening to go inside. The man paid her no attention and she was glad for it. She wasn't in the mood to talk about why she was here. She didn't even _know_ why she was here. She had a look around the entrance, spotting some stairs to the right and a lift to the left. She settled on the elevator quickly. If she could avoid taking the stairs, she absolutely would. Stairs weren't safe. She stepped inside the lift and pressed the button for the third floor. The way up only took a few moments and she exited as soon as the doors opened. She roamed the hallway in search of the apartment number that had been scribbled down on the piece of paper Fury had handed her. Hill's apartment. Natasha finally found it near the end of the hallway. She stopped in front of the second to last door, waited a few beats to listen to any sounds coming from inside, and then rang the doorbell.

Maria frowned when the doorbell rang. Nobody ever rang unless it was the door to the building, and even then most people knew better than to ring at hers. Her neighbors always knocked and nobody except Fury (who also knocked) knew she lived here. She put her laptop down on the coffee table and then got up to look through the peephole in her door. She frowned when she saw Romanoff standing on the other side. She really did not want to open the door but pretending not to be home wouldn't work. Maria sighed and opened but didn't bother to fix her displeased expression at seeing the redhead here.

Natasha looked up when the door opened. Hill looked... cozy. She was in sweatpants and a tank top. Considering the relatively warm temperatures, that wasn't too surprising. Natasha didn't try to peek inside but she couldn't help notice some details about the apartment even from here and with Hill blocking most of the view.

"What are you doing here?" Maria asked. "How do you even know about this place?"

Natasha shrugged once and held up the strip of paper with the address between two fingers. Even with the awkward lighting from the hallway Maria could make out Fury's handwriting.

"Dammit."

Maria sighed and checked the hallway before reluctantly letting Natasha in. The redhead took several moments to sweep the room with her eyes now that she was fully able to. It looked, as she'd already gathered from the glimpse she'd caught earlier, a lot homier than her own place. Natasha had expected less comfort and more practicality, much like her own apartment was furnished, but this place was more colorful and more comfortably furnished than she would have otherwise guessed. It felt like a real home, not a safe house. Natasha wasn't sure how she felt about that.

"He said you needed help," she finally said to explain her being here.

Maria snorted ungracefully and Natasha raised an eyebrow at the sound. That was hardly a noise she associated with her. Hill was usually more put together than that. Then again, this wasn't work and Natasha knew most people were more relaxed at their own home. She wasn't one of those people but perhaps Hill was. She didn't get to comment further though because suddenly a loud crash came from the kitchen. Her hand instinctively went to the gun she kept hidden under her shirt, in the back of her pants. Maria caught the movement and glared at her. Natasha paused.

"Don't even _think_ about it."

It was Natasha's turn to frown. She released her gun again and left it tucked away in her pants. Maria gave her a lingering warning look and then headed towards the source of the sound. By the time she was two steps gone, another noise came from the kitchen. It took Natasha a moment to realize that it was someone crying. She had to admit this situation was just getting more and more confusing by the second.

It didn't help that Hill returned with a small child in her arms. The girl couldn't have been older than four, maybe five years old. Natasha kept her surprise and suspicions to herself for now. The girl had her face pressed into Hill's neck, crying until she hiccuped. Natasha couldn't see much of her face. Her small hands grabbed Maria's shirt tightly and Maria rubbed her back soothingly. She whispered to the small child before turning her attention back to Natasha.

"I don't know what Fury was thinking but I don't need any help."

There was some venom in her words but Maria didn't care to mask it and Natasha wasn't bothered by it. She had every reason to be angry. Natasha made no comment on it.

The girl, upon realizing they weren't alone, lifted her head away from Maria's neck to look up at Natasha with big blue eyes. The exact same ones as Maria, Natasha noted. Her hair was the same color as Hill's too. It was like looking at a perfect miniature version of Maria Hill. It was weird, but not the weirdest thing Natasha had ever seen. If she had just found the girl alone, she would have believed it was Hill herself. The girl sniffled a few more times through her remaining hiccups and stared at Natasha. Natasha didn't know what to do with herself.

"No more tears, okay, honey?" Maria said softly.

The girl nodded once and let go of the shirt with one hand. She was still staring at Natasha. She looked back at Maria with wide eyes.

"Hair is hot?" She asked quietly, pointing at Natasha's red hair.

Maria smiled fondly and shook her head. She was about to explain but Natasha took a hesitant step closer to the two of them. She was intrigued by the girl. Maria tightened her hold on the girl when Natasha took another step closer and Natasha chose to ignore the way that stung.

"Do you... want to touch it?"

Clint's kids used to do that a lot at first too. They had been fascinated by the color of her hair. She figured maybe it wasn't too different this time either.

The small child looked between Maria and Natasha hesitantly. She wasn't convinced it was safe. It was kind of cute. Maria huffed a small chuckle and reached out to touch a few strands of Natasha's hair. Natasha froze. It was just for a moment but she hadn't expected Hill to touch her. If Hill noticed, she didn't say anything for which Natasha was grateful.

"It's fine, see?"

The girl reached out after a few more seconds and her small fingers joined Maria's in Natasha's hair. The touch was followed by several giggles and it was like the previous tears were completely forgotten. It made Natasha smile a little. Maria's fingers retreated again and only the girl's remained.

"Soft."

Natasha took a small step back and smiled at the girl. She was really cute. Maybe too cute.

"Hi. I'm Natasha. I work with your mum."

She heard the murmured " _for_ " that passed Hill's lips in a correction of their work relationship but didn't acknowledge it. Maria didn't say anything about the mother part. It wasn't like she could deny it anyway. The resemblance between the two of them was uncanny. There was no question that the girl was Maria's daughter. This particular revelation raised a lot more questions though.

"I'm Nina!" said the girl confidently, pressing her free hand flat against her chest in what was quite possibly the cutest gesture Natasha had ever witnessed.

She had seen Clint's children do plenty of adorable things but Nina had them all beat. That was quite the achievement. She gave Nina a bright grin, one usually reserved only for Clint's kids, and was met with a matching one.

"Honey, why don't you go draw something for Natasha while we have a grown-up talk?" Maria suggested.

Nina nodded eagerly and Maria let her down. The girl ran off to the back of the apartment and into her room. Maria turned back to Natasha and crossed her arms in front of her chest. She was angry. Not at Natasha, exactly. She was only following orders after all. But Fury was high up in the air these days and punching her boss wasn't such a great idea in the first place. Which only left Natasha to let her anger out on. Damn Fury and his need to intervene. Natasha watched her for a few moments and then spoke up before Maria could say anything.

"I didn't know. He just told me to come here to help you."

"What the _fuck_ , Fury," Maria said angrily, biting down on the curse so Nina couldn't hear. Just in case.

"I'm sorry."

Maria let out a slow breath and then shook her head with a dismissive wave of her hand. She may be absolutely livid that Fury hadn't even given her a heads-up, but the man never did anything without a damn good reason. And in any case, this really wasn't Natasha's fault. She appreciated her apology though. Natasha so rarely apologized for anything. Natasha, at least, wasn't likely to spread her secret. It was true that Maria was doing this pretty much on her own with barely anyone to even talk to about but she wanted it that way. She couldn't risk involving people. She made a vague motion with her hand, inviting Natasha to sit down with her.

"Coffee? Tea?" She asked. "Scotch?"

"Just some water is fine, thanks."

Maria nodded absently and went to get them both some water. This was not how she had envisioned her evening to go. She returned with two glasses and handed Natasha hers before joining her on the couch. Natasha wasn't entirely sure how to proceed so she took a sip of her water and gave herself a moment to think. She had no idea how to deal with this.

"How old is she?"

"Four, but if you ask her she'll tell you she's four and a half."

Natasha fell silent again for a little while. This was a lot to take in. Maria Hill had a _daughter_. What the actual hell. How had she not known about this? Hiding a pregnancy wasn't exactly easy. She had so many questions but they weren't even remotely close enough for her to ask any of them. Natasha wasn't afraid of much but she'd learned a long time ago not to mess with Commander Hill. She wasn't interested in trying to figure out how much worse Mama Hill would be.

"Maybe you're his contingency plan," Maria said after another minute of silence.

She put her glass down and rubbed her temple. This whole thing was giving her a headache. Why did Fury decide to do this now? Why Natasha?

"What?"

"He's the only one who knows. If something happens to him, I'm on my own. Maybe he's trying to ensure I won't be."

Natasha frowned. She thought it over. It was certainly possible. She knew from Clint how helpful it was to have Fury behind things like this. He was a huge help in assuring nobody else would ever find out unless directly told. She guessed he'd done the same for Hill. After all, she'd somehow managed to hide an entire pregnancy and maternity leave without anyone noticing anything. Not even Natasha. That part still irked her. She was more observant than that. But even if what Hill was saying was correct, Natasha still didn't understand why he'd picked her. She wouldn't have; especially not for these reasons. Natasha wasn't good with these things. She wasn't good with people and she sure as hell wasn't good with children. Clint's were the sole exception.

"He makes sure this place is safe," Maria continued quietly. "So do I but there's only so much I can do myself. His reach goes a lot farther than mine. It helps. All I can really do here is be friendly with the neighbors and remind myself not to shoot people for being stupid around my daughter."

Natasha didn't say anything right away. She let her eyes roam around the room and linger on the door to Nina's room before she stared into her glass of water.

"How do you do it?" Natasha asked finally. "Clint's got Laura. You... don't seem to have anyone."

Maria looked at her for a long minute, contemplating her answer. She didn't owe Natasha anything. However, she also understood her curiosity and it was true that Clint had his wife to look after their kids when he was at work. Maria was alone. She had never actually met Laura and she had no idea where the Bartons lived either; she only knew that his family existed. She could understand why Natasha asked. Maria's support system was herself and Fury, and some of her neighbors.

"It's complicated. I didn't have anyone at first but now there are the neighbors. They look after her when I can't. They're good people and Nina adores them. I don't have to worry when she's with them."

"They're civilians?"

"Yes, all of them. Thoroughly background checked by myself and Fury both. I'm not letting any agents near her. Fury makes sure none of ours even lives in the vicinity."

"What about her father?"

"That's not a road you want to go down, Romanoff," Maria warned.

Natasha nodded and dropped it. She supposed it didn't matter anyway. Who Nina's father was was ultimately of no consequence and she didn't get the impression that he'd up and left Maria alone with the child either. More importantly, Nina seemed happy from what little she'd seen of her and Maria didn't appear to be struggling too much either. It couldn't be easy to raise her on her own but Maria was certainly up to the task.

Nina came running through the apartment like a small whirlwind ten minutes later. She ran up to Natasha and held out a piece of paper. On it was a colorful drawing of a stick figure with red hair and big eyes that took up most of the space on the paper. There was a poorly drawn couch in the background and a house, almost as if both had been added into the background as an afterthought. There was another small stick figure with Nina's pigtails, and a third one that stood tall in the background. It reached the roof of the house just by being next to it. Natasha figured it was supposed to be Maria and couldn't help a genuine little smile. The whole picture was a big mess and Natasha loved it. It was adorable. Clearly all the effort a four year old could put into making it had gone into it. That was really sweet. Clint's children had drawn her a lot of pictures like this over the years too. She'd kept all of them. Nina looked at her with big eyes, waiting for Natasha to say something.

"This is amazing. Is your mum always as tall as the house?"

Nina nodded enthusiastically and bounced up and down on her spot, excited.

"Mama is the biiiiiiggest person! Nick says she fill out a big room when she go in!" She said with big astonished eyes, and Natasha almost lost it.

That was just too funny, and too cute. Maria rolled her eyes but smiled fondly. Fury came by sometimes to check up on her and bring Nina presents. Despite what Fury was normally like, especially at work, he was a big softie on the inside and he adored Nina. That feeling was very much mutual. Natasha, meanwhile, had a difficult time imagining Fury spending time with any small children. What she could see, however, was Nina roping him into anything she wanted. She was just absolutely adorable.

"She does do that," Natasha grinned. "It's because she's really bossy and everybody has to listen to her."

Maria glared at her sass but smiled when Nina turned to her with a giggle. Nina looked happy. She came over to Maria and hugged her leg.

"Can Tasha come visit us more?"

Natasha hadn't been prepared for that at all and she sat perfectly still, looking down at the drawing that Nina had dropped by her feet. It wasn't a big deal at all but Natasha felt her throat tighten. Maria noticed the shift in Natasha but kept her focus on her daughter. She was just as surprised by the request as Natasha was. Then again, this was just what Nina was like.

"Sure," she said reluctantly.

Nina didn't seem to notice. She squealed and beamed up at Natasha with big blue eyes. Natasha forced a smile back. It was strange. She'd been around Clint's children since they'd been too small to do much of anything by themselves and they grew up knowing her. More importantly, Natasha had had a lot of time to get used to them. Seeing them grow up had kept any potential panic of hers to a bare minimum. She knew these children. They didn't just get close to her in a matter of minutes. Not like Nina, who just really seemed to like her right away. It was a little overwhelming for Natasha. She didn't generally _do_ very well around small children. The friendlier the worse, really. But she couldn't just say no when Nina looked at her like that. How could anyone say no to that smile?

"Sounds fun," Natasha said, easily hiding her discomfort. "But I gotta get going for today. It was awesome to meet you though."

"Awwwwww... okay. You come back soon?"

"Sure. I definitely want to see more of your drawings. They're awesome," she grinned.

That did the trick at least because the momentary flash of sadness on Nina's little face was quickly replaced by another bright smile. Maria watched Natasha carefully. She'd gotten exceptionally good at being able to tell when someone was uncomfortable around her child. The shift in Natasha had been surprisingly sudden. She had been fine before and then not. She wondered what that was about. Maria picked Nina up and calmed her down from her excitement so they could walk Natasha to the door and say bye. Natasha took the drawing with her to avoid any more sadness on Nina's part. She stopped by the door when Nina reached for her sleeve and she smiled at the girl before looking up at Maria.

"Next time, knock five times," Maria said.

Natasha nodded once, waved goodbye to Nina, and then left quickly. She heard the door close behind her and made her way back to the elevator. She could take the stairs. It would be faster than waiting for the painfully slow lift. Or maybe it just felt slow because her heart was beating so damn hard. She stepped into it when it finally arrived and stood in the middle once she pressed the button for the ground floor. She left the lift and then headed out of the building as soon as the lift arrived and the doors opened. She rounded the building to get into the next best alleyway. Natasha's breathing was off and her panic was rising steadily. She hated it. She didn't just panic. She was better than that. She rested her head against the bricks for a few minutes to focus on her breathing and try to calm down. It was just a little girl. Natasha could handle that. She turned to lean more against the wall of the building and covered her face with her hand. She hadn't had a panic attack in so long.

It took a few minutes for her to calm down again. She needed to have a word with Fury. Now that she'd met Nina, she understood why Fury had chosen her over Barton and it had nothing to do with the latter's inability to shut up. In fact, he would be much better suited for this than she was. He already had a family after all. He would keep Hill's secret, same as her. He could help. Clint knew how to act around children; he'd be able to offer some really good advice if Hill ever needed any. But Natasha? Natasha had none of that. On top of that, having a child be so open and friendly with her right off the bat was triggering all kinds of alarms in her brain and her body. It didn't matter that the kid was Hill's. She couldn't do this after all. This panic attack was proof enough of that to Natasha. She shouldn't have agreed to come back. She should stay far away from this whole situation.

Natasha pushed herself off the wall when she was calmer and her brain wasn't going two-hundred miles an hour anymore. She headed back to HQ to catch a ride to the Helicarrier. Fury had made a mistake with this. They needed to talk about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Also, because AO3 is weird with its word count, all chapters are guaranteed to be over 4K words long, despite what the count might say (I'm bothered by this because I genuinely tried to reach that threshold and AO3 is just like "nah, girl").


	2. Chapter 2

Natasha wasted no time at all getting to Fury's office once back aboard the carrier. It was quite late by now but Fury was always working. Natasha didn't actually know whether the man even slept at all. But that meant he would still be in his office which made finding him easy. Natasha was still fuming about what had happened and part of her wondered whether Hill had called him already to share her feelings with him. Natasha entered the office without bothering to knock and she was about to immediately start talking when she noticed another agent in the room. She bit her tongue. She knew better than to bring up anything in front of anyone else. Fury raised a disapproving eyebrow at her but didn't seem to be surprised by her appearance in the slightest. The junior agent in front of him on the other hand looked like he was just about ready to wet himself at the sight of her. That made Natasha smirk. She very much enjoyed scaring the newbies. She didn't care much about her reputation at SHIELD and what the other agents thought of her. She knew why she was here and that she was doing good work. The rest didn't matter. The smirk did nothing to ease the poor agent's nerves and he stuttered throughout the rest of his conversation with Fury.

They finished up while Natasha waited by the door. Fury dismissed the agent and he hurried past Natasha out the door without looking at her. As soon as they were alone and Natasha shut the door behind the agent, she strode forward to take his place. She sat down in the seat opposite Fury and crossed her arms in front of her chest.

"Something you gotta say?" Fury asked.

Natasha huffed, then took a couple of deep breaths. She didn't like being angry; it blurred her focus. Moreover, she didn't like being angry at Fury. He was one of the very few people she genuinely trusted, and she owed him a lot.

"What the hell are you doing?" She asked with a tired sigh. "You should have sent Barton, not me."

"She wouldn't have opened the door for him."

"There was no guarantee she'd open it for me either."

"But she did. Barton isn't the right person for this. You are."

"Dammit, Nick. I can't get involved with her kid. You know Clint's are the exception."

Fury gave her a pointed look at that. She was good with Barton's children, and it wasn't just because Clint trusted her with them. Despite what Natasha thought herself, the few times she'd had interactions with children on missions or even at HQ, she had done more than fine. She was quite good with them, actually. Natasha didn't give herself enough credit in this department as far as Fury was concerned. He knew there was more to it than that, of course, but Natasha would be fine.

"Bullshit," he said easily. "And who says this is about you anyway? Hill needs someone she can trust to talk to or step in if needed. I can't be the only one."

"So send Barton," Natasha repeated without missing a beat.

"I sent you. Deal with it, Romanoff. You can walk away from this if you really want to; I won't stop you. But I trust you, Natasha, and _she_ can trust you. You can pretend today never happened if it makes you feel better. Hill will do the same if you do. But I think we both know that you won't."

Natasha glared at him. He was awful when he wanted to be and not necessarily in a bad way. He knew Nina and he knew how quickly the girl took a liking to people. Sending Natasha there without a heads-up to herself and Hill practically guaranteed they'd meet. That in turn would make sure Nina would want her to come back because she liked new people and was just that sweet. It was smart and she hated it. Natasha was many things but she had no interest in purposefully upsetting a small child. Especially not when that child was Hill's. She wouldn't put it past Hill to let it out on her if she upset her daughter. Natasha really didn't want to go on shitty assignments in shitty places with shitty company. Fury knew exactly what he was doing. It was infuriating.

"I know what you're trying to do and it's not going to work," Natasha said, calmer now. "She's not going to change anything. If Hill wants me back for the kid, I'll do it, but the outcome you're looking for? It's not happening."

Natasha got up again without letting him reply to her face. She only stopped again by the door when she remembered something else.

"I'm not taking your place in this either, Fury. I'm not your replacement."

Fury said nothing so Natasha left, sure steps carrying her out of his office and down the hallway. Fury had sent her because she always underestimated herself when it came to matters that required compassion. He knew she was capable of it, despite the things the Red Room had done to her. He didn't know all the details and he didn't feel the need to either. He knew enough. Maria needed a few more friends too; people she could trust with her secret. He'd never imply she couldn't do it on he own but just because she could didn't mean she had to. A little more help couldn't hurt. Nina was already in good hands but more support could only be a good thing.

* * *

Natasha said nothing to nobody, not even Clint when he asked what was wrong when her punches were just a little bit too vicious the next time they sparred. Her talk with Fury had been five days ago and she'd frequented the gym to blow off steam since. Clint had offered to spar with her when he found her three days later beating on a punching bag. The spar had started normal enough but Natasha was still frustrated. She hadn't spoken to Hill again. Clint continued to push for answers when nothing else seemed to make her feel better. Sometimes she needed to talk about things even if she didn't want to. Clint had gotten the hang of figuring out when Natasha needed what. It was a skill he was insanely proud of. After all, it was quite something to figure out anything about Natasha. Natasha, however, still refused to talk, until the last of her anger finally made her slip up and Clint put her down on the mat. She stayed there for a moment to breathe and calm herself. It wasn't even Clint's fault to begin with. He didn't deserve to be used as a punching bag. She sighed and sat up.

"I met someone," she started. "She reminded me of some stuff I'd rather forget. She's too... trusting, and open, you know?"

"Only you would consider those bad things, Tasha."

Not that he didn't understand. She had shared enough with him for him to get it, even if he couldn't personally relate to any of it. His own childhood may not have been the best, but it had been a hell of a lot better than Natasha's. Natasha had her preference in people, weird as they may be sometimes. He knew that too much trust made her feel uncomfortable and uneasy. He couldn't really blame her. They were in the wrong business for any of that, personal histories aside.

"So what's bothering you so much about this? You don't have to see her again, do you?"

"I don't know. Maybe I do. I said I would if I needed to."

"O-kay... Well, you know you can talk to me if you wanna."

Natasha closed her eyes for a few moments and then nodded before pushing herself up further to stand. Clint was a good friend. He wouldn't ask for any details. It made talking to him really easy.

"I should get going. I still have some paperwork to do, before Coulson kills me for being late again."

That made Natasha smirk and Clint grinned back before leaving the gym again. He always knew how to make things better. She appreciated that. She stayed in the gym herself a little while longer, making good use of one of the treadmills. Running always helped her clear her head. She had done a lot of that these past few days. It was either running or hitting the bag in an attempt to work out her remaining frustrations. Honestly, even now she was still pretty mad about the whole thing. At least running helped. She was starting to feel better the longer she spent on the treadmill. She needed that. Her mind kept wandering to Nina, and Hill, and then Fury. It was weird. She hadn't seen Hill since leaving her place. They should probably talk more eventually. For now, Natasha wasn't quite ready for it yet.

She stopped running another half hour later and went back to work. She had paperwork to finish as well. Her curiosity surrounding Nina's circumstances kept her fairly preoccupied though. It felt like she was missing something important. She had never given Hill's love life much thought before but she had also never seen her with anyone or heard anything about anyone. Hill was married to her work, everyone knew that. It didn't leave a lot of time and space for a relationship. She wouldn't blame Hill for hiding anything if there was or had been something though, considering her job, but Natasha had good instincts and she didn't think there _was_ anyone. There was definitely more to this. Natasha wanted to know even if she had no right to any answers. It didn't help that Nina looked _exactly_ like her mother. It wasn't just that she looked partly like her or that she had some features that were unmistakably Hill; Nina was a perfect split image of her. Natasha rubbed her temples and stopped thinking about it when it started to give her a headache. It wasn't really any of her business anyway. It was just terribly curious.

* * *

Natasha didn't hear anything from Hill for another few days, and neither Fury nor Clint mentioned anything again. That was probably for the better. She was certainly glad for it. She really didn't feel like talking more about it. She was wondering whether she'd actually gotten out of visiting the Hills again when her phone rang. There weren't a lot of people who called her out of the few people who even had her number to begin with. Clint texted her or came to see her in person and Fury preferred asking her to his office if he needed to talk. The caller ID told her it was Hill and she sighed quietly before answering the call. So much to that.

"Romanoff," she answered.

"Hey, this is Hill. Look, I'm sorry to call but Nina won't stop asking about you," Maria said, and Natasha could hear Nina in the background. "Is there any chance you're free to come by one of these days?"

"I can come by tomorrow."

"Sounds good. Come by in the afternoon if you can."

Natasha gave a short affirmative and then hung up again. She wasn't sure how to feel about this. She was okay for now but she also wasn't anywhere near the child. She suspected it wouldn't last long once she was around the girl again. Natasha decided not to focus on that right now. If she did, she'd only make things worse, and she really didn't need that at the moment. She looked at her phone for a few more seconds and then tossed it onto the bed before dropping onto the mattress herself.

* * *

She was at Maria's apartment the next day, just past 4pm. She'd taken the lift up once again after getting into the building. She stood in front of the door for a minute before she finally knocked five times, just like she'd been told to do. She didn't need to wait long for the door to open. She could hear the footsteps approaching from inside and then the door was open and she was facing Hill. Maria didn't even have the chance to welcome Natasha or let her in before Nina came running past her legs and crashing into Natasha's. A lot of giggles followed the impact and then Nina was beaming up at Natasha with big blue eyes. Natasha felt the first waves of panic flood her in an immediate response to the greeting. She pushed them aside and grinned down at the girl, oblivious to Maria watching her closely.

"Wanna let me in?"

Nina grinned and let go of her, only to grab her hand and pull her inside. Maria closed the door behind them, her eyes fixed on Natasha. She could see her unease. That wasn't something she was used to seeing on the redhead.

"We draw? Pleeeaaaase?"

Natasha chuckled and nodded. Nina was adorable. Sadly, that did nothing to calm her. Quite the opposite. At the very least she could hide it though. Natasha was good at that.

"Sure. I did say I want to see more of your art, didn't I?"

Nina smiled brightly and ran into her room to grab all of her drawing supplies. Maria sat down on the couch and watched Natasha in the meantime. She was just standing there, looking a little lost.

"Did you talk to Fury?" Natasha asked eventually.

"Yes. Did you?"

"Yeah. I don't agree with his assessment but if you do need any help some time, I'll be there. If you want me to be."

"Thank you," Maria nodded. "I think it will likely just be more of this though. Nina likes you. You're the first new person she's met in a while. She's going to ask for you more. Might take a while before the novelty of someone new wears off."

Natasha didn't really have anything to say to that but she did nod absently. It wasn't that she didn't want to be here, exactly, but it was difficult for her. She supposed she could always say no, if she really had to. She doubted Hill would hold it against her. She didn't seem like the kind of person who would.

Nina came running back with her arms so full of pencils and papers that some of the supplies fell down on her way over. She dropped everything on top of the small drawing table in the living room and then looked back at the trail of pencils she'd dropped. She went to get all of them and dumped them with the rest of her things. She grabbed her chair next and climbed on it and then looked at Natasha expectantly. Natasha thought she got that from her mother. She sat down on the floor next to Nina and Nina proceeded to inform her of what they'd be drawing. Maria wasn't invited and was flat out told no by her daughter when she asked. Nina's decisive tone made Natasha smirk a little. It was cute, and funny to see anyone telling Hill no. Maria got up with a shrug and left to get everyone something to drink while they started drawing together. They were doing rainbows and flowers, the latter as colorful as possible. They both messed up the colors of the rainbows and their order. Nina was especially fond of using red as often as she could these days. Maria informed Natasha of that when she came back before handing her a glass of water.

"She's obsessed with it since your first visit."

Natasha blinked once and then took a sip from her water to distract herself. That was sweet. She watched Nina color some more. The girl tugged at her shirt to get her attention a minute later and asked her for more pencils. They spent the next half hour drawing and coloring more, and Nina took the time to tell her all about her day; from breakfast all the way to just before Natasha had arrived. She left nothing out. Natasha listened, amused. After work, hearing about cereals and bananas for breakfast was a welcome change of pace. Maria watched them, smiling fondly at her daughter's antics. Natasha took the drawing as a distraction from her rising panic. It was still there, steadily increasing despite Natasha's best efforts to keep it at bay.

It was time for dinner another hour later and Natasha didn't even ask to stay for it. Nina was begging for her to eat with them and as cute as it was, Natasha declined. She'd been here too long already anyway and she needed to breathe. She couldn't do that here. She didn't think she could hide her unease for much longer either. It was time to go. She didn't want Hill to see it, nor Nina, and she would prefer to just get rid of it altogether. She could feel the panic crawl just beneath her skin. This seemed to be her limit for now. It had only been two hours but that had certainly been more than enough for her.

"It's alright, honey. She can always come back another day," Maria said soothingly.

Natasha took the moment of nobody looking at her to take a deep, slow breath and steel herself. Nina was looking upset and Maria was doing her best to cheer her back up.

"Yeah. We'll do this again," Natasha grinned, masking her own discomfort.

Nina looked at her with big, hopeful eyes and Natasha wondered why she kept offering this. She shouldn't. This was a terrible idea. She could already barely handle this situation as it was.

"Promise? Pinky promise?"

Nina held out her little finger and waited for Natasha to link hers in a pinky promise. Natasha could hardly decline that. She did, and once it was done, Maria convinced Nina to go get ready for dinner, leaving the two women another brief moment to talk. Nina wouldn't be long.

"You don't have to do this. I know she's adorable and it's hard to say no to her but you don't need to keep promising to come back."

"It's fine. She's... really sweet."

Maria nodded. Natasha didn't linger for much longer. She was out the door before Nina came back from washing her hands. Perhaps she shouldn't have promised anything after all. She didn't even make it to the elevator before needing to take a minute to breathe. This really was a bad idea, but she'd made up her mind already. Natasha refused to let her panic get the best of her here and she made it all the way down and out of the building, back into that same alleyway she'd stopped in last time. The fresh air helped and she felt a little better just a few minutes later. It was a good thing she had left when she had. At least it wasn't a full-blown panic attack. It might have turned into one had she stayed longer. Natasha grabbed her phone and texted Clint. She needed a proper distraction. Sparring together would be perfect, though she might talk a little more as well. That would fully depend on the spar though. If it was satisfying enough, she might not bring anything up at all.

* * *

Natasha eventually made her way back to HQ and met up with Clint once she was back aboard the Helicarrier. It was late again but Clint was already waiting for her in the gym when she finally got there. He was too good to her. Natasha was still on edge but she wasn't feeling like she'd snap at any given moment. The ride up had helped take off some of the edge.

"Hey."

"Hey. Ready to get your ass kicked again?"

Natasha smirked and Clint laughed. That was better than her being out of it like she had been last time. Clint never liked it when she was like that. They did some stretches and warmed up and then sparred. Natasha wasted no time in going for the offensive. She just wanted to clear her head. Clint pushed back, not allowing himself to be cornered. They were evenly matched when Natasha fought like this and it was perfect that way. Natasha got him onto the mats twice in the next fifteen minutes. He called it quits when his body was feeling a little too sore from her hits, and they went to sit on a bench and catch their breaths. Natasha drank from her water bottle and Clint flung his towel around his shoulders.

"So what's up?"

"I saw her again."

"How did it go?"

Natasha made a bit of a face, trying to collect her thoughts enough to answer that particular question. It had gone well enough, up until the very end. It was confusing.

"It was fine. For a while."

"And then?"

"It was still fine. I just had to leave."

Clint watched her for a few moments, trying to read her expression and body language. She wasn't any more open after a good spar than any other time but she was quite lost in thought this time.

"Alright. Same issue as last time?"

Natasha nodded and pursed her lips. It was complicated and she wasn't actually interested in discussing that particular point further. She wasn't willing to give too much away either. Explaining further could very well lead to that. She wasn't going to spill Hill's secret, not even to Clint.

"She's too nice. It's sweet, but, you know, weird."

Clint smiled and nodded once, and then bumped her shoulder with his. He understood.

"You gonna see her again?"

"I may have promised," Natasha sighed.

"You're bad at making good decisions, Tasha."

She huffed a laugh and shook her head before kicking him lightly. He wasn't wrong, sadly. She should stay away and stop promising to come back. It would be so much better for her. But Nina really was adorable and she was far too curious to not return and hope for answers. She'd like to know more and that meant going back until she could ask those questions. She couldn't tell Clint that though. Clint just grinned at her, oblivious to her train her thought. Her mood now was better and he was glad for it. He didn't ask any more questions and they sat in silence for a little while. Natasha was done talking for now. As she'd hoped, the spar had helped and talking had been surprisingly good. Or not so surprisingly. Clint was good at that. Now all she needed to do was figure out how to go about all of this in the future. She wasn't just magically going to get better around Nina but having to hide her panic every time she was there was tiring as well. There had to be a better way. It had been slightly easier the second time around but that wasn't saying much. She still hadn't lasted more than a couple of hours. Natasha had to learn to adapt.

"Thanks for this," she said eventually.

Clint nodded and they decided to wrap up for the day. Natasha was pretty exhausted at this point. She was hoping for a new mission soon, just so she could focus on something else for a while.


	3. Chapter 3

Natasha got her wish just two days later when Fury called her into his office to discuss a new, sensitive mission. She liked those. They were some of the few missions where she really got to make the most of her skill set. It all depended, of course, but generally, Natasha could use some of the skills that simply weren't necessary for other missions. The change was nice and she enjoyed handling sensitive missions. The time away from Hill and this entire situation would also do her some good. It had been impossible to quieten her thoughts after that second visit. She kept wondering about Nina and she kept wanting to handle her panic better. Just thinking about the girl put her on edge sometimes. The switch in focus was very much needed.

Fury didn't mention Hill at all during the briefing, for which Natasha was grateful. She hadn't quite forgiven him for bringing her into this yet. She was looking forward to the distraction. She flipped through the pages of the file while Fury continued his briefing. She would be infiltrating a science lab that appeared to have ties to AIM. They weren't expecting a lot of resistance within the lab. Still, Natasha would need to be prepared. It was highly likely that there were only scientists in the facility but if they truly had ties to AIM, it was just as likely that the area would be heavily guarded. She didn't have that kind of intel so she wasn't going to take any risks. Her job was to get in, find the information they were after, as well as confirm whether or not they had ties to AIM, and then get out without being seen. It shouldn't be too difficult, nor overly risky. She wouldn't be gone for very long either. The facility was in Canada though so it would take her a few days at least; between getting there, staking out the place, and actually executing her mission. Natasha briefly considered informing Hill, just in case, but quickly pushed the thought aside. For one, it was well possible that she already knew about Natasha's mission, and for two, a couple of visits to Hill's apartment hardly warranted it. They still weren't that close.

Natasha was leaving the next morning so she went back to her quarters once Fury finished briefing her. She took the file with her to read over it again while she had the time. Back in her quarters, she got her bag and checked her weapons, as well as the rest of her gear to make sure everything was in top condition. She double checked all her guns and her bites, happy to see that everything was in working order. Not that that was a surprise. Natasha always made sure everything was fine, both before and after a mission. Faulty gear could get her killed after all. It was a good habit to get into to check as often as possible. Once she was done with her gear, Natasha sat down on her bed to continue re-reading the file. It had all the information about the facility and the surrounding area that SHIELD had collected up to this point. There were a few suspicious individuals on the list of people working there. Those were the reason SHIELD suspected the facility's involvement with AIM. The list was far from complete though. Natasha would need to see what else she could find while there. She texted Clint to let him know she'd be gone for a few days and then made a pit stop by the gym. She still had her whole afternoon left and even though she'd need to be up early, she wasn't planning on just going to bed already. Natasha didn't need much sleep, not even before a mission.

* * *

When Maria returned to work the next day, she brought herself up to speed on what missions were going on and who was on them. She wasn't surprised to see Natasha on one. She recognized most of the names of people who were currently out. Maria prided herself on knowing the people under her command. She met up with Fury in the command center on the carrier and gave him a pointed look when he felt it necessary to mention that Natasha was out. He knew she always checked on new missions first thing upon coming back to work. Everybody knew. It wasn't like she kept it a secret. It was just good work ethic to know who was where. Fury's not so subtle approach was almost enough to make her roll her eyes. She decided to ignore the question he wasn't asking. _How did it go with her?_ She was still mad at him about that, not that she would linger on that while at work. Or at all. It was just a waste of energy to be actively mad. Maria had better things to do with that energy. She just hoped that Nina wouldn’t be too demanding about seeing Natasha again. The mission was scheduled to only take a few days but it could always be more. Things could always go wrong. She doubted that though. Natasha's success rate was one of the highest in the entire agency and it was a rare occurrence for her to return injured. Maria wasn't too worried about that part. She had other business to attend to and focus on though and she had her hands full with work for the whole day.

They got a status update from Natasha in the evening. She had spent the day doing a stakeout of the area and had camped in a tree in the nearby forest to observe the facility. There hadn't been much going on. Barely anyone was coming and going which made Natasha suspect they may have some kind of sleeping quarters available within. Even if they worked all day and night, they'd still need to rest somewhere. She had found a suitable entry point and would infiltrate the facility during the night. She would have liked to spend more time observing since she still had no clue as to what she might find inside as far as security went, but hanging around for too long might just get her caught. She wasn't interested in letting that happen. Besides, if this lab really was linked to AIM, then the sooner she got that information the better.

Maria went home after the update from Natasha and after wrapping up the rest of her paperwork. She couldn’t stay long today. None of her neighbors were available to look after Nina for the entirety of the night so she couldn’t stay aboard the Helicarrier. She had to catch a ride back to the Triskelion and then get home from there. Nina had spent the day with one of the neighbors who worked night shifts. Maria arrived just in time to pick her up before he had to leave.

“Thank you for looking after her.”

He shook his head with a warm smile. Nina was an angel, though she always got a little antsy towards the end of the day. The girl hugged her mother tightly and they went back to their apartment. Maria was terribly lucky to have neighbors she could trust with her daughter.

“Tasha come visit soon?” Nina asked excitedly.

“Natasha isn’t around at the moment. She has some important work stuff to do.”

“When she come back?” Nina continued with big eyes.

Maria picked her up and kissed her cheek. If she kept asking about Natasha, the next few days were going to be very long.

“I don’t know, honey. She might be out for another few days. Think you can wait that long?”

Nina immediately started pouting and gripped Maria’s uniform in her small hands. She didn’t understand why Natasha couldn’t come visit.

“No!”

Maria had expected that. It had been quite some time since Nina had gotten upset over being unable to see someone. She was normally a quiet and calm child who didn’t cry much. The times she got upset always tugged at Maria’s heartstrings all the more as a result. She sighed and hugged her closer. Nina started crying into her neck and all Maria could do was rub her back soothingly and wait it out. She didn’t understand why Nina had gotten so attached to Natasha. The redhead had been the first new person the girl had met in a while but Nina had never gotten like this with anyone else before. She wondered what it was about Natasha that caused this reaction.

“You really like her a lot, huh?”

Nina nodded against her through her tears but didn’t stop crying yet. It would be at least a few more minutes before she’d start calming down again. Maria went to sit on the couch to be more comfortable while she waited. In the end, it took almost ten minutes before Nina’s crying gave way to hiccups and then eventually only some quiet sniffling. Maria moved Nina fully into her lap so she could see her better. She smiled at her and wiped away the last tears still running down her little cheeks.

“Natasha will be back soon, and then we can see about inviting her over, yeah?”

“Why not now?”

“Because right now she’s out of the country. She has something very important things to do for work.”

Nina crunched up her face in concentration. Maria had never told her what she did for a living and Fury had never shared much either. Nina was still too young for that. All Nina knew was that her mother was in charge of a whole lot of people which still didn’t exactly mean much to the girl.

“But she come visit soon?” Nina asked quietly.

“She promised, didn’t she? Natasha keeps her promises.”

“Okay…”

“How about we get you ready for bed and I’ll read you a bedtime story?”

“Nooooo!”

“Think about it. The sooner you sleep, the sooner she’ll be back.”

Nina looked at her, entirely unconvinced by what she was saying. She wanted Natasha to be here now. Maria chuckled quietly at the face she was making. Nina took after her so much, not that that was in any way surprising.

“Okay. Then how about this? We can draw until the big finger on the clock reaches the six, and then you can come sleep in my bed with me.”

That left about half an hour for them to draw together. Nina considered that for a few moments, looking over at the clock to try and read the time and how long she would have to draw. She nodded a couple of times when she deemed it a good enough amount of time and Maria smiled at her. She tucked her hair back behind her ear and then kissed her temple. At least Nina was a fairly agreeable child.

“Come on, let’s go draw.”

Nina nodded again and climbed off of Maria’s lap and down from the couch to run into her room. Maria followed her. The girl had a drawing table there, not to mention her small army of colored pencils. Nina was already grabbing some pieces of paper to draw on when Maria finally caught up with her.

“So what are we drawing today?”

“Tasha like flowers?”

Maria didn’t know what else she had expected. Of course this was going to be about Natasha as well. It seemed everything was lately. She didn’t actually know what the redhead liked at all but if she had to guess, she was fairly certain Natasha would at least pretend to like anything Nina made.

“I’m sure she does. You drew some together last time.”

“Ya,” Nina nodded confidently. “Tasha pretty like flowers.”

Maria couldn’t quite help the small chuckle that escaped her. Natasha was more like a rose than anything else; pretty but not without thorns. Nina started drawing already, finding all the red and green pencils she could find to draw some flowers for Natasha. Maria helped her draw for a few minutes but then just sat back and let Nina draw by herself. She liked watching her. Nina’s little face of concentration when drawing was terribly adorable and it was a great way to forget about her stressful work life. Maria let her draw for a few minutes longer than what she’d initially said. It was an exception. Nina proudly presented all of her drawings to Maria when she was told that time was up.

“I’m sure she’ll love them,” Maria smiled.

Nina beamed at her. Maria helped her clean up and then get ready for bed. Before she could do much more, Nina ran off into Maria’s bedroom and climbed her way into her bed. She sat down right in the middle of it and waited. Maria still had to get ready for bed herself and even though it was far too early for her to sleep, she was looking forward to the inevitable snuggles that would follow. She didn’t let Nina sleep in her bed often anymore but when she did, Nina was a tiny koala who would not let go of her during the night. Maria loved those nights. It made it all worth it, always. Maria went to the bathroom first and then got changed. Nina shuffled over as soon as she came into the room and once Maria had settled under the blanket, Nina came to cuddle against her. Maria wrapped her arms around her and let her rest on top of her.

“Do you know what you want to do when Natasha comes to visit?”

“Draw lots!”

“Can I draw with you too?”

Nina lifted her head to look at her and then reached out to pat her cheek, giggling.

“Ya! We all draw.”

Maria chuckled and kissed her fingers. Nina was so cute. At least she had calmed down a little again. Maria would need to talk to Natasha whenever she came back from her mission. She hadn’t seen this turn of event happening.

“I’d like that.”

“I love you lots, mama.”

“I love you too, honey.”

Nina smiled, apparently content, and rested her head back on Maria’s chest. Crying so much earlier had exhausted her and she was tired. She fell asleep just a few minutes later. Maria stayed up longer to watch over her. She ran her fingers through Nina’s hair until she fell asleep herself.

* * *

Natasha returned from her mission four days later. It had gone well enough and there hadn’t been any complications. She had found what she’d been looking for, including confirmation that the facility did indeed have ties to AIM. Natasha still had to go through with her debriefing and writing her report later. Fury was already waiting for her in his office when she got back. He was happy with how her mission had gone. The intel she’d gathered was highly valuable and would help them deal another blow to AIM. The debrief took almost an hour. Fury had a lot of questions regarding some of the things she’d found and seen while in the lab. She had snatched a couple of files that would be of interest to the scientists at SHIELD. Natasha had only been able to really identify a few things concerning their experiments. This wasn’t her area of expertise. She would go over everything again in her report but the more she could tell Fury now, the better.

Fury dismissed her when he was done asking his questions. She skipped her scheduled stop by the medbay in favor of going straight back to her quarters. She was tired and she needed a shower. She got into her room and immediately went to the attached bathroom to start her shower. Crawling in ventilation shafts ended up quite smelly. She felt gross. Natasha stripped out of her field suit and got under the water. It was warm enough but more importantly, the water pressure was heavenly. She spent a little longer than usual under the stream, relaxing slowly. This was a good way to unwind after a mission. She washed her hair and then rinsed off before stopping the water and stepping out of the shower. She dried herself off with a towel, got dressed in some sweatpants and a tank top, and then grabbed another towel to dry her hair.

There was a knock on her door two minutes later and Natasha threw the towel onto her bed before going to answer it. She hadn’t expected to see Hill, though maybe she should have.

“Can I come in?”

Natasha took a step aside to let her in. If Hill was here then she probably wanted to talk about Nina; something they couldn’t do in the hallway of the Helicarrier. Maria came into her quarters and went to stand by her desk. Their quarters were pretty much identical so she didn’t bother having a look around. The smell of whatever Natasha used for her shower was still filling the room.

“You missed your medical check up,” Maria said once the door was closed.

Natasha walked past her to sit on the bed and raised an eyebrow. She always skipped medical unless she actually needed it. Fury knew it, the staff in the medbay knew it, everybody knew it.

“That’s not why you’re here though.”

“No, it isn’t,” Maria agreed. “Nina has been missing you. A lot.”

Natasha had expected that. She sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. She’d just come back. She’d hoped for a little more time. The time away had helped quite a bit in distracting her from all this. She wondered whether she could get away with not going to visit quite yet. Probably not.

“When do you need me to come over?” Natasha asked.

“Whenever you’re up for it. Nina can wait a little longer but she’s been asking for you every single day this week. I’m starting to think she has a crush on you.”

Natasha blinked at that, completely taken aback. She had no idea what to even do with that. Maria had said it somewhat jokingly but Nina really had not stopped talking about Natasha even once these past few days. It felt more and more like a possibility.

“Sounds like she _can’t_ wait,” Natasha finally said.

Maria chuckled softly. That was true. She had held her over by telling her Natasha would be back soon but Nina was getting more impatient by the day. Maria didn’t want to guilt trip Natasha into visiting though. Natasha smiled a little at the chuckle. Hill didn’t do that often enough while at work. It was nice.

“Not exactly, no. I’m sorry. She really likes you.”

“It’s cute.”

“She is very cute and she has plans to draw with you whenever you come back to visit.”

“Give me a day.”

Maria nodded, smiling faintly. She appreciated that. Natasha had promised to come back and if Nina really missed her that much, it would be better not to make her wait too much longer. But Natasha needed time to prepare herself before spending more time with the girl again. She wasn’t going to mention that to Hill though. Hopefully this time would be less bad again. She didn’t think she’d be up for many hours with Nina yet but maybe she could handle a little longer than the previous time. Especially now that she’d had some time away.

“Alright. Nina will be happy to have a day to look forward to.”

Natasha was about to ask whether the girl was being a handful but decided against it. They weren’t close enough to ask and in any case, Natasha wasn’t even sure she wanted to start that conversation. It seemed she’d left more of an impression on Nina than she had thought. Maria nodded to herself and headed back towards the door. She had only come here to ask Natasha to visit again. Before Maria could leave, however, Natasha got up again and took a few steps closer.

“Hey,” she started hesitantly. “Clint’s kids like it when I bring them stuff when I visit...”

Maria paused and smiled at her. Natasha didn’t need to finish that thought. It was sweet though and Maria appreciated the unspoken offer. Seeing Natasha so hesitant was actually kind of endearing.

“Nina will be happy just seeing you.”

Natasha nodded and Maria left again. At least now she had something to tell Nina. Natasha shut the door behind her and ran a hand down her face. She was so not ready for this.

* * *

They had agreed on a time in the afternoon two days later. Natasha had needed some more time to finish writing her report and Maria had also been busy with work. Nina hadn’t stopped bouncing around the apartment since Maria had told her Natasha was finally back and coming to visit. They’d have a few hours to spend with Natasha before it’d be time for dinner. Maria wasn’t going to even ask Natasha to stay for it. She was well aware something about this situation was difficult for the redhead. It was enough that she came by at all.

When Natasha knocked on the door to Maria’s apartment, she could hear squealing coming from inside. She smiled a little. That was actually pretty damn adorable. She mentally prepared herself for the incoming whirlwind. The door opened a few moments later and Nina came running right at her. She collided with her legs and beamed up at her. Natasha grinned down at her. She was definitely not prepared enough but she was here now so all she could do was suck it up and deal with it. Maria appeared a second later, looking apologetic.

“Nina, honey, how about you actually let her in first?”

“Okay!”

Nina let go of Natasha again so she could get inside the apartment. Maria closed the door behind them. Natasha sat down on the couch and Nina climbed onto it next to her, still giddy. Her excitement was really cute and Natasha couldn’t help but genuinely smile at her. She could feel her panic starting to rise already, stronger than last time, but she pushed it down. Nina was just a kid. Hill’s kid. It was fine.

“I get the feeling someone missed me,” Natasha mused.

“Me!” Nina said loudly.

“Nina. Indoor voices, honey,” Maria said gently.

Natasha looked up at her when she did. She hadn’t seen much of this side of Hill yet but there was such a steep difference between Commander Hill and Mama Hill that it almost gave Natasha whiplash. It wasn’t that Hill wasn’t gentle at work; quite the opposite, but it was a different kind of gentleness. This was a side of her nobody except Fury got to see. It was strange.

“Okay,” Nina whispered before breaking out into giggles.

“Don’t you have something to show Natasha?” Maria asked.

Nina’s eyes widened and she nodded excitedly. She had forgotten. She climbed down from the couch and ran off into her room to retrieve the drawings she’d made with Maria days ago, as well as the ones she’d made on her own later. Natasha took the small break to try and relax. Maria watched her closely. Nina came back a minute later with a stack of papers. She gave all of them to Natasha and then looked up at her mother. Maria chuckled warmly and picked her up. She sat down next to Natasha with Nina in her arms. Nina snuggled into her and they both watched as Natasha looked at all of the drawings. They were mostly flowers, flowers, and more flowers. There was one drawing that had a stick figure in it, as well as a rainbow and more flowers. Maria had helped Nina with that one.

“She still likes using red a lot, huh?”

“I think it’s because of your hair,” Maria replied.

Nina giggled again, looking at Natasha with bright eyes. Natasha was once again reminded of just how alike the two Hills looked when they were this close together. She really was curious about this but she knew she’d need to wait longer to ask about it. It didn’t matter anyway.

“Hair is pretty,” Nina said, ripping Natasha out of her thoughts.

She smiled at the girl and thanked her before asking about the drawings she was holding. Nina was happy to go into detail about what she’d drawn and why she’d drawn it. It was terribly endearing. Natasha was rather oblivious to the way Maria was watching her, too focused on what the girl was saying.

“There are a lot of flowers here. Do you like flowers?”

“Is ‘cause you is pretty like flowers,” Nina replied like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Maria had to bite back a laugh at the look on Natasha’s face. It was quite obvious that she didn’t know what to do with things like this and it was kind of cute. Considering Natasha was a master spy and assassin, seeing her speechless was something else entirely.

“Oh. Well, thank you.”

“We can draw more? Please?”

It was impossible to say no when Nina made that face. Natasha wondered whether Hill had been like that too as a child. She couldn’t picture it.

“Wonder where she gets that from,” Natasha mumbled with a pointed look at Maria before turning her attention back to Nina. “How could I possibly say no when you’re asking so nicely?”

Nina beamed at her and looked up at her mother for confirmation. Maria nodded and put her down in front of the couch so she could go grab everything. Nina liked drawing in the living room when there were people over.

“She seems like a handful.”

Maria shook her head briefly. It was just the excitement that had Nina so full of energy. She was much calmer otherwise. It was nice to see her like this more often though. At least as long as Nina could still be reasoned with. Maria felt rather lucky in that regard. She knew some children just acted out without being willing to listen to their parents or calm down when asked to.

“Not at all. That’s just you being here.”

“Not even Clint’s kids are this excited to see me.”

“You’ll get used to it.”

Maria didn’t miss the way Natasha tensed up momentarily. She was right then. There was something that made the redhead uncomfortable about all of this. She would ask about it some time, but not today. There was a lot to Natasha Romanoff that she didn’t know. This was just another thing on that list. One that could wait. Nina came running back a few moments later, her arms once again full of drawing supplies. Maria got up to help her get them all onto the dining table. If all three of them were going to draw, they would need more space than the coffee table offered. Natasha got up to join them, sitting down on the chair next to Nina’s when the girl insisted upon it. Maria took a seat opposite them.

“What are we drawing?” Natasha asked.

Nina didn’t look like she knew what exactly she wanted to do but she shrugged and grabbed a handful of random colored pencils. Natasha chuckled. She looked so petulant. Natasha took a few pencils herself, as did Maria. Nina started drawing more flowers again, much to their amusement. Natasha drew onto a corner of Nina’s paper and grinned at her when she looked up at her. That made Nina giggle. Maria smiled at the sight. It was strange to see Natasha like this. She would never see this side of her at work.

“What is you drawing, Tasha?”

“I don’t know yet.”

“I wanna draw mama.”

Natasha made a small, nonchalant sound of affirmation to that. Maria smiled when Nina beamed at her. This would be an adventure. Nina started drawing on a new piece of paper. She drew a stick figure and then focused all of her attention on drawing a face. Natasha started with the face on her own blank paper. She wasn’t much of an artist herself. Nina gasped loudly when Natasha grabbed the blue to color in the eyes.

“Oooh, mama is pretty,” Nina exclaimed, putting her hand down on Natasha’s drawing.

Natasha chuckled quietly. That reaction was very cute. Nina patted the paper a few times and squealed.

“Look, mama! You is so pretty!”

Maria smiled softly. She reached across the table to tuck a strand of hair behind Nina’s ear. Nina beamed at her. She was happy. She shuffled in her seat and then grinned up at Natasha too. Natasha returned it and winked at her which made Nina giggle again. She went back to drawing after that. Both Maria and Natasha paused their own activities to watch her. Maria hadn’t drawn a whole lot herself. She’d just made some scribbles on her own paper. She was much more interested in watching Nina, as well as Natasha’s interactions with her.

They spent another hour drawing, though it was mostly only Nina who was still drawing at all. Maria and Natasha had spent a little time chatting. They avoided talking about work and just spoke about random things instead. Not being the focus of Nina’s attention, nor focusing on the girl, actually helped Natasha keep her panic down. It was still there but she didn’t feel the need to bolt, even after almost two hours of having been here. Nina was so focused on drawing that she wasn’t paying much attention. Eventually, she stopped drawing to tug at Natasha’s shirt. Natasha looked at her just in time to catch Nina yawning. It was almost time for dinner.

“Tired?”

“You stay?”

“I’m sorry but I can’t.”

Nina’s face fell at her words. She was too tired and worn out from all the excitement of the last day, and hours. Maria sighed and got up before Nina could start crying. The tears were going to come either way. Maria picked her up and let her grab her shirt tightly. Natasha felt a little bad but if she stayed any longer, she wouldn’t be able to handle her own panic anymore. She couldn’t.

“It’s okay, honey,” Maria said gently.

Nina started crying, hiding her face in Maria’s neck. Maria rubbed her back and kissed her cheek. She caught Natasha’s gaze and nodded towards the door.

“Go before she starts calming down. It’ll only be harder the second time around.”

Natasha hesitated for a moment before nodding. She got up and grabbed her things. She did say bye to Nina, even if the girl was crying too much to really notice. Natasha left and Maria sat down on the couch with Nina still in her arms. She’d calm down eventually, and Maria didn’t mind waiting it out. It always broke her heart to see her cry so much but there wasn’t much she could do about it.


	4. Chapter 4

It had been almost two weeks since Natasha's last visit to Hill's apartment. She was still surprised by how well she'd been able to handle her panic. Despite the urge to hide away in the alleyway once again, she hadn't needed to. She had felt the edge of her panic underneath her skin but it hadn't been so bad that she'd needed a few minutes just to calm her heart and catch her breath. She had been okay. She hadn't even hit the gym the moment she'd come back to the carrier, nor had she felt the need to talk to Clint. They'd still sparred, just a few days ago, but Natasha hadn't been all over the place with her thoughts and feelings, and so the spar had been like any other. That was good, if a little surprising. She didn't feel up for more immediately but Hill hadn't spoken to her about coming back again so it wasn't constantly on her mind either. She wasn't looking forward to another visit exactly but she wasn't dreading going back either. And she would go back, that much was obvious by how much Nina liked her. She wouldn't be able to just stay away. After all, it was kind of nice to spend time with her. It was also quite nice to see another side of Hill. Natasha was watching her a little more closely at work these days. It was impressive how different Hill was here. Not only that but even knowing the woman went home to a small child every day, she would never be able to tell just by observing her. It was a secret well kept, and now Natasha was one of its keepers as well. She didn't mind. In fact, it was kind of important to her that she was allowed to know about Nina at all. Sure, it had been Fury's idea to send her over, but Hill hadn't needed to open that door. She had, knowing it would reveal her secret. It wasn't like she could hide that Nina was her daughter. That was literally impossible. So Natasha appreciated being trusted with that. She still didn't think it would help but she didn't mind doing something for the two Hills rather than herself.

Natasha was hitting the gym late at night when Maria entered it. She hadn't been able to go home today; there was just too much work to be done. Nina was staying with a neighbor for the night. The gym was empty at this hour so Maria went straight to where Natasha was pummeling a punching bag. Her jabs were precise and strong enough to make the bag move with each hit. Maria went to steady it without a word. She knew Natasha had heard her coming even though her focus was fully on her workout. Natasha didn't even pause her assault on the bag but she rolled her shoulders briefly, giving Maria time to properly hold the bag before hitting it again. Maria had to adjust her stance to not move too much herself. Natasha may be small but she was a hell of a lot stronger than she looked. They continued in silence for a few minutes, Natasha's small huffs of breath and her fists hitting the bag the only sounds in the gym. She took a break five minutes later and Maria let go of the bag again. She went to grab the towel lying on a nearby bench and tossed it to Natasha. Natasha caught it and used it to wipe the sweat off her face. She walked over to the bench just as Maria sat down on it. Her water bottle was there so she sat with Hill and took a sip of water. She wasn't too exhausted yet but she'd been here for some time already and she needed a break. Just because she could do this for hours didn't mean she should. Natasha knew her limits better than anyone and as much as she liked pushing them, especially after a rough day, she knew better than to overdo it. With the gym this empty, they would at least be able to talk without anyone overhearing anything sensitive.

"What brings you here?" Natasha asked, glancing at Hill.

"Take a guess."

Natasha had expected that. These days it seemed more likely that Hill would find her for personal reasons over anything work related. She wasn't quite sure how she felt about that yet. Work was so much easier to handle. There was no fine line to walk here, at least not anymore. They hadn't always seen eye to eye after all, and Natasha had caused quite a bit of grief in her early days working at SHIELD. That wasn't so much an issue anymore now. Maria had gotten used to it and part of her was glad for it even. Natasha's way of doing things was often outside of how most agents would even think to approach a situation, which made her a valuable asset. Maria, as a stickler for rules, had needed that shift to expand her own horizons. She'd learned quite a bit from Natasha's exploits and missions.

"When?"

"Are you free this weekend?"

It was currently Thursday and outside of writing a few reports, Natasha had nothing important coming up. She should be fine to have some free time to spend during the weekend. Not to mention that it was actually possible for Hill to just make that happen. One word to Fury about Nina and he wouldn't even raise an eyebrow. That, and Natasha never took any time off for herself so even if she just asked for an afternoon off the carrier, she doubted it would pose much of a problem.

"I should be."

"Then meet me at the Triskelion on Saturday, at noon."

Natasha frowned a little. They'd never met up before. It had always been her coming to Hill's apartment. It was easy that way. She shrugged and nodded, not asking any questions. They could wait.

"And maybe wear something you don't mind getting dirty."

Or maybe the questions couldn't wait because now Natasha was curious. She raised an eyebrow at her and grinned a little. Maria rolled her eyes but she was smiling too.

"We're going out. Knowing her, she's going to drag you to play with her so come prepared."

Natasha tensed for just a moment at the prospect of being the center of the girl's attention again. It had been brief and was gone as quickly as it had come but Maria had still noticed it. She was good at this after all, no matter how skilled Natasha was at hiding things.

"Okay."

Maria nodded and got up again. She had no reason to linger, though she still hesitated to just leave. This wasn't the first time Natasha had reacted like that. She didn't want her to do things she wasn't comfortable with. That counted for work as much as it counted for anything else.

"You don't have to come, you know?"

Natasha dragged the towel over her face again to give herself something to do. She dropped it into her lap afterwards. It was a little irritating that Hill had noticed her immediate reaction but she hadn't actually expected anything less. The out was nice. She wouldn't take it but it was a kind offer all the same. Nina wouldn't take to it too well if she did take it. Natasha was sure she'd get over it eventually but she didn't enjoy upsetting the small girl. She wondered briefly whether that was all there was to it but now wasn't the time to linger on that particular train of thought.

"I'll be there."

"I know. That's not what I was saying."

"I know," Natasha replied, looking up at her.

The thank you that was on the tip of her tongue remained unsaid but Maria looked like she'd heard it anyway. She nodded once again and then finally turned to leave, leaving Natasha alone on the bench. Natasha watched her go. Saturday. She had a full day to mentally prepare herself then, plus another half day before meeting with Hill. She could do that. She glanced at the punching bag, contemplating continuing her workout. She opted not to do that and grabbed her things before heading to the locker rooms to shower and change.

* * *

Maria was already waiting for her on Saturday. She was in the lobby of the Triskelion when Natasha came in. She'd only been waiting for a few minutes. She'd just finished the last of her paperwork and had almost run late. She spotted Natasha before the redhead noticed her and watched her for a couple of seconds. Natasha was different here than she was when they were at Maria's apartment. That made sense, she supposed. This was work. She'd gathered from the few things Natasha had mentioned that the redhead was a different person when she was with people she trusted; namely the Bartons. She wondered whether Natasha was starting to be like that around her and Nina as well. She wasn't relaxed by any means but she was certainly different than she was at work. Natasha finally saw her and walked up to her. She'd dressed in some old jeans she didn't much care about and a simple shirt. She wasn't too attached to most of her clothes but she did have favorites and not enough time to do laundry often.

"Hey."

"Ready to go?"

Natasha nodded and let Hill lead the way to the garage. She'd come straight from the Helicarrier and while she did have a bike here, it'd be easier to just let Hill drive. She was still curious where they were going but didn't ask. She'd find out soon enough. They reached Maria's car and Natasha went to sit in the passenger seat to let Hill drive. It was her car after all. That, and Natasha had no idea where they were headed. Maria drove them back to her apartment. Natasha fiddled with the radio on the way, partly to see what Hill would do and partly because the silence put her on edge. Maria didn’t mind. When they finally arrived at the apartment building and Maria had stopped the car, Natasha got out to stare up at it. She'd been here a handful of times now. It was starting to look a little too familiar for her liking. Maria stepped up next to her and waited.

"We're just picking her up, but I figured she might like the surprise."

"Oh."

Maria chuckled softly and gave her a smile. She got the front door open and waited for Natasha to get in before doing the same. They took the elevator up to the third floor in silence. Natasha felt the first signs of panic rising already but she ignored them. It was fine. She was fine. Maria stopped her when they reached the door to her apartment and indicated for her to stay quiet. Natasha nodded in understanding. Maria got out her keys and unlocked the door. One of her neighbors was with Nina right now since Maria hadn't wanted to leave her alone all morning. She thanked the old lady for keeping Nina company before turning her attention to Nina when the girl waved goodbye to their neighbor. The old woman passed Natasha when she exited the apartment. They exchanged a quick greeting before she went back to her own apartment. Natasha could hear Nina's excitement at seeing her mother even from the hallway.

"I have a surprise for you today," Maria told Nina. "Let's get you dressed so you can see it."

Nina's eyes widened at the prospect of a surprise and she nodded eagerly. She didn't run off this time and instead let Maria lead her into her room to pick out some clothes to wear. They picked together and Maria helped her get changed into her outdoor clothes. They could all get dirty for all Maria cared but she preferred letting Nina have a few things that were exclusively meant for playing in. Nina was bouncing once she was dressed, excited about her surprise.

"We go play?"

"We are," Maria smiled. "Find your hat and I'll wait for you in the living room, okay?"

Nina giggled and ran to rummage through her closet in search of her favorite hat. Maria went back to the living room and crossed it to let Natasha inside.

"She'll be out any second now."

Maria had barely finished her sentence when a loud gasp came from behind them, followed by an even louder squeal. Natasha wasn't sure what to make of Hill's expression but she chose not to think about it too hard and look past her to grin at Nina, who was standing by her door with the biggest eyes and her hat in her hand. She rushed over to Natasha and lifted both her arms up. Natasha froze for just a moment. Clint's children literally jumped into her arms every time she came to see them. This was no different. Except it was because this wasn't one of Clint's kids. It was Hill's. She looked at Hill to see whether she was allowed to and Maria half shrugged, half nodded in consent. She trusted Natasha enough, and in the end it didn't matter what she thought about this. If Natasha was okay with it, she saw no issue with her picking up her daughter. Natasha still took a split second to herself before leaning down to pick up the girl. Nina giggled and hugged herself to Natasha.

"Tasha!!!"

"Hello, little lady."

That made Nina giggle even more and she hid her face in Natasha's neck, content. She moved her fingers into Natasha's hair, touching it carefully. Maria smiled a little at the scene. It was rather cute, and not something she'd ever thought she'd see. Natasha with a small child in her arms was quite the sight. She supposed it had been the same for Natasha when she'd first seen her with Nina.

"Are we all ready to go?" She asked.

Nina pulled back enough to look at Maria and beamed. Natasha nodded. Maria took the hat from Nina's hand and put it on her head with a little wink and then grabbed her things again so they could head out. Natasha kept Nina in her arms. The girl had no intention of letting go of her so she resigned herself to carrying her for however long it took to get to their destination. Nina wasn't that heavy anyway. They left the apartment building again and walked a couple of blocks to reach a playground. Nina was visibly excited to be there. Natasha had never actually been to one before. Clint's kids had a few things on the farm but there were never any other people around and it wasn't as big as this place. There were swings, a slide, a jungle gym and some other climbing obstacles Natasha didn't know the name of, as well as a large sandbox. Natasha only let Nina down when she was wiggling in her arms. She ran off to the sandbox the moment her feet touched the ground but stopped halfway to come back to Natasha. She grabbed her hand and looked up at her with her big blue eyes again and Natasha never even thought about saying no. She followed her to the sandbox and sat down on the wooden edge of it while Nina climbed into it to play. There were a few other children around but none of them were currently in the sandbox. Maria sat down on a bench a few feet away to watch them. They came here somewhat often. Maria was always careful about going out but Nina was still a child and she needed some time to play outside. So Maria tried to bring her here once a week, as well as going out to the park on other days. She'd also requested some of the neighbors to take her out to play when they were able to. It wasn't perfect and Maria was well aware of it but she did her best. Nina had never complained and if she wanted to go out somewhere, Maria usually made it happen. There were rare exceptions but overall, Maria tried to make sure Nina wasn't missing out on anything.

Meanwhile, Nina was piling up all the sand around her into a big heap, patting her hand against the outside of it to make sure it stuck. Natasha helped her when she asked her to. She slid into the box with her and settled opposite her so they could work on both sides together. Nina wanted to build a castle. They hadn't taken anything with them to make that easier so Natasha had to do the majority of the shaping. Nina gave very clear instructions on what she wanted where and Natasha couldn't help but be reminded of Hill's precision. Like mother like daughter, in so many ways. Natasha chanced a look at the woman in question but quickly turned her attention back to the project in front of her under guise of paying attention to Nina's words. Natasha hadn't been prepared for that particular smile on Hill's face. That was a private smile. It felt like she was intruding, even if Hill had been the one to invite her. Nina forced her attention back to her with a tug on her shirt and Natasha winked at her. The giggle that followed the action was loud and made Natasha smile. Nina really was cute. She looked up when a couple of kids came into the sandbox as well. Nina had claimed a decent amount of sand for herself by now but the two seemed happy with the other end of the box and all the sand that was still there. Nina paid them no mind. She was wholly focused on their sand castle. They still had to build a few things and refine some others. It took another ten minutes before Nina was satisfied with all the work Natasha had done and she clapped excitedly.

"Mama, mama, look!"

Maria chuckled quietly and got up to join them. She took Natasha's previous seat on the edge of the box and adjusted Nina's hat with a smile before checking out the end result. It was obvious that Natasha had done most of it but there were plenty of Nina's little touches visible as well. One of the walls was cracked and falling apart because Nina had accidentally kicked it in her excitement.

"That's a great castle. You know what it's missing?"

Nina looked at her with wide eyes. She had no idea what could possibly be missing from their castle. Natasha was curious too. They had even built a tiny moat around the structure, even though it had no water in it.

"A princess," Maria said pointedly.

Nina erupted into more giggles and almost tore down the already compromised back wall of the castle when she flailed her legs again. Maria smiled fondly. She may not be able to give Nina everything she wanted or deserved but she was still her little princess.

"Tasha can be princess," Nina decided.

Maria looked at Natasha then, who blinked in response. Nina was exceptionally good at surprising her and catching her off guard. Natasha made it a show to think that over, endeared by the way Nina was watching her, waiting for her decision.

"I guess I could be but this castle already has a princess."

Nina laughed brightly and pushed herself up to carefully get around the castle before launching herself into Natasha's arms. The force of it almost knocked Natasha backwards. She caught herself with one hand and wrapped her other arm around the girl to return the hug she was getting. Her panic hit her as suddenly as the contact had and she trembled for a moment trying to stop it. She swallowed hard and gave Nina a gentle squeeze. She would need to find Clint later. She needed to talk or maybe just work it out with a spar. Maria noticed the way Natasha's arms shook briefly and how her fingers twitched in the sand and against Nina's back.

"How about a break from building castles and being princesses?" Maria suggested.

Nina pulled back and nodded, turning around to take in the rest of the playground. Maria gave her time to find something else to do. Nina's gaze lingered on the slide and she pointed at it.

"I can go slide?"

"Of course you can, honey. We'll be on the bench there in the meantime, okay?"

Nina nodded again and ran off to the slide, leaving Maria and Natasha alone. Natasha appreciated what Hill had just done for her. She sat up properly and then stood, getting rid of the sand stuck to her jeans. Maria rose as well and did the same. Even the wooden edge had sand on it. They walked back to the bench Maria had been occupying earlier and sat down on it. They had a good view on Nina from here but were far away enough that they could talk.

"Are you okay?"

Natasha wasn't sure how to answer that. She wasn't but she was, and she wasn't entirely willing to say either to her. Of course Hill had noticed. She'd been watching them so closely and she'd been right there anyway. The wave of panic had taken Natasha so by surprise that she hadn't been able to hide it in time. Strangely, she was okay with that.

"Yeah."

Maria wasn't buying it but barely a trace of the earlier tremble remained and Natasha's voice was steady as well. She probably was okay, but not much more than that. She wanted to ask about it but bit her tongue and refrained. It wasn't really any of her business. Natasha was a grown woman, she could make her own decisions. She didn't need to keep seeing Nina just for the sake of the girl, and maybe Maria as well. Natasha didn't need to be told that. There was no point in saying more or asking her questions. They fell silent and just watched Nina play. The girl was careful when climbing up the few steps of the slide and then laughed the whole way down before doing the same thing again. She entertained herself that way for a good ten minutes before moving on to the swings. She was too small to manage to get on by herself, or even push herself afterwards, so Maria went to help her before the girl could even ask. Natasha stayed where she was and took a few deep breaths. She felt a little better now that she had had a few minutes away from Nina. She was also glad to see Nina was happy being helped and pushed by her mother and not requesting Natasha. The break did her good. She could hear Nina laughing all the way to the bench and the sound caught her attention again. Maria pushed the swing gently and Nina gripped the chains tightly in her little hands. She was clearly enjoying herself. Natasha waved at her when Nina looked her way and she let go for just a moment to wave back. Maria made sure not to push too much so she wouldn’t fall off, but increased the speed a little when Nina asked her to. Natasha just opted to watch the two Hills. It was nice. Natasha still wasn’t used to this side of the other woman. Maria had her guard down here. Not entirely; never that, but enough. She was still wary of people, something that was amplified by her instincts as a mother. But the way she was acting when it was just her and her daughter was something else entirely. Natasha was starting to enjoy seeing more of it. She smiled to herself. Maria spent a few more minutes with Nina before the girl started to grow sleepy. She picked her up and walked back to the bench and Nina was already dozing off by the time she reached Natasha.

“It’s nap time for this little one. Do you need a ride back to HQ?” Maria asked.

“No, I’ll manage. Thanks.”

Maria smiled at her. Nina shifted in her arms, wholly asleep now, and Natasha made a small, amused sound. What a cute sight.

“Do you need help getting her back to your place?”

Maria shook her head with a grateful smile. She’d be fine. This wasn’t the first time Nina had exhausted herself playing outside. Maria always managed to get her home without the girl ever even waking up.

“No need but thank you for offering.”

At least with the girl asleep, there wouldn’t be any tears about Natasha leaving. That was something. She did walk with them for a minute, away from the playground, before parting ways. She could get back to the Triskelion no problem.


	5. Chapter 5

Over the next two months, Natasha was coming over more often and it was only partly because Nina kept asking for her. They'd fallen into a good rhythm and while Natasha still struggled being around the girl for longer periods of time, it was getting a lot better. She managed several hours now, instead of just two or three at best. It was nice. Nina was happy and Natasha was starting to enjoy herself a lot more too. She felt a little more at ease after so many more visits. The times she had to bail because her panic was overtaking her were few and far between and she hadn't gone back to talk to Clint once. She knew Maria had noticed but the other woman was kind enough not to ask questions or bring it up and so Natasha had all the time in the world to cope. The two of them even spent some more time together at work which was a nice change of pace. They ate together in the cafeteria when they were free at the same time and did a few workouts together whenever possible. As it turned out, Maria was an excellent sparring partner for Natasha and she, in turn, had some good tips on Maria's form. Not that she really needed the help but the pointers were appreciated nevertheless. They were starting to be friends now. If Fury had noticed the shift, he never said anything to either of them. It felt natural and things were comfortable now. Maria, for one, was glad to have another person she could talk to. Mostly because talking to Fury about anything truly personal was just _weird_. Natasha had started calling her Maria a while ago, even in her head, and Maria continued to refer to the redhead by her first name as well. It had been a somewhat strange change but going back now would be even stranger.

Natasha came into Maria's office one morning to drop off some files for her. They could always talk in private here, though they hadn't done a lot of that yet. It had only happened a handful of times so far. Maria was doing some reports herself and the continuous sound of her fingers hitting the keyboard filled the room. Natasha left the files on the desk and was ready to leave again when she thought of something she'd been meaning to ask Maria for quite some time now. She didn't really want to bother her now while she was working but her pause caught Maria's attention and the typing ceased.

"Do you trust me?" Natasha asked before Maria could inquire about what was up.

Maria looked up at her and smiled briefly. Of course she did.

"Yes."

"With Nina?"

"Natasha, do you really think I'd let you keep coming back around her if I didn't?"

Natasha shrugged. Trust was a fickle thing for her and she was used to people not trusting her. She was reliable at work but sometimes she still felt like a mess as a person, which made it both difficult to trust as well as be trusted. She knew they were friends but Maria was still watching her every time she came to Maria's apartment to spend time with Nina. She couldn't be blamed for asking.

"You've proven yourself plenty trustworthy to me. In fact, I've a favor to ask, if you're free one of these days."

"What is it?"

"I'm going to be stuck here for a few more days and Nina needs a babysitter. The neighbors don't mind doing it but if you're available, maybe you could look after her for a night?"

Natasha hadn't expected that and she stared at her for a few moments. She wasn't sure that was such a good idea. Sure, she was getting much better regarding her panic but she had never been alone with the girl. Maria had always been with them. And a whole night? That was a lot longer than what Natasha could currently comfortably endure. Nina would be, hopefully, asleep for most of that time but still. Natasha nodded anyway. She'd feel bad if she didn't, and Maria really was busy with work these days.

"I don't have anything urgent coming up. I can always take some paperwork with me if needed."

"Thank you," Maria smiled gratefully. "She'll love it."

Natasha was well aware that the Hills had a few bedtime traditions and routines regarding dinner but she had never been around long enough to get details on all of them. Maria explained them to her and filled her in on everything she needed to know. Nina wasn't a particularly difficult child but she did have her moments, and she got a little cranky when Maria wasn't home for a while. The neighbors all knew about everything already but Natasha hadn't needed to be alone with the girl yet and Maria hoped it wouldn't be too overwhelming. It occured to Natasha that, despite having been around them for quite a while now, she still didn’t really know a whole lot about Nina as a child. If she was going to spend half a day with her, it was probably a good time to ask about it.

“You know, I’ve never seen her anything but excited. Is that what she’s always like?”

Maria chuckled softly. It was true they had never really talked much about it and the novelty of Natasha had yet to wear off. Nina was still as excited to see her as the first day she’d come.

“She’s a big scaredy-cat,” she mused. “She’s afraid of pretty much everything but it’s mostly loud noises that set her off. She doesn’t deal well with them. She’s a bit clumsy. You probably noticed that by now. She likes to cuddle… Other than that, she’s actually a rather calm child. She’s much more quiet when there’s nothing and nobody to be excited about.”

Natasha thought that was a little funny. It sounded like Nina was nothing like Maria as far as their personalities went. Then again, Nina wasn’t even five years old yet. There was still time for more Maria Hill traits to manifest. Not to mention that Maria was quite different at home compared to at work. Very little of the hardass Commander she knew was present when Maria was with her daughter.

“She sounds like your polar opposite.”

“More or less,” Maria agreed.

They didn’t talk much more and Maria instead made sure that Natasha knew everything she needed to know for the upcoming evening. Once that was done, Maria gave her the spare keys to her apartment and Natasha left the office again. This wasn't how she'd thought her day would go, let alone the following night. She could only hope for the best.

* * *

Fury had somehow found out about her sudden babysitting duties and had given Natasha two days off, leaving her free to look after Nina for as long as Maria needed her to. She hadn't even argued the days off. Natasha could hardly remember the last time she'd taken time off herself. Natasha picked Nina up from the old lady who was currently looking after her the next afternoon. The girl was terribly excited to see her and launched herself at her the moment she saw her. Her excitement did little to cover up the sadness at not seeing her mother but there wasn't anything Natasha could do about that. The idea of spending all this time alone with the girl was already making her panic but she didn't think it was purely her anxiety spiking. She was afraid of doing something wrong or getting Nina hurt. Even Clint hadn't left her alone with his kids when they'd been this small. The prospect was altogether terrifying. She let Nina cling to her all the way back to Maria's apartment down the hall and opened the door with her spare key.

"You stay with me?" Nina asked, still holding onto Natasha like a koala.

"Your mum is busy being a superhero so she's asked me to look after you for a bit. I'm gonna be staying here until she gets back."

"Mama is hero?"

"The best one," Natasha winked with a little grin.

Maria probably saved more lives than anyone else at SHIELD, just by meticulously planning and overseeing missions. Not to mention any time she still got to go into the field. She was an excellent agent and an even better tactician. It was something Natasha was a little envious of. She could never plan on a grander scheme like Maria did almost every day. Natasha was good at dealing with her own missions but the moment it involved more than three people, she would prefer handing the planning over to Maria.

She let Nina down again when she started squirming in her hold, apparently done being carried around. She beamed up at Natasha at the words about her mother and then started bouncing up and down as she rambled about things she wanted to do with Natasha.

"Oh!! Tasha! Tashaaaaaaaaa!"

Natasha chuckled softly at the excited tone and let herself get dragged into Nina's room. It was strange to be here in the apartment without Maria. Nina ran to her toy box the moment they entered her room and she rummaged through it, taking out a few dolls to play with. She handed one to Natasha and kept another for herself. They were going to play superhero. Nina insisted on having hers be her mother and Natasha's had to deal with being the damsel in distress and needing to be saved over and over again. Natasha didn't even manage to get a rebuttal in. Nina really did take after her mother. Natasha overacted in the same way that Nina did which made the girl giggle so much she ended up hiccuping. They both came up with one scenario after another, during which Natasha's doll always ended up saved by Nina's. After all, her mother was a hero. It was only fitting. Nina went from giggling to looking extremely serious and back again every so often and Natasha thought it was absolutely adorable. Her serious face really brought home her resemblance to her mother and that was amusing to Natasha.

They played until it was time for dinner. Natasha, sadly, was a complete disaster in the kitchen and all she could reliably make was pasta. Luckily, Nina loved pasta, especially the kind that came in shapes of animals and looked like it belonged into some tomato soup. Natasha cooked under the supervision of Nina, who wanted to help her make food. Natasha let her stir the tomato sauce, always making sure she wasn't too close to the stove to hurt herself. Together they managed to fix dinner without any major mishaps, except for some of the sauce going everywhere on the countertop and stove. She'd clean that later. She was just glad not to have ruined dinner. She doubted Maria would appreciate it if she ordered takeout for them. She also remembered all the little things Nina was supposed to do before eating: wash her hands, get her plate, and grab her glass. Nina was very agreeable to that so that part also went off without a hitch. She washed her hands while Natasha brought the food to the table. Nina had her own cutlery so Natasha got that while the girl put her plate and glass down. She wasn't allowed any juice past 4pm; something about not needing any extra sugar to make her excitement even more uncontainable. Natasha poured her a glass of water instead and then filled her own as well. Nina took dinner as her chance to tell Natasha all about her stay with Mrs. Jefferson, the nice old lady from down the hall. Natasha had recognized her from previous visits. She looked after Nina quite often. She'd baked her some chocolate chip cookies this time and had let her watch cartoons all morning. Natasha hadn't been exactly sure how she'd expected this to go over but dinner passed without incident. Nina's shirt ended up with some tomato sauce here and there and the table had a few pieces of tomato on it by the end of it, but it had gone over better than she'd thought it might. At least Nina wasn't too messy an eater.

Natasha did the washing up after dinner while Nina very proudly cleaned herself up. Nina disappeared for a few moments afterwards and Natasha took the time to breathe. She'd been so busy trying to make sure everything was going well that she hadn't had time to really panic yet, but the quiet was a stark reminder that she was alone with Nina in Maria's apartment. Maria hadn't even checked in with her yet and she wondered whether that was due to trust or the other woman being insanely busy at work. She expected the latter but part of her hoped it was the former. Nina came back shouting her name just as she put away the last of the plates. She had a story book in her hands and held it out for Natasha to take.

"Couch?"

Nina nodded enthusiastically and beamed up at her with big eyes. Natasha huffed a brief laugh and they went back to the living room together. Nina climbed on the couch first and then wasted no time climbing into Natasha's lap once the redhead had settled as well. Natasha froze for a moment but then found her composure again. She gave Nina time to get comfortable before so much as opening the book. She didn't know any of the stories inside so this would be fun. Nina picked the story she wanted to hear and Natasha started reading it. She did all the voices after the girl pouted at her for not doing them. She didn't want to cause any tears. Nina giggled a few times throughout and told her her voices were wrong because her mother did them differently. Natasha did her best to adjust. Nina was awfully demanding for someone so small but she was so cute, it was impossible to deny her anything. Natasha got through the story twenty minutes later. Instead of reading the next one, however, Nina wanted to have this same story read to her again. Natasha tried negotiating with her but to no avail. She definitely got that from her mother too. She finished the story two more times before it was nearing bedtime for Nina. She closed the book and put it down on the small table in front of the couch. Nina turned around in her lap to cuddle into her. Natasha just held her for a few minutes, unsure what to do with this situation.

When it was finally actually time for bed, she nudged the girl to go get ready for it. It took a _lot_ of persuading on Natasha's part to get Nina to brush her teeth but she did go eventually. Natasha supervised. She helped her into her favorite pajamas's afterwards and then grabbed another book for one last bedtime story. Nina liked those to fall asleep to. The girl got into her bed and Natasha joined her on the edge of it, close enough that Nina could curl into her while she read. She fell asleep halfway through the story. Natasha continued reading for another minute, just in case, and then closed the book quietly. It wasn't the first time that evening that Natasha realized just how hard her heart was pounding in her chest. She hadn't let her panic rise too much but now that Nina was asleep and she was alone here, it was more than evident that it had been lurking this whole time. She left the room as quietly as she could and closed the door before heading back to the living room. Once there, she opened a window to get some fresh air. That helped. Her panic eventually subsided before it could ever become too much, and she dropped down on the couch, suddenly exhausted from the day. Maria wasn't going to be home that night but Natasha still opted for sleeping on the couch. She didn't want to intrude.

The couch was comfortable enough and Natasha managed to get some good sleep. Nina slept through the night as well but was up awfully early the next morning. She always woke up early, just like her mother. Natasha did too so she was already up when Nina opened her door to come and find her. The girl was extra quiet making her way over to the couch, unaware that Natasha already knew she was coming. She hadn't gotten up yet after all. Just because she was awake early didn't mean she wanted to get her day started this early, at least not on her day off. Nina stopped in front of the couch and tried peeking to see whether Natasha was awake.

"Tasha?" She whispered, her little hand making the edge of the couch dip down.

Natasha smiled a little and turned around when Nina poked her gently. She was surprised the girl was up this early but then again, with Maria as her mother, that was to be expected. Nina smiled at her, still a little sleepy, and climbed onto the couch with her. Natasha had to scoot back to make space for her but she didn't have it in herself to stop her either. Her little face was just too cute. Nina curled up against Natasha's side and grabbed her shirt. Natasha had no choice but to wrap an arm around her to be comfortable. Or as comfortable as she was going to get in this situation. She really wasn't ready for her to be this close so early in the day. Nina didn't say anything more and just closed her eyes again, snuggled up as close as she could physically be. Maria hadn't mentioned anything of the sort to her, so Natasha wondered where this was coming from. Maybe she just missed her mother. Natasha didn't know what that was like. Maria was drowning in work these days and Natasha doubted she'd have enough time to come home for another few days. Fury had only given her two days off and she knew the neighbors would take over when she had to get back to work herself, but it couldn't be so easy on Nina. The girl fell asleep again a few minutes later and Natasha let her get more rest. She would need to get breakfast sorted later. Maria had mentioned cereals and fruit juice for Nina but she would need to eat something herself as well. It could wait for now. Her phone buzzed with an incoming text but it was too far away for Natasha to reach without disturbing Nina. She'd check it whenever the girl woke up again. It was probably just Clint anyway.

Nina's little morning nap didn't last long and she woke up hungry half an hour later. She hid her face in Natasha's neck before looking up at her with big eyes. She looked a little upset this morning but Natasha didn't blame her.

"How about breakfast? Then we can watch some cartoons."

Nina smiled sleepily and nodded. It was a little odd to see her so quiet. Normally, Nina was full of energy when Natasha was around. This was throwing her for a loop. She helped Nina off the couch and brought her back to her room to get dressed. Natasha hadn't brought any spare clothes for herself. She wasn't too fussed about that though. Once Nina was dressed for the day, she ran ahead to the kitchen to climb into her chair, waiting for Natasha. The redhead chuckled at the sight and hurried to get breakfast ready for both of them. Natasha ended up with some slices of bread while Nina happily dug into her fruit loops. Nina's excitement was starting to come back now and Natasha wasn't sure whether to blame the sugar or her own presence. As soon as she was done eating, she wiggled off her chair and made her way to the couch but Natasha stopped her just shy of it, reminding her to go brush her teeth. Nina pouted. Natasha raised an eyebrow and grinned at her and it made Nina break into a fit of giggles. She went to brush her teeth and Natasha cleaned up after her quickly before following her to the bathroom to supervise. They went back to the living room afterwards to watch cartoons, as promised. Natasha remembered that she'd gotten a text earlier and while Nina picked her cartoons, Natasha checked her phone. It was a message from Maria, asking how things were going. She replied that everything was fine and that they were currently watching cartoons. Natasha had no idea what exactly they were watching though. The entirety of her cartoon knowledge came from the Bartons.

The rest of the day went by much the same as the previous one had. They played some more and built a few things using some toys Nina had, then spent an hour drawing before Natasha had to start making lunch. At this point, she wasn't feeling too well anymore. She'd gone from spending about four hours with both Hills to over fifteen hours with just Nina. She was struggling. Between her anxiety and panic rising, and generally just looking after a kid on her own, she was exhausted. Luckily, all the activities were exhausting for Nina as well and she barely made it through lunch without dozing off. Natasha smiled. Nina had almost faceplanted into her plate a few times. She yawned and Natasha decided it was time for a nap. She lifted Nina out of her chair and into her arms and Nina wrapped her arms around Natasha's neck, huffing against her. Natasha went back to the couch, lying down on it to be comfortable. Nina fell asleep in her arms, exhausted, and Natasha wasn't far behind. She still had one arm wrapped around the girl to hold her against her securely and Nina sprawled out on top of her once she was deeply asleep.

Maria found them like this when she came home. She hadn't expected to be able to leave work for another day or two at least but Fury had given her the afternoon off. She was grateful to get the chance to see her daughter before having to spend more time at work. Fury was great in that regard. It was still early and Maria hadn't at all been prepared for the sight she was greeted with. It was very sweet. She had the sudden urge to grab her phone and take a photo of the scene but thought better of it. Natasha wouldn't appreciate it and there was no way to explain why she'd taken it either. She wasn't even sure why she wanted to, except seeing the two of them napping together was heartwarming. Maria closed the door quietly and dropped her bag before walking over to the couch and kneeling down in front of them. She pushed some stray hair out of Nina's face and then paused. Natasha had woken up and was watching her, still clearly sleepy and barely awake yet. She blinked a few times and Maria smiled at her. She'd never seen her with her guard down like this.

"Thanks for looking after her," Maria whispered." I hope she wasn't too much trouble?"

Natasha shook her head and stretched without disturbing the girl sleeping in her arms. Nina didn't even stir. Natasha rested her arm back across Nina's small frame and covered up a yawn with her free hand.

"She was an angel. Mostly. I think she missed you a lot."

"Good thing Fury gave me a few hours off then. Barton's been asking where you'd gone."

"What did you tell him?"

"That it's classified," Maria deadpanned.

Natasha smiled lazily. Perfect. Maria turned her attention back to Nina. The girl was fast asleep and looked as content as could be. She was glad. She'd been a little worried about leaving Natasha alone with her for so long. Not because she didn't trust Natasha with her daughter but because she knew the redhead struggled being around her. She didn't know why but she wasn't blind.

"I can take her to bed," Maria offered.

"It's fine."

"Sure? You've been with her for twenty-four hours now."

Natasha was ready to argue but she'd known for a while now that Maria had noticed her panic. She'd only indirectly asked about it twice so far and had never pushed for an answer, nor had she ever directly mentioned it to her. But she'd asked if Natasha was okay after a couple of more difficult times, and again now. She appreciated it but she also didn't want her to worry. She was fine. The nap had helped too. She couldn't panic when she was asleep.

"Are you worried about me?" Natasha deflected.

Maria saw right through that. She held her gaze until Natasha wanted nothing more than to look away. Maria was good at this. It was infuriating.

"It's longer than you've ever spent with her before, and on your own no less."

Natasha did look away then, but only to watch Nina. Maria continued watching her. She knew she'd asked for a lot this time. She wanted to be sure Natasha really was fine.

"I'm... okay."

Maria studied her for a few more moments and then nodded. She stood up again and went to grab them both a drink. They would need to talk about this eventually, but today wasn't that day yet. Natasha pushed herself into a sitting position, careful not to wake Nina, and shifted on the couch to make space for Maria. She joined her again a minute later and handed Natasha a glass of water before taking a sip from her own. They spent the next few minutes in silence, both watching Nina sleep. She would be happy when she woke up again and saw her mother with them. Natasha was strangely looking forward to that, and it had nothing to do with her no longer being the sole focus of attention. Normally it would be, but lately she found herself enjoying watching the two Hills together more and more. Nina was such a happy child. Natasha hadn't been so lucky.

It took another ten minutes before Nina stirred awake. She blinked sleepily and curled her hands into fists around Natasha's shirt. It took her another few seconds to realize Maria was home and whatever sleepiness had remained disappeared immediately. She beamed and squealed loudly and threw herself from Natasha's lap into Maria's. Maria laughed at the reaction and caught her with a fond smile of her own. Natasha had the urge to look away. She couldn't even begin to explain how this made her feel.

"Mama!!"

"Hi, honey. Did you behave with Natasha?"

Nina nodded eagerly, proud of herself, and then hugged Maria tightly. Maria returned the hug. These were the highlights of her days: when she got to go home and spend time with her daughter. She was glad Fury had given her the time off. She'd needed this today. She glanced at Natasha and smiled at her warmly.

"Thank you. I'll be home until tonight so you don't have to stay."

Nina was too overjoyed at seeing her mother to really pay attention to what was going on. Natasha shrugged. She grinned at Maria. She had had fun, despite everything. It hadn't been easy for her but she was happy that she'd managed and that Nina had been so cooperative.

"I don't mind. I can help with dinner, if you want?"

"Sure," Maria smiled.

It would be nice to eat together and Nina would appreciate it too. They spent some more time sitting together on the couch. Nina took the time to tell Maria about everything they'd done the previous day and this morning, and Maria listened with a fond smile on her face. She really owed Natasha for this one.


	6. Chapter 6

After the full day of babysitting, Natasha had come back to visit the Hills a couple more times in the next week. She hadn’t needed to look after Nina again, despite Maria having to go back to work without being able to go home. Her neighbors had done the honors. Natasha was back at work too. She didn’t have any missions coming up yet but she was behind on some paperwork and Coulson had requested her help with training the new recruits. She always appreciated being asked. She knew some people in the agency were still on the fence about her and while she didn't blame them whatsoever, it was nice to be trusted by those few who did. Apparently Maria was now one of those people and Natasha still wasn't sure what to make of it. What was more, she trusted Maria too. She could count the people she trusted on one hand. Fury, Coulson, Clint and the rest of the Bartons, and now Maria. She wondered whether it was a similar affair for Maria, who didn't have a lot of people in her life either. More than Natasha, in any case, but Natasha liked to think it was the quality that mattered, not the quantity. She was happy with the few friends she had. She was also happy to include Maria in that count now. She was still thinking about that when she sat down in the cafeteria for lunch. She hadn't really been paying attention to what they were serving today, nor did it matter much to her. Natasha would eat just about anything anyway. It took two minutes before another tray slid into place opposite her, followed by Clint already munching on an apple. He grinned at her when she looked up and she rolled her eyes, amused.

"So," he started, not wasting any time to strike up a conversation. "Have you seen her again?"

"Who?"

It was Clint's turn to roll his eyes and he lifted a pea out of the sea on his plate to throw it in her direction. Natasha kicked him under the table when it landed in her mashed potatoes.

"Ow."

"You deserved that," came from next to them.

The two agents turned their heads to find Maria standing at their table, tray in hand. She raised an eyebrow and Natasha shuffled over so she could sit with her. Clint didn't look too happy about it but didn't say anything, though Natasha still threw a pea back. It wasn't that he didn't like Maria but he wasn't too big on eating with anyone but Natasha or Coulson. It was especially weird to just casually have lunch with the Commander. Natasha didn't mind. She’d never had any preferences like that but now that she'd spent more time with Maria and had had dinner at her place a couple of times, it was another story entirely.

"You never answered my question," Clint said, deciding to pick up where they left off.

Natasha shoved a forkful of mashed potatoes into her mouth and shrugged. She wasn't sure she wanted to continue this conversation with Maria here. Maria looked between the two of them curiously but said nothing.

"I've seen her a few more times, yeah."

Clint nodded a couple of times. He wanted to ask how it had been going but knew better than to bring that up with anyone else around, especially Hill. It was sometimes still difficult enough to have Natasha talk to him about her anxieties and panic attacks. He wasn't going to go down that road with company.

"Cool," he said instead and Natasha offered him a small, grateful smile.

There was a reason Clint was her best friend. Moments like these were definitely a part of it. Theoretically, it'd be fine to talk about this with Maria around because she knew that Maria was aware of her reactions around Nina. But they had never really discussed it before between just the two of them and she didn't want it to be out in the open like this. They would need to talk about it eventually, no matter how well Natasha was starting to handle things. She doubted it'd just go away completely. It had been weeks now and Natasha still felt like she couldn't breathe sometimes. Those times were happening less and less frequently but she was nowhere near the level of comfort she had around Clint's kids.

"Is she cute?" He asked with a big grin.

Maria's expression shifted to something half amused and half confused while Natasha just groaned in annoyance. She regretted telling him anything at all. Maybe she should have just sucked it up and dealt with it on her own. At least then she wouldn't have to deal with his stupid questions. She glanced at Maria and found her watching her, blue eyes fixed on her face. Nina really did have those very same eyes.

"Not like that," Natasha said, knowing full well where Clint was going with this.

"But she _is_ cute."

"Clint, I swear I'm going to throw you off this ship if you keep saying stupid shit."

Clint looked at Maria in a plea for help but the woman just shrugged and then smirked a little. She wasn't sure what exactly was going on here but she rather enjoyed seeing him squirm like that. She didn't dislike him but anything that shut him up for a minute was something to back up in her book. All the better if that something was coming from Natasha.

"I didn't hear anything."

Natasha's answering grin was well worth it. Clint pointed his finger between the both of them, accusing them of teaming up, and then continued to eat the rest of his lunch pouting like a child. Natasha laughed. She kicked him again, gently this time.

"Don't pout. I know four year olds who pout less than you."

Maria touched her foot to Natasha's at her words. She didn't know how old Clint's kids were now but she didn't think Natasha hung around many small children. And while it could have just been nothing more than a tease, Maria knew better. She couldn't help the small panic she felt at having her secret outed like that. Natasha smiled at her reassuringly and, surprisingly, that did ease some of Maria's sudden nerves. They'd need to talk about this later too. Clint was completely oblivious to their silent interaction.

"That's a lie. You don't know any four year olds," he countered.

"True," Natasha grinned. "But I bet they still pout less than you."

Clint finished the last of his peas and then got up, glaring at her without any heat behind it. Natasha smiled innocently. Maria stayed out of it. She didn't see them interact often so this was nice, if a little bit strange to witness. They bickered like children and she couldn't help but wonder whether this was an every day occurrence.

"You're mean. You need a mission."

"Yeah, probably," Natasha conceded.

She wasn't restless yet but she was getting there, despite the work she still had to do. Natasha needed more than sitting on her ass on the Helicarrier or training recruits who couldn't keep up with her. Maybe a sparring match would do until another mission came up. Clint left, his glare replaced with a small smile. She hadn't actually hurt his feelings, though the kick to his shin had definitely hurt. This was just how they were sometimes. Natasha turned to Maria when Clint was finally out of ear shot and apologized. Maria certainly hadn't seen that one coming. Natasha didn't just apologize.

"What was he talking about?" Maria asked instead, curious.

"Nina. I didn't tell him much, not even a name, but I needed to sort through some things after our first meeting. He's good for that."

Maria nodded. She was once again reminded that Natasha wasn't always managing to hide her panic around Nina very well. She knew she tried, though she had no idea for whose sake she tried. Her own more than anyone else's, probably.

"This has been... interesting."

"Oh, yeah?" Natasha smirked, turning her full attention to Maria.

They'd spent more time together at work lately but it was still never for very long and rarely without talking about Nina. With their busy schedules, they didn't exactly have time for a lot. If Maria needed Natasha to come over, then it was often the only thing they had time to talk about. Likewise, Natasha usually had just enough time to inquire about whether Nina wanted her back again before she had to get going again too. Maria didn't get a lot of breaks outside of lunch and dinner, and even then she rarely made an appearance in the cafeteria. This was possibly one of the longest times they'd spent together consecutively. The time they had at Maria's apartment usually included Nina the entire time so Natasha didn't count that.

"I don't think I've ever seen you two just be."

"It isn't always like this," Natasha offered. "Sometimes we can hold a serious conversation for more than five minutes."

Maria chuckled softly and it made Natasha smile. She couldn't explain what it was but she liked hearing that sound, especially when Nina was nowhere to be found. She liked it all the time, really, but it was rare for Maria to do anything quite so relaxed at work.

"I don't believe you," Maria grinned.

"Wow, rude."

Maria just smiled and Natasha returned it. They finished their lunch in companionable silence and then Maria had to get back to work. Natasha did too but she stayed another couple of minutes, poking her empty plate with her fork. She still wanted to spar, and maybe have an actual talk with Clint. She was curious about how Laura and the kids were doing too. She had no idea when he might go to see them again and she wasn't sure whether she'd tag along if he invited her. She had very rarely declined but things were different now. Maybe she was growing too attached to the tiny Hill. Or maybe it was just that Natasha wanted to see more of the side Nina brought out in Maria. There was something warm about it that had nothing to do with her being a mother. Laura was a mother too and seeing her with her kids didn't make Natasha feel that same kind of warmth. Natasha didn't dwell on that for much longer and finally got up to bring her tray away. She went to her quarters afterwards to finish some of her paperwork. She would hit the gym later, after she was done with all of this.

Later turned out to be the middle of the night, just past midnight. She hadn't spent all evening working on files and reports but it had taken her well past dinner time to finish them. She'd been restless after that and had tried to sleep but to no avail. So now she was in the gym, stretching and warming up in hopes of a good workout sending her right to sleep. There was no way she'd get that lucky but she hoped anyway. And in any case, she was feeling entirely too restless. She didn't know why. It could be the lunch conversations with Clint and Maria, or maybe it was just the fact that she hadn't been able to really focus on anything that day. Natasha could think of plenty of reasons, which was new. She wasn't normally like this. Sure, she'd get restless or overthink things but that usually revolved around a lack of missions and nightmares respectively. This was different. She finished her stretches and started on one of the treadmills. The gym was empty and it was nice to be able to choose her equipment freely. She ran in hopes of clearing her mind. Half an hour passed and she felt nowhere near calmer. Natasha was starting to feel frustrated. She got off the treadmill and tried her luck lifting but the burn in her muscles wasn't enough to make her feel any better. Natasha gave up after another hour of working out at various machines and another half hour of hitting the punching bag. It was nearing 2:30 in the morning now. She was pretty sure she could forget about getting any sleep but staying here wasn't helping either. She grabbed her things and went back to her quarters for a much needed shower. Maybe Fury was still up and working. She decided to try her luck after her shower, not even bothering to fully dry her hair.

Fury was nowhere to be found but the command deck wasn't empty despite the late hour. Maria was still there, giving orders and keeping an eye on things. She turned around when Natasha approached, surprised. Maria took in the wet hair and baggy clothes and then quickly focused back on Natasha's face. That was a good look on her. Cozy.

"Is Fury here?"

"He's sleeping, for once," Maria answered with a brief shake of her head. "What's up?"

"I was hoping maybe he'd have a mission for me."

"Eager to get off this ship?"

It wasn't like Natasha never asked for missions but usually she didn't have to. She was one of their best agents after all and her expertise in the field was irreplaceable. Fury often kept the best for when Natasha was available. She had more experience than most people on the Helicarrier and just the right mindset to be sent on sensitive or otherwise dangerous missions, usually either solo or with Barton, sometimes as part of a team but with a different agenda.

"I'm restless," Natasha admitted.

She joined Maria's side and watched the agents on night shift. She had no idea how these people didn't just go stir crazy sitting at their stations all the time. She knew it wasn't comparable since at least half of them weren't field agents and so things were different for them, but just thinking about it made Natasha want to pace. Maria watched her closely.

"I'm not sure we have anything that really requires your presence right now."

"Way to crush a girl's dreams."

Maria smiled apologetically and touched her arm briefly. They had never really touched before and the contact caught Natasha by surprise. Maria's fingers were warm, her touch gentle. She could feel it lingering even after Maria removed her hand again, just as surprised as Natasha had been at the touch. Natasha smiled back at her, her lips curving into more of a grin. It made Maria roll her eyes and Natasha felt some satisfaction in that.

"I can't promise anything but I can try to find something suitable."

Natasha hummed briefly. She appreciated it. She was starting to feel slightly less antsy now. That was probably Maria's doing. The way she handled herself at work was rather grounding. It felt like nothing could ever faze her. Natasha was a little envious of that. It should be easier for her too but she didn't manage as effortlessly as Maria always did.

"Why are you even up? I thought you were going home."

"Probably not for another day or two at this rate," Maria sighed.

She inclined her head towards the large conference table behind them and Natasha followed her there. They sat down next to each other so they wouldn't need to shout just to hold a conversation. Maria did enough of that throughout the day. Natasha never cared to raise her voice. She wasn't worried about being heard. People listened when she spoke.

"Any plans for when you do get to go home?"

"Not exactly. I imagine I won't be able to go far without being followed."

Natasha smiled a little at the image that procured. Nina would attach herself to Maria like a koala and then refuse to let go of her for the entirety of the day. She almost wanted to be there to see it. She was rather fond of watching the two of them. Natasha kept that to herself, momentarily distracted by a pair of blue eyes.

"You chose this," Natasha said with an amused grin.

Something dark crossed over Maria's face and clouded her expression at the words and Natasha immediately wanted to take them back. She hadn't meant to say anything stupid. She still didn't know how Nina had come to be and now she may have said something insensitive as a result. Maybe Maria hadn't chosen it. Maybe it had been an accident or maybe something far more terrible had happened. Natasha felt her stomach tighten at the thought and she balled her hands into fists on the table to keep from bolting, or smashing something. Maria had told her the first time when she'd asked about Nina's father that that was something she shouldn't inquire about. She was such an idiot.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean anything by it."

Maria said nothing. She watched Natasha's fists clench tighter and reached out to rest her fingers against her wrist in an attempt to make her relax. Her silence wasn't helping that but she wasn't sure how to reply to that. For once, she didn't know how to diffuse the situation. Natasha tried to focus on the contact rather than the way Maria's expression made her chest hurt. That didn't even make any sense. Natasha wasn't the one hurt.

"I'm sorry," she said again lamely, not knowing what else to say.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it," Maria tried but it wasn't as convincing as she wanted it to be.

She wasn't upset. She knew Natasha had said it innocently enough. It wasn't like she could possibly know any better. Maria had never told her and she didn't feel up for it quite yet either. Fury wouldn't have told Natasha anything either, Maria was sure of that. It wasn't Natasha's fault that she'd hit a nerve. Maria wasn't even particularly bothered by it but she couldn't find the words to explain any of it to Natasha and so she didn't.

"I'm sorry I'm an idiot."

"It's weird when you apologize," Maria said, a faint smile on her lips.

Natasha looked up from where they were still touching and raised an eyebrow. She could work with this. Anything to make that haunted look disappear from Maria's face. Maria pulled her hand back when Natasha unclenched her fist. She could still feel Natasha's skin beneath her fingertips.

"Why's that?"

"Because you never apologize," Maria said easily. "And yet you've done it four times today. Who are you and what have you done to Natasha?"

Natasha did grin at that and some of the remaining tension ebbed out of her. It had the same effect on Maria, who relaxed her shoulders a little more too. This was good. Maria didn't like seeing Natasha so tensed, and Natasha, for one, never wanted to see that expression on Maria's face ever again. Neither one of them said any of that though.

"You got me. I'm actually a shapeshifter who stole this body. The real Natasha is tied up somewhere in the hangar."

Maria raised her eyebrow and smirked: "As if anything could keep Romanoff tied up."

"I'm sure we could find something that does it."

Maria laughed quietly, decidedly ignoring all the ways this conversation could go. She shook her head in amusement and smiled when Natasha smiled at her. That was much better, and much lighter. Natasha was glad for it too. They fell silent and watched the command deck from their chairs. Nobody currently needed Maria's input so Maria remained seated and just observed. Natasha did the same. She was still feeling restless but now it was a different kind of restlessness. She could still see that look on Maria's face if she closed her eyes and no amount of blue eyes and dazzling smiles was making it go away.

"Mind if I keep you company?" She asked.

"It's late, Natasha. You should probably go to sleep."

Natasha waved that off and shrugged. If she hadn't already given up on sleep earlier, she could certainly forget about it now. She wasn't interested in doing any more paperwork this late, and there were no recruits to train in the middle of the night. She could hit the gym again but it hadn't helped the first time so she doubted it'd be any different now. She could go bother Clint if she really wanted to but if Maria didn't mind, she'd rather be here.

"That's not happening tonight. And as entertaining as it looks to just stand there being imposing, I might be able to entertain you more than these guys," Natasha grinned, indicating the agents at their work stations.

"You think I'm imposing?"

"Absolutely," she smirked.

The immediate reply made Maria grin and she accepted the offer of Natasha's company. It was true that she didn't get to do much here right now. Everything was running smoothly without her constant input and there weren't any more missions scheduled to finish tonight. It wasn't going to be the most interesting night of her life, and as long as she remained on the command deck, she'd be fine. Might as well have someone to talk to who didn't currently report to her. They sat together and chatted a bit about Clint, skillfully avoiding mentioning his family, and instead talking about how Natasha had kicked his ass the last few times they'd sparred. She usually laid him out on the mat but that didn't mean he wasn't capable of doing the same. He was a good fighter. Natasha just liked giving him shit.

"Hey, do you think they still have muffins in the cafeteria?" Natasha asked a while later.

Maria checked the time. It was almost 4am now. If they still had any, they were probably stale. They did the best they could to provide decent enough food while in the air but there was only so much they could do. Maria knew because she filled out the requisition requests for the cafeteria.

"I wouldn't count on them still being edible."

"If they're not, I'll give them to Clint."

"You're such an ass," Maria mused.

Natasha grinned and pushed her chair back to go searching for muffins. The cafeteria was always staffed, even throughout the night, so it was just a matter of finding what she was looking for. She left the command deck with promises to find food for them both. She hadn't eaten anything since dinner and she wasn't sure Maria had eaten dinner at all. The walk to the cafeteria took a few minutes and she was a little disappointed to find a severe lack of muffins. Mentioning Maria when talking to the woman in charge at least got her a couple of freshly made sandwiches.

"We have to start early," she said when Natasha raised an eyebrow.

She knew that, of course. She had come here plenty of times before during the night or early morning hours, but she'd never gotten her hands on anything that had literally just been made. She'd always gotten the leftover food from the previous day, not that she found that worthy of a complaint. Any food was good food in her book. She thanked her and left again to return to the command deck, and Maria.

"Oh, that smells nice," Maria remarked the moment Natasha was close enough for her to smell the food.

Natasha handed her one of the sandwiches and kept the other for herself. She hadn't asked why Maria was getting freshly made food when the rest of the carrier had to live off of the leftovers until they had their breakfast hours. It didn't matter. It could be anything from being one of the two people in charge of everyone to Maria's terrible habit of not eating enough during a day. She needed more hours to get everything done. Natasha could relate to that, if only sometimes.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 1

The next week passed without much of anything happening. Natasha had come to Maria's place once to play with Nina, and had spent some extra time with Maria at work. After that first night of them just talking, Natasha had found it a good alternative to working out in the gym when she couldn't sleep. They had only managed that two more times but it had been nice to just chat. Maria, likewise, had tried to find time to head to the cafeteria for lunch so they could eat together. It was different here than when they were at Maria's apartment. They both acted differently here but there were glimpses of how they were when Nina was with them, so long as nobody else was around or paying attention to them. Those were quickly becoming a favorite for Natasha and Maria both. It was nice to see other sides of the other even when at work.

Natasha was sent on a short mission just a couple of days later. It was scheduled to take a day or two at worst. Natasha didn't mind. As much as she would have preferred something a little longer to deal with the remainder of her restlessness, anything was good at this point. Plus, she was just starting to get used to spending more time with Maria as friends. She liked that. But the job came first and it wasn't like Maria didn't understand that. It wasn't a problem. They never made any plans to hang out outside of the times Maria asked Natasha over to her apartment for Nina. Missing an unscheduled lunch date in the cafeteria wouldn't be the end of the world for either of them. Natasha didn't actually see her again before her departure. She knew Maria was aware of the mission so she didn't bother texting her about it. It wasn't that important, nor long enough to warrant the effort.

* * *

When Natasha returned from her mission two days later, Maria was still nowhere to be found. Natasha had skipped medical, as per usual, and had gone to her quarters to shower and change. She was on her way to the debrief when she noticed that Maria's office was empty. She wasn't on the command deck and as far as she knew, Maria wasn't currently supposed to be at the Triskelion either, which left Natasha confused. Her mission hadn't been important enough to have Fury debrief her so she went to Coulson's office instead. He was already expecting her too. He smiled at her and she returned it before sitting down in the chair opposite him. The debrief itself didn't take long at all but they ended up chatting a little more afterwards. Coulson had been quite busy lately and hadn't been able to check in with Natasha as often as he liked to. Natasha didn't mind. It was nice to hear from him and just talk about more mundane things, like the violinist he was seeing these days. She was glad he had someone like that. Coulson certainly deserved it. They wrapped up another ten minutes later and Natasha got up. She remembered the empty office and decided to see whether he knew anything about Maria's whereabouts.

"Hey, have you seen Hill?"

"Not for the last few days, no.

"Huh," she mumbled.

She could ask Fury about it but she didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing she cared. She would try calling Maria later and hope she wasn't interrupting anything important. Coulson gave her a look at the silence that followed but she just shook her head and waved lazily before leaving. She went back to her quarters to work on her report. Since the mission had been so short and uneventful, it barely took any time. That was a nice change of pace. Natasha could certainly go without all of the paperwork SHIELD was so fond of. It was still early in the day so she decided to grab some late lunch in the cafeteria. She'd call Maria afterwards.

Once Natasha was back in her quarters and comfortable on her bed, she grabbed her phone and dialed Maria's number. It took almost half a minute for her to pick up. She was usually much quicker than that. Natasha frowned and it only deepened when she heard Maria's voice on the other end of the line. She didn't sound too hot.

"Are you okay?" Natasha asked, still frowning.

Maria huffed into the phone but the action made her cough and she pulled the phone back to try and minimize the volume for Natasha. It did nothing to ease her own headache though.

"Just a cold. Nina got sick about a week ago and I ended up catching it too."

Natasha had never been sick a day in her life so she had no idea what that was like. If Maria's voice was anything to go by though, it was probably awful. Not to mention that Maria had to look after a sick child on top of being sick herself now. No wonder she wasn't at work. She didn't know what she was supposed to do with this information or whether she was even supposed to do anything at all but she figured she could at least offer her help. Maria already had her hands full enough. Maybe she could ease some of the burden on her in this situation.

"Do you need anything?"

"I need a lot of things right now," Maria replied, pinching the bridge of her nose in a fruitful attempt to make her headache go away.

"I can come over if you want? Bring some stuff, maybe help out?"

There was a long pause before Maria spoke up again. She appreciated the offer but she hadn't expected it. They were friends now but Natasha still didn't seem the type to do any of this. Still, Maria was exhausted and Nina was still sick too, which meant a lot of tears at the moment. At the very least, Maria could use the company. And maybe it would even help Nina to cheer up a little. She doubted it but she hoped.

"You don't have to. But if you're sure, I wouldn't say no to the offer."

"Okay. Need anything while I'm still out?"

"Some meds and tea would be great. I can text you what exactly."

"Sounds good. I'll stop by as soon as I can."

"Thank you," Maria said.

She was grateful for the help. Natasha's reply was lost to Maria's ears as Nina started crying again loudly from her room so she hung up and made a quick list of medications and tea for Natasha to get. It wasn't the first time Nina had ever gotten sick but this was definitely one of the worst colds the girl had caught yet. It would be less bad for Maria if she hadn't also gotten sick, but as it was, she was terribly exhausted and tired. It didn't help that she felt pretty useless in calming down her daughter these days. Nina still had a bit of a fever and her throat was sore which meant she could barely swallow anything without it hurting her. Maria wished she could do more but aside from giving Nina her medicine and the tea, there just wasn't much to do. She really hoped Natasha's presence would alleviate some of Nina's upset.

* * *

Natasha had never been around Clint’s kids when they had been sick so her experience with sick children, or anyone being ill really, amounted to close to nothing. Clint had had the sniffles once and that was about it. He hadn’t needed much help in getting better. Looking at the list of things Maria had texted her, Natasha genuinely doubted it would be that easy with both Hills. Not to mention that Nina had been sick for days now. Natasha went to the first pharmacy she could find once she was back in D.C. and made sure not to forget anything from the list. The lady working there was both lovely and terribly helpful when Natasha had seemed lost at some of the options for certain medicines. She had no idea. She went over the list with her and Natasha ended up texting Maria again just to make sure she got the right ones. It took a few minutes for a reply to come but the pharmacist waited it out with her. Natasha was grateful. She was a little overwhelmed with all of these options. She knew next to nothing about regular illness medication. The only things she knew about were painkillers. The pharmacist went over each with her, just in case, and Natasha thanked her for all her help before paying and leaving. She left with a bag full of meds.

Natasha made one more stop before heading to Maria's apartment. She went to a nearby grocery store to get some more tea for the Hills, picking a few additional ones she liked personally on top of the ones Maria had asked for. The way from there to Maria’s apartment building took ten minutes, plus another minute for Natasha to get up to Maria’s flat. She knocked as soon as she was there and could already hear Nina crying from inside. It didn’t take too long for Maria to open the door, despite the commotion that was going on inside. Nina was throwing half a tantrum from being sick. Maria looked awful.

“You are a godsend,” Maria said, clearly relieved to see her.

“You look awful,” Natasha countered. “I got your meds. I hope.”

Maria let her in and took the two bags from her with a tired thanks. Nina hadn’t stopped crying in the last thirty minutes. Maria had tried her best to calm her down but hadn’t had any luck so far. Nina was lying on the couch, huddled in a blanket with her favorite plushie. She wasn’t paying any attention to the newcomer. Natasha didn’t like seeing her so upset.

“How is she?”

“Her fever isn’t going down. It’s not so high that it’s dangerous but she’s exhausted. The doc said that if it doesn’t go down at all by tomorrow, I should bring her in again. Other than that, her sore throat is upsetting her the most.”

“And you?”

Maria tried to wave it off but the action left her dizzy and she sighed. She put the bag of medicine and the one with the tea on the table and leaned against it. She felt worse than she looked but mostly she was just so damn tired.

“Been better.”

Natasha watched her for a few moments. Maria looked all around exhausted. Natasha wanted to help but she wasn't even sure what to offer. Maria, despite feeling off, still managed to read her hesitation for what it was. It was quite impressive.

"You don't have to stay. We don't all need to get sick."

"Don't worry about it. I've never been sick; I'm not about to start now. Can I do anything?"

Maria checked the time and then emptied the bags Natasha had brought. She was surprised to see so much tea but smiled at Natasha's thoughtfulness. That was nice. It was going to be time for dinner soon and Maria hoped Natasha would be up for helping her out one way or another. Either in making it or seeing to Nina.

"Could you start some tea for us? And then I could probably use some help with dinner."

"Sure," Natasha nodded.

She let Maria pick the tea she wanted and then went to the kitchen with the entire bag. After the time she'd spent in the kitchen when she'd been babysitting Nina, Natasha remembered where the kettle was without Maria needing to tell her. She grabbed it, filled it up with enough water for all three of them, and then grabbed three cups. She left the bags in there while she waited for the water to boil, watching Maria sort through the medications she'd brought. She had never seen her so under the weather, not even the few times Maria had come back from a mission injured. It was weird and she didn't like it. Nina crying through her discomfort was just as bad though, if not worse. She had no idea how to even begin trying to make it better. The thought made her pause and she looked away when Maria looked at her. She didn't understand why it mattered. The click of the kettle saved her from any inquiries and she turned her attention back to finishing the tea. She poured some water into each cup and then brought two of them over to the living room. She handed Maria hers and then went to the couch to put Nina's down on the coffee table. It was too hot for her to drink quite yet.

"Hey, _myshka,_ " Natasha said softly, crouching down in front of Nina.

It was the first time Nina even noticed her and she stopped crying for a few moments. All the effort had left her exhausted and hiccuping. She sniffed a few times and wiggled an arm free to reach out and touch Natasha's face. Natasha smiled at her. Maria watched the two of them, warming her hands on her own cup of tea. She was freezing these days, no matter how many layers she ended up wearing.

"Who's your friend?"

Nina's plushie was just poking out enough that Natasha could make out what it was supposed to be: an otter. It looked adorable and soft. Nina hugged it closer to her chest and removed her hand from Natasha's face again. She dropped it in front of her face dramatically and Natasha would have laughed if it weren't for the circumstances. The girl looked even more exhausted than Maria did. She probably didn't have the energy to keep holding her arm up. Nina looked too worn out to even talk.

"His name is Joey," Maria provided.

Natasha looked up at her and then smiled at Nina again. It wasn't right to see her like this. Nina was a bundle of energy; at least when Natasha was around. She adjusted the blanket over Nina and then stood up again. Nina looked just about ready to fall asleep, despite barely having finished crying. Maria knew that there would be more of that once it was dinner time. Even drinking her tea would be uncomfortable. Natasha went back to the kitchen to grab her own cup of tea and then sat down at the dining table with Maria. They could both keep an eye on Nina from here. There wasn't much either one of them could do right now anyway. Maria watched Natasha again for a few moments before she took a careful sip from her tea. It was too hot to drink still but she was so damn cold.

" _Myshka_?" Maria asked.

Her Russian was rusty at best and that combined with the fog in her brain from this cold, she couldn't remember what it meant. She only remembered a few words and phrases. Russian wasn't one of the languages she knew very well.

"It means little mouse," Natasha replied.

She was a little worried that she may have overstepped a boundary by using it but it had just slipped out. Which was odd considering she never really used any endearments, let alone Russian ones. She'd done it a few times with Clint's kids but the last time had been at least a couple of years ago, and they were close enough that it didn't even raise eyebrows. Her and Maria weren't anywhere near that close.

"It's sweet. I think she liked it."

Natasha nodded absently. It seemed she'd worried over nothing then. Maria didn't sound mad. Just tired. Natasha was starting to get used to that, at least for now. It was still weird but it wasn't just going to disappear overnight. At least she didn't think it would. Natasha had no idea how these things worked.

"What do you need my help with for dinner?"

"I'm not entirely sure yet. It's probably just going to be a soup for us so I don't know if you want to make something for yourself."

"Soup is fine," Natasha assured. "I can make it. I don't think I'm capable of messing that up."

Maria smiled in amusement and Natasha chuckled quietly. She didn't think she'd be able to mess up soup. She'd failed at a lot of things in regards to cooking but surely soup wasn't going to be one of those things. Maria got up a few minutes later to head to the couch. She checked the temperature of the tea on the coffee table and then took the cup to sit with Nina. It wasn't too hot to drink anymore now but still warm. She helped Nina sit up without disturbing her cocoon state and then helped her drink the tea, sip by sip. Nina made a face after each, her throat hurting. Natasha felt bad for her. Maria didn't make her drink all of it at once. She put the cup down after Nina had drunk about a third of it and then cupped her cheek. She kissed her temple before Nina shuffled to lie back down, resting her head in Maria's lap. She sniffled a few times and curled up more. Maria was effectively stuck for the time being.

It was just about time for dinner now so Natasha brought Maria her cup of tea and promised to get started on making dinner. Maria told her where to find the soups and which one to make, and Natasha left for the kitchen to prepare everything. She started boiling some water in a pot and searched for the packets of soup Maria had in her cupboard. She found them fairly quickly and picked up the tomato soup. Nina preferred it over the broths Maria had for times like these so Maria tried alternating the two. It was hard enough on Nina to be sick like this and while Maria wasn't able to do as much as she wanted, she could at least try to make her some food she actually liked. It was the best compromise she could come up with in terms of dinner. Nina wasn't up for eating anything more solid yet. It felt like forever for the water to boil but the soup itself didn't take too long to make. Natasha filled two bowls with it; one for Maria and one for herself. She took another cup for Nina and filled that with soup too. She figured it would be easier to eat that way. She brought the cup over first and Maria nudged Nina back into a sitting position so she could eat. They stayed on the couch for now, exceptionally. Natasha went back for the other two bowls and joined the two Hills on the couch for dinner. Nina nestled herself between the two of them, resting her head on Natasha's shoulder after her first few sips of soup. A few more tears followed but Nina dozed off before she could even finish her soup. Maria took her cup away before she could spill it and then carefully picked her up.

"Thank you for dinner. I'll take her to bed."

Natasha nodded. She finished the last of her own soup and then got up to clean. She brought both of Nina's unfinished cups as well but left Maria's alone in case she still wanted to eat. It took a couple of minutes before Maria emerged again from her own bedroom, rather than Nina's. She let the girl sleep in her room when she was sick. It allowed her to keep an eye on her and it was reassuring for Nina as well. She hadn't expected Natasha to clean up but she appreciated it. Anything she didn't have to do these days was welcome in her books.

"You didn't have to."

"It's fine. Do you need anything else?"

Maria shook her head. She had no idea. Natasha followed her back to the couch and Maria dropped down on it. She was barely keeping herself awake. Natasha sat down too and watched her, a little concerned. Maria practically sunk into the couch, a heavy sigh leaving her. Natasha hesitated. Maria's eyes were a little glassy. Natasha knew that wasn't a good thing. She contemplated her next action for several more seconds but eventually decided to just go for it. She leaned a little closer and brought up one of her hands to rest it on Maria's forehead to check her temperature. Maria was boiling. She looked at Natasha in surprise but was far too tired to be bothered. Natasha's hand was pleasantly cool against her skin and she closed her eyes to enjoy the touch.

"Are you always this cool?" Maria mumbled.

Natasha smiled a little and kept her hand there. Maria was starting to be pretty out of it from her fever. Her bangs were already sticking to her skin.

"You're boiling, Maria. Can I get you anything?"

"Your hand's fine."

Maria rolled her head to the side on the back of the couch to look at Natasha, smiling faintly. She was feeling much worse than she had just that morning. Natasha helped. Natasha, for one, was a little lost on what to do now. She couldn’t stay like this forever, and she was pretty sure her hand wasn’t going to miraculously fix the fever, even if it felt cold now. That, and neither Maria now Natasha could sleep like this. Or maybe Maria could. She looked just about ready to.

“My hand isn’t going to be enough to make the fever go away,” Natasha argued.

Maria made a non-committal sound at that. Natasha recalled buying medicine that should help with fever so she reluctantly removed her hand to get up and find it. Maria almost whined at the sudden loss of coolness against her skin. She sat up just enough to watch Natasha roam around the living room. She was almost too out of it to realize what she was doing but she wasn’t quite there yet. She needed rest. Natasha returned with the meds once she’d found them and Maria, luckily, didn’t argue taking them.

“You should try to get some sleep, Masha. I can see myself out, or I can stay the night if you’d rather. In the state you’re in, I’m not sure you’ll manage with Nina by yourself.”

Natasha was sure Maria would try and she would probably be stubborn enough to manage it but it would only be at the cost of her own health. Natasha didn’t mind staying to help out, or coming back first thing in the morning. Either option worked for her. She could crash at the Triskelion for the night and be back in time for breakfast.

“‘m okay. Just tired.”

“You’re stubborn is what you are,” Natasha smiled.

She wasn’t one to talk though. She did the exact same thing when she was injured. Clint practically had to bully his way into helping her. Natasha didn’t want to do the same here but she could be stubborn too.

“Go to bed. I’ll clean up and then leave. I’ll be back in the morning.”

Maria shook her head. She appreciated all of the help, and the offer for more of it. If her fever got any worse, she wouldn’t be able to look after Nina very well. It didn’t feel right to push that responsibility onto Natasha either though. Natasha had enough on her plate. But Maria knew that she really could use the assistance. If it were just her, she wouldn’t even consider accepting but she had to think of Nina too. It would be good to have Natasha here just in case.

“Stay?”

Natasha smiled at her and nodded. She could do that. It made her feel a little bit better, actually. If anything came up during the night for either one of the Hills, at least she could be there to help. Or try to, at the very least. She was glad Maria saw reason.

“Sure.”

Maria smiled gratefully and then got up, careful not to much too much at once. Her muscles were starting to ache from the fever and her head felt woozy from the rest of her cold. She was steady on her feet though. Natasha watched her closely to make sure she wasn’t going to fall over but was satisfied when Maria managed to make it to her bedroom by herself. Maria mumbled a tired “ _goodnight”_ and then moved to get changed. Natasha took the time to clean up. With everything that had happened, she hadn’t even realized that she hadn’t once felt those by now familiar waves of panic creeping up on her. Nina had barely paid her any attention and Natasha had been preoccupied with being worried about the two Hills. That wasn’t exactly how she’d wanted to deal with her panic but she could only worry about one thing at a time. She finished cleaning up and then made herself comfortable on the couch, listening for any sounds coming from the bedroom, just in case. She was a light sleeper anyway but she wanted to be sure they were okay for the night.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part 2 :)

Maria woke up the next morning feeling completely exhausted. She hadn’t slept well despite her body demanding rest, waking up from her own fever and Nina’s shuffling at least once an hour. Nina was still asleep but Maria knew that wouldn’t last much longer. The girl didn’t sleep any better than her these days. Maria checked on her, touching her forehead with her hand before realizing she was still burning up herself and no good indicator for anyone’s temperature right now. She tried to recall the events of the previous evening. Her head was still feeling fuzzy and her memories weren’t doing any better. She was fairly certain that Natasha had stayed the night and was sleeping on the couch. She also remembered her hand pressed against her forehead. There was a name on the tip of her tongue that wasn’t hers but must be because she was pretty sure Natasha had used it to address her. Unless she had imagined that. Maria couldn’t tell. She wasn’t going to bring it up in case it had just been in her head. That would just be embarrassing and she she’d already done enough of that thanks to the fever. Maria stayed in bed until Nina woke up. The girl didn’t immediately start crying like she had the last few days so Maria hoped for the best. Nina snuggled into her side when she was a little more awake and coughed quietly. Her dry throat was irritating, not just for swallowing but now for breathing as well. A few cup of teas and some cough syrup would hopefully spell the end for that problem in a couple of days. Maria wrapped her arms around her and smiled at her.

“No tears this morning?”

Nina shook her head slowly and looked up at her mother before reaching out to pat her cheek.

“Hot,” she mumbled.

“It’ll go away soon. How are you feeling today? Does anything hurt?”

Nina touched her own throat to indicate her current major point of discomfort and Maria kissed her head. That she could do something about. She’d need to get up soon to get them breakfast and grab their meds but her limbs were aching from her fever and the idea seemed all around unappealing. Nina didn’t want to move yet either and was happy enough just cuddling for now. A few more coughs made it through though and Maria really needed to get her that cough syrup. A knock on the door caught both of their attention and Nina looked at her with big eyes. She’d had no idea Natasha had stayed the night.

“Come in.”

Natasha opened the door and stopped in the doorway, trying not to let her gaze wander around the room. She wasn’t uncomfortable, exactly, but this felt like an intrusion and Natasha was hesitant to be here at all. Maria was far too tired to realize. The fog in her brain wasn’t helping.

“I heard some coughing,” Natasha justified. “Do you guys need anything?”

“The cough syrup and a thermometer.”

Natasha nodded and she smiled at Nina when she noticed the girl staring at her.

“Tasha!”

Maria winced at the volume but Nina coughed again from it and started crying when it hurt. Natasha felt bad for her. At least Nina wasn’t looking as sick as just yesterday, and she was certainly happier to see her.

“Mhmm. I’ll be right back.”

Natasha left to get the cough syrup and grab a thermometer. She’d make some tea later too and see about what the Hills were feeling up to eating. She found what she was looking for quickly enough and came back to the bedroom. She paused in the doorway for just a moment before stepping through it and fully into the room. She walked over to bed to hand Maria the syrup. Natasha sat down on the edge of the bed next to where Nina was and smiled at her.

“Wanna check your temperature?”

Nina didn’t look convinced but she shuffled closer to her and put her head down in her lap. Natasha tensed a little but shook it off and poked the girl gently. Maria watched them. She poured the syrup for Nina to take and let her sit up just enough for her to drink it. As soon as that was done, she dropped back into Natasha’s lap.

“Mama hot,” Nina murmured.

Natasha looked at Maria, who still looked a little out of it. Her eyes were still quite glassy too. Natasha gave her the thermometer with a raised eyebrow. Maria would laugh at it if she felt any better. She took it and turned it on before fixing it in place and waiting. Nina would be more inclined to not make a fuss about taking her temperature after this; not that Maria was terribly keen on finding out just how high her own was. It beeped a little while later and she groaned at the number. That wasn’t good. She gave it back to Natasha, who frowned at the numbers before they disappeared again.

“Your turn,” she told Nina.

Nina raised her arm and Natasha chuckled at the sight. She put the thermometer in place and let Nina put her arm back down so it could do its thing.

“Any idea what you want for breakfast?”

Nina shook her head. Maria didn’t know either. She wanted a coffee but that wouldn’t be a good idea right now. Maybe some tea would be better. That wasn’t food though and she didn’t feel like eating anything.

“How about some cereals?”

“Hard,” Nina argued.

“Not if you let them soak in the milk. I saw some bananas we can put in.”

The beeping of the thermometer interrupted the discussion and Nina fished it out from under her shirt to give it to Natasha, who immediately handed it to Maria. Maria looked at it, relieved to see her temperature down a little from the previous day.

“We’ll keep an eye on it today but her fever’s going down. Finally.”

“And yours is going up,” Natasha added.

Maria didn’t even argue that. She was going to be close to useless if it got any worse. She didn’t like it. At least Natasha was here to help. She was really grateful. It was nice not to have to worry about pushing through feeling miserable to look after Nina by herself. She could but this was a much better alternative. Especially considering how bad she was currently feeling. If she got lucky, maybe she could stay in bed and sleep some more. That meant leaving Natasha to look after Nina by herself though. She knew Natasha was capable of it and Nina probably wouldn’t mind too much, but the girl was still sick and it wasn’t fair to push all of that onto Natasha.

“How about breakfast, and some tea?” Natasha asked.

“You read my mind,” Maria said.

“Hungry,” Nina supplied helpfully.

Natasha smiled at her. It was unanimous then. Nina would have to let her up for that though. She put her hand on the girl’s shoulder and glanced back at Maria.

“If you feel up to it, you can come and help me.”

Nina looked back at Maria, who nodded tiredly, and then smiled up at Natasha with a nod of her own. The girl sat up and raised her arms and Natasha laughed softly. She got up and then picked Nina up too. She clung to her and pressed her forehead against Natasha’s cheek. Natasha held her securely. She waited for Maria’s reaction and then left when the other woman smiled at them. She'd just needed to be sure she wasn't overstepping. Natasha made her way to the kitchen and let Nina pick her breakfast. She let her down once the girl had her box of fruit loops so she could focus on finding something for Maria. Natasha wasn't really convinced by any of the options so she focused on starting on the tea instead. Once the water was boiling, she helped Nina get a bowl and the milk. Nina climbed into her chair and insisted on doing the rest herself. She poured herself a generous amount of fruit loops, followed by enough milk to almost overflow the bowl. At least her appetite seemed to be coming back, even if her throat was still bothering her. Natasha went back to debating her options for breakfast for Maria, as well as herself. Maria looked absolutely exhausted so she wanted to find something that was easy to eat and didn't require too much energy, nor time to finish.

"You make pannies for mama?"

Natasha turned to look at Nina, tilting her head in visible confusion. She'd never heard of pannies before and had no idea what those were even supposed to be. Nina dangled her feet under the table and shoved her spoon into her mountain of cereals, drowning the fruit loops in milk until they got soggy.

"Pannies," she repeated.

"I don't think I know how to make those," Natasha said.

"Oh."

Nina looked entirely disappointed by that and Natasha still didn't know what they were talking about. The water for the tea finished boiling and she turned her attention back to it, finding a cup to pour the water into before adding a tea bag. She eventually settled on just preparing some toast for Maria, with chocolate spread on it when Nina insisted. It was quite cute, and Nina was convinced it would make her mother feel better. Natasha could hardly argue with that. Natasha brought the plate with the toast as well as the cup of tea to Maria so she could have breakfast without needing to get out of bed. She needed the rest and Natasha felt semi-confident that she could occupy Nina by herself for a few hours without needing her. Hopefully without panicking too. Maria looked just about ready to fall back asleep when Natasha entered the room. Natasha rounded the bed to leave the cup on Maria's nightstand before handing her the plate. Maria smiled at her.

"The chocolate wasn't my idea," Natasha said with a small smile of her own.

Maria just hummed and thanked her quietly. Nina loved the stuff. As a result, Maria had developed a bit of a sweet tooth herself. She wouldn't eat this every morning but it was nice, especially when she got to stay in and spend her morning with her daughter.

"She's eating?"

"Drowned a mountain of fruit loops," Natasha nodded.

"That's good. She hasn't been very hungry since getting sick."

"And you? I didn't find a lot of options so I hope this is enough."

Maria smiled at her and nodded. She wasn't feeling up to eating much but she knew she needed to eat at least a little bit. She was just exhausted. The toast would be enough for now. They had some smaller things left in the fridge, as well as some fruits she could eat throughout the day.

"Not hungry but I'll eat what I can," Maria assured.

"Okay. Nina suggested pannies?"

"Pancakes," Maria clarified.

Natasha mumbled a quiet " _oh_ ". That made sense. She didn't know how to make them though and Maria probably deserved a lot better than Natasha wrecking her kitchen in an attempt to make them. Maybe she could find some pre-made ones that she could just heat up. She could do that without setting fire to anything. Maria chuckled quietly and took a bite from her toast, amused.

"I'll let you rest. I can look after Nina today so you can get more sleep."

"Are you sure? You don't have to."

"It's okay. We'll manage. I'll come check on you later and you can tell me if you need anything?"

"Thank you."

Natasha smiled at her and left the room again. Maria watched her go. This was a lot more than Natasha needed to do and she would need to find a way to repay her in the future. She was grateful. Normally, she wouldn't be able to stay in bed and sleep it off because she had to look after Nina and make sure she was getting better. She didn't have time to worry about herself. It was nice to get a break like this so she could do just that, for once. She would thank Fury for sending Natasha in the first place but he would never let her hear the end of it.

Nina was still drowning her fruit loops when Natasha came back. She prepared some toast for herself and then sat with the girl. Nina waved at her but then crunched up her little face in concentration.

"Why is you here so early?"

"I stayed the night," Natasha smiled. "I thought your mum could use an extra pair of hands to help out."

"Mama tired," Nina nodded.

"She is. She's sick so she'll need a lot of sleep. So how about we let her rest today and we do stuff together?"

Nina nodded again and finally put a spoon full of cereals in her mouth. Natasha was glad she didn't mind. Nina wasn't back to her usual self quite yet but she was doing much better than she had the day before. It wouldn't be as exhausting to look after her as it had been when Natasha had babysat her either. They would be fine. She just really wanted to let Maria rest and give her a chance to recover without having to worry about Nina. The girl would be fine. Natasha was going to make sure she'd take her meds and grab a nap, and she'd keep an eye on her temperature too. If anything came up, she would let her know but she doubted it. Nina was recovering well after all.

They finished breakfast slowly and Natasha made some tea for the two of them while Nina went to the couch. Natasha did the washing up during the time it took the water to boil. She stayed in the kitchen to finish the tea but kept an eye on Nina from there. The girl had grabbed the TV remote and was looking for cartoons to watch. She bounced once when she found one she liked and let the remote fall onto the couch next to her. Natasha joined her with two cups of hot tea and put them down on the coffee table to drink later. It was still far too hot to drink now, especially for Nina. The girl came to snuggle into Natasha's side and Natasha, for once, was surprised when she didn't tense up or freak out. She could feel the beginning of her panic itch beneath her skin but it was barely there at all. She was glad. Now wasn't the time for that. It was still unexpected though but perhaps that just meant that she was finally starting to get over it. She was familiar enough with Nina now and she imaged it helped a fair deal that she was Maria's kid and not just another random child who'd grown attached to her. This was good.

The two of them watched cartoons for an hour. Natasha had made sure that Nina had drunk her tea once it was cooled down enough, and she'd gotten up once to get Nina her medicine. She took the commercial break that followed the latest cartoon to check up on Maria. She was quiet when she opened the door and poked her head inside. The TV wasn't loud by any means but she didn't want to disturb Maria. Maria was fast asleep, curled up under the blanket. Natasha smiled a little at the sight and then left again quickly and quietly. She definitely felt like she was intruding. Nina had gotten up and come to join her but Natasha winked at her and made her turn right back around.

"She's asleep," she told the girl. "Can you be really quiet?"

Nina nodded with big eyes but then coughed a little. She looked up at Natasha, upset that her cough had betrayed her, but Natasha just smiled at her. She knew just what to do to cheer her up.

"Okay. I have a very important job for you. It's super secret."

Nina's eyes widened further and she rolled on the balls of her feet, excited again. Natasha led her to the kitchen and grabbed a plate. She took one of the bananas and cut it into slices that she left on the plate. Nina watched her like a hawk the whole time, coughing a couple more times. The cough syrup was still in the bedroom so she would need to grab that. She presented the plate to Nina when she was done and threw out the peel.

"This is a special delivery for your mum, but she can't know it came from us. I'm gonna need you to sneak into the bedroom as quietly as you can and leave this on the nightstand. Think you're up for the job?"

Nina accepted the plate with big eyes and then put on her best determined face. She walked back to the bedroom door and very carefully opened it while balancing the plate. She took a deep breath and held it before tiptoeing into the room. Maria hadn't woken up yet and she didn't stir at all. Nina put the plate down as carefully as she managed to and then ran back out of the room, giggling as soon as she saw Natasha. Natasha grinned at her and knelt down so they could high-five.

"That's a job well done. I think this deserves more cartoons."

Nina beamed at her and ran to the couch to climb back onto it and find more cartoons to watch. She didn't like the ones they had stopped on so she found another channel that aired the ones they had watched before. Natasha took the time to go get the cough syrup for her. She came back with it without waking Maria and got it ready for Nina. Nina, however, wasn't quite as willing to take it as she had been after just waking up. She pushed Natasha's hand away every time she tried to get close with it and Natasha gave her a look. Nina gave it right back. She got that from her mother.

"You already took some this morning. It'll help with the coughing and your throat not feeling well."

"It's yucky!" Nina complained.

"All the bravest people take yucky-tasting medicine so they can feel better. Like your mum, and Nick. I think you're brave enough to take it."

Nina narrowed her eyes at her and Natasha had to bite back a smile. That just looked adorable on her little face. She was considering her words though and huffed eventually. Natasha had won. Nina took it the next time Natasha offered it and she downed the whole thing in one go. She did make a face afterwards but Natasha smiled at her and the pouting didn't last long.

Nina ended up climbing into Natasha's lap for a nap an hour later. Natasha turned off the TV to let her sleep and got comfortable on the couch. She hadn't expected to need to negotiate with a four year old today. Actually, she hadn't expected to be doing any of this, possibly ever. Caring wasn't her strong suite. The door to the bedroom opened half an hour later and Natasha looked up to find Maria leaning against the door frame. She still looked really tired and exhausted. She smiled at the sight of Nina napping in Natasha's arms once again. She took a few steps closer but didn't come near enough to sit with them. She was going to go back to sleep. She'd just needed the bathroom.

"How are you two holding up?"

"She's taken all of her meds and she finished her breakfast. I think we're doing alright."

"I'm glad... Thanks for the banana."

"It was a team effort," Natasha smiled.

Maria returned it and then went to the bathroom. Natasha was a little reassured by the fact that Maria's eyes had been less glassy. More sleep and meds should do the trick. Natasha didn't know how long these things usually lasted for, nor how Maria normally handled being sick, but she was hopeful that it wouldn't last much longer. Maybe another day, for both Hills. Natasha could stay that long and help out. She was doing much better than she had thought she might and she was glad Maria had accepted her help at all. Maria passed by again to go back to sleep. Natasha would make her another tea later.

Nina slept for another hour and they spent the rest of the afternoon drawing in front of the TV. Natasha was fairly certain the girl wasn't normally allowed this much time watching TV but exceptions needed to be made. Nina couldn't keep her focus on one thing for too long. She was feeling better but she wasn't yet well enough. Drawing was tiring her out too but Natasha didn't think that was such a bad thing. Quite the opposite. Nina hadn't been sleeping well so any additional rest and power naps would be a good thing. Nina fell asleep drawing an hour before dinner time and Natasha removed the pencil she was still holding and then picked her up to let her sleep on the couch. She could get started on dinner in a bit. She was planning on more soup for all of them. Nina should be good to eat normally again in the next days but Natasha wasn't up for making multiple meals. She could only do so much in the kitchen and Maria was out for the count as far as backup went. Soup would have to do.

By the time dinner was ready, Nina was still napping. Natasha decided to take the first bowl of soup to Maria. She opened the door and found Maria sitting up with her mostly cold tea in her hand. She'd made her another cup but that had been hours ago. Natasha put the bowl on the nightstand and took the cup from Maria so she could rinse it and make her more tea.

"How's the temperature?"

"Still too high but it's getting better, slowly."

"That's good."

Maria nodded and thanked her for the soup. She was still aching all over and still struggled focusing a bit but she felt slightly better than she had the previous night, and the entirety of the day. Natasha left again. She put the cup in the dishwasher and set more water to boil before going to wake Nina so she could eat too. The girl woke up with a yawn and rubbed her eyes. Natasha put her bowl of soup on the table and made sure she went to wash her hands before coming to eat. The water was done boiling just as Nina came back, and Natasha finished preparing the cup of tea for Maria. She brought it to her and then returned to eat with Nina. So far, the day had gone over mostly quietly, largely due to both Hills spending the majority of it asleep. Natasha didn't mind. At least they were starting to feel better. Nina ate all of her soup, as did Natasha, and then the redhead cleaned up. Nina was still sleepy and Natasha doubted that trying to keep her awake so she wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night would do anyone any good.

"Go brush your teeth and then it's back to bed with you."

Nina went to the bathroom without argument. Natasha followed her to supervise the brushing of her teeth. At least she didn't need to get changed. Nina had spent the whole day in her pajamas after all. Natasha considered trying to convince her to sleep in her own bed but Nina just went straight for Maria's bedroom once she was done brushing. Maria didn't seem to mind. In fact, she had fully expected that. She let Nina cuddle into her side and wrapped an arm around her. Natasha leaned against the door frame, not entirely sure what to do with herself. Maria watched her for a few moments and then spoke up quietly.

"We'll be okay from here on. I'm feeling a little better and Nina seems to just be tired now. You don't have to stay again."

Natasha wanted to ask whether Maria was sure about this. She wouldn't mind staying. Maria had been out all day and Natasha wasn't so sure that she'd be well enough the next day. But Maria was stubborn and Natasha had been here long enough already. She still wasn't sure how she'd even managed this long.

"Okay. But call if you need a hand."

"I will. Thank you, Natasha."

Natasha nodded and gave her a brief smile. She stepped into the room to grab Maria's soup bowl as well as the empty cup. She'd at least finish cleaning before leaving. Maria didn't thank her again but she reached out to grasp her wrist loosely. Her skin was still quite a bit warmer than Natasha's but she wasn't as hot anymore as she had been the previous evening. Natasha was glad for it. The touch froze her in place though and they looked at each other for a few moments before Maria released her again. Natasha stood still for another second and then left the room. She did the rest of the dishes and then grabbed her things to leave. She closed the door behind her quietly and then made her way out of the apartment building and back to the Triskelion. The last two days had been quite a ride. She'd stay in D.C. just in case Maria did end up calling her back. It would be much faster than having to come down from the Helicarrier.


	9. Chapter 9

Maria was back at work a few days later. Nina had fully recovered from her cold and Maria herself was feeling more than well enough to work. A headache remained but her fever was gone and she was feeling much better. She'd texted Natasha once to thank her for her help and reassure her that she wouldn't need to come back for more. Maria had managed fine after those first two days. She was glad to be back at work too. While she didn't mind being away from work and taking actual time off, exclusively because of Nina, her work was still one of the most important things in her life. Having to look after Nina while she was sick was always tiring, both mentally and physically, so Natasha's aid had been especially welcome. It had helped that she'd allowed her time to rest herself. There were things she wanted to talk to her about now more than ever but she had yet to find a good time for it. Natasha was busy at the moment and Maria had a pile of paperwork to get through herself. That was one of the downsides to being away, not that she minded all that much.

Maria spent the next days watching Natasha move about. She wasn't sure how to breach the topic of conversation yet and she had too much on her mind to be able to focus on the parts she thought were important. Natasha's stay and assistance during those two days had made her think quite a lot. It was about time they talked. Hopefully they were both going to be less occupied with work soon so that they could do just that.

* * *

She got her wish just a couple of days later. Natasha had some files to drop off in Maria's office and Maria finally took the chance to say something. Except Natasha beat her to the punch. She had noticed Maria watching her and had done the same thing. At first it had just been to make sure she was well enough to be at work but then she had just continued to look her way. She wasn't entirely sure what that was about; neither regarding herself, nor Maria.

"Hey. Do you know why Fury asked me to come to you that first time?"

Maria hadn't expected that question and she shook her head briefly, dropping her pen. She didn't, and it still bothered her. Fury wasn't always the sharing type but she really wanted to know what had possessed him to get involved like this; and why he had involved Natasha of all people.

"Not specifically," Maria said, making a face. "He wouldn't tell me. Told me to figure it out myself or not worry about it. Why, what did he tell you?"

"That you need someone you can trust and talk to," Natasha replied.

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose. That sounded just like something Fury would say. He loved to get involved in things he didn't need to be a part of. Natasha watched her reaction closely. They had never really spoken about this before. Natasha hadn't shared her initial reluctance to be a part of this with Maria. It was too late for any of that now but it hadn't seemed important enough back then either.

"He just loves to meddle, doesn't he?"

Natasha cracked a grin at that. He most definitely did, and never without a good reason. It worked too. That was the worst part of it. So far it had gone exactly like Fury had likely planned it, down to the two of them becoming friends. Maria trusted her to help and Natasha hadn't once declined a request to come visit. Fury was good at this. And while Natasha was certainly doing better around Nina, she didn't feel any closer to having her issues resolved. The root of it ran too deeply for that.

"We should talk," Maria finally said. "All cards on the table... Yours, and mine."

Natasha paused for a moment and took in the words and their meaning. She watched Maria watch her and then eventually nodded. It was about time they did. Natasha had a lot of questions and she knew the same counted for Maria. Neither one of them had ever asked them outside of Natasha's initial questions on her first visit.

"Come by after work?"

Maria was stuck in her office for a few more hours that day anyway, and likely another day or two on board the Helicarrier in general. Nina was staying with Mrs. Jefferson for the time being. Nina loved her and she was great with the girl, even when she got upset that Maria couldn't be home for bedtime. At least she never held it against Maria either. She was lucky like that. Natasha had nothing to add and left the office again, her mind reeling. _All cards on the table_. This was what she had wanted this whole time, but was she really ready to talk about her own problems? Natasha supposed she just had to be.

* * *

Several hours later, when Natasha had long since finished working on the last of her paperwork and she was sure that Maria could at least reasonably spare the time for a long overdue conversation, Natasha made her way back to Maria's office. She knocked five times, a habit she had started developing since coming to visit at her apartment more frequently. Maria knew it was her right away and called her in before requesting for her to close the door again behind her. This conversation was private after all. It would have been better to move it to one of their quarters but Maria enjoyed enough privacy in her office.

"Hey."

"Hey. Let's sit," Maria said, indicating the couch.

She got up from her chair to sit down on it just as Natasha did. Natasha wasn't really sure where to start. She had so many questions she wanted answers to but Maria was her friend and just asking all of them didn't feel right to her. She shuffled briefly to sit more comfortably and leaned against the back of the couch, facing Maria.

"Where do you want to start then?"

"We already talked about why Fury involved you for my sake. Why did he involve _you_? He could have chosen someone else, like Barton. Why did he pick you?"

Natasha was honestly surprised Maria had never asked her this before. She smiled momentarily and moved her arm so she could rest her head on her hand. Had she asked that a few months ago, Natasha wouldn't have answered her. The question itself was fair enough though. Natasha had figured out the reason fairly quickly and she still hadn't decided whether to be grateful for the opportunity or livid that he'd try anything. Fury made her feel like that often, now that she thought about it.

"He's trying to help me deal with some issues. He doesn't know all the details and I've no intention of telling him either. But I guess he knows enough to have taken a chance with this. He saw an opportunity to get us both of our asses."

"Issues?"

"People like Nina make me deeply uncomfortable."

Maria wasn't surprised to hear that. She had seen Natasha tense often enough around Nina. She had noticed the way her breathing became too shallow and how her eyes flicked to the nearest escape route. It hadn't happened so much in weeks now but at the start, it had been frequent enough.

"You panic when you're around her," Maria nodded. "Or at least you used to."

Natasha just nodded. She knew Maria had noticed. Maria paid attention. At first she had thought it was only because Maria distrusted her but she'd long since learned that it was just a trait the other woman possessed, amplified by her instincts as a mother.

"Yes. Genuinely sweet and kind people trigger all kinds of fight or flight responses in me. It's much worse when they're as small as Nina."

"Why?"

Natasha didn't answer right away. She had never told anyone about this. Clint knew some of it but not any of the details. This was weird. Maria waited patiently, not pushing for a response. Natasha didn't owe her one, as far as she was concerned. But she did want to know, and she wanted to be on an even playing field. If she was going to share how Nina had come to be, it was only fair that Natasha shared why she was, or rather had been, so anxious around her daughter. Natasha wet her lips and stared out the window for a few more moments, trying to sort her thoughts.

"There weren't any kind girls in the Red Room. We were raised to be emotionless. Some of the girls, they struggled. They'd been happy once, and they couldn't adapt to what the Red Room wanted us to be. They tried to make friends with the others. Our headmistress didn't make exceptions and the girls got punished when she found out. Friends are a liability. Emotions are dangerous. That's what we were told. It was every girl for herself. But sometimes... sometimes a girl would try it. We knew better then, and we all knew it was a test. A trap. Some girls fell for it. They couldn't be alone like that. We were living so close together, raised as sisters, but never friends. We were used against each other to root out the weakest links. If they got lucky, they learned their lesson. Some didn't survive the punishments," Natasha said slowly.

She didn't enjoy remembering some of these things, no matter how useful most lessons from the Red Room had been in keeping her alive. Maria listened closely, paying attention to every word and each shift in Natasha's expression. This wasn't easy for her, no matter how much she tried to appear unaffected. Natasha was so good at adapting and hiding her true self that it was sometimes all too easy to forget that she had grown up in trauma. Maria didn't know everything the Red Room had done to her, and Natasha had never shared more than had been strictly necessary. It was difficult to imagine a life like that. Natasha was still so young; Maria sometimes forgot she'd been in this life for so long already.

"Madam B didn't compromise. We were raised to kill each other; to find the girls with the most potential. The ones who were going to be Black Widows. Those lessons are still deeply ingrained in my brain, in my body. We weren't that much older than Nina. I know she's just a kid who doesn't want to hurt anyone but there are some things that are so deeply rooted in me that I can't just shut them out. She's a great kid. I've gotten better, but sometimes she catches me off guard and I panic all over again. I've had years to get used to Clint's kids. Nina was a crash course."

Maria watched her carefully. She could see how difficult it was for Natasha to share this with her, and it wasn't any easier to hear it for Maria. She hadn't had the best circumstances growing up herself and she knew things were hardly comparable, but Maria had found her way out when she'd turned eighteen. Natasha hadn't been so lucky. Their childhoods had both been a mess but Maria thought that Natasha had definitely had it harder than her. She hadn't learned to kill while still a child. Maria had had friends growing up. It must have been awfully lonely for Natasha.

"Well, you're doing great," Maria offered with a smile. "And Nina adores you."

Natasha smiled. She was grateful for that. She was also grateful that Maria had opted against asking more questions about the Red Room, and had focused solely on how Natasha was doing with Nina. She knew she'd gotten much better with the girl, both in general and just being around her. It was nice to hear it from Maria too though. Natasha fell quiet, unsure what to say or do. She wasn't used to sharing things about the Red Room, about her past. She'd told Clint a few things but that had always been the extent of it. Fury had never pried more than he needed to either. She ended up just watching Maria wordlessly. Maria sighed. It was her turn to share now, except she had no idea where to start. Just like Natasha wasn't used to sharing things about herself, Maria only had a couple of people in her life who knew the whole story behind Nina. Adding a third person to this felt strange. Natasha already knew about Nina so it wasn't like she had to spill the biggest secret of her life. Still, she had never needed to actually _explain_ it before. This was new to her. She pinched the bridge of her nose for a moment and then shifted on the couch to rest her arm along the back of it.

"Nina was an accident. A lab accident, to be specific. One of our labs was keeping alien DNA samples to study. I was down there a few times to oversee the experiments and get updates on any new information that may have come up. One day, a small explosion happened in the lab. The vials flew everywhere and shattered. I was in the way of one and got cut by the glass. Some of the content of the vial entered my bloodstream through the cuts. The scientists present immediately cleared the lab and did a check up on me when we realized I'd gotten hurt. Everything was fine. There was nothing out of the ordinary then."

Maria paused for a moment to collect her thoughts and Natasha waited it out. She had so many questions already and Maria had only just started to talk. Between the accident and the fact that they'd kept actual alien DNA, Natasha wasn't sure which part she was more stuck on. Probably the aliens. But those questions and remarks would have to wait. Maria had let her explain at her own pace, she wasn't going to rush Maria in return.

"I realized something was wrong after a couple of weeks. I was feeling really weak and ill and couldn't explain why. Fury insisted on another test. They didn't notice the pregnancy at first but the head scientist decided to run a test for it, just in case. It came back positive. There was no way it was a natural pregnancy so that left that DNA sample as the only possible cause. It shouldn't even have been possible, and, honestly, I'm still not sure how it was. All we could guess was that it was likely some kind of unintended side effect of the sample having entered my bloodstream. We never figured it out and nobody was interested in running an experiment on that. Fury and I talked a lot about what to do. I didn't want to keep her. There were too many unknowns. We had no idea whether she'd be half alien or healthy, or if it would even play out like a normal pregnancy. There were going to be tests and experiments... And let's face it, I'm not exactly in a good spot to be a mother. I was never planning to be either."

"What made you change your mind?" Natasha asked when Maria's pause ran a little longer than the last one.

Maria shook her head. She couldn't explain it. She had no idea how to even begin trying to. It had been risky and maybe she should never have decided to keep that baby in the first place, but Maria wouldn't change it for anything in the world. She loved Nina more than anything. She had never regretted her decision.

"It's... complicated. There was a feeling, nothing more. Not anything maternal, I don't think, but... a pull," she answered. "I told Fury I was going to keep her and he took the head scientist to the side to talk to her. I needed a doctor and I couldn't exactly go to a regular one, not with Nina being part alien. Everyone else from that lab who had heard about the development was told the pregnancy had been terminated due to health risks. We weren't willing to take the risk of any of them wanting to do experiments on Nina."

"How did you manage to hide it?"

"I didn't start showing until I was seven months in," Maria chuckled softly.

Natasha needed a few moments to completely take all of that in. Maria had gotten pregnant over some weird lab accident. Nina was part alien. None of this made any sense. Natasha felt a rare headache incoming. She couldn't even begin to imagine how weird this whole affair must have been for Maria then. It probably still was, at least sometimes. But Maria was fine and Nina was a perfectly healthy child so it stood to reason that Maria, as per usual, had managed just fine. She was good at that. Natasha was impressed. She often was but this was something else altogether. Having a child was one thing but having one through circumstances such as this? Natasha still struggled to wrap her head around it.

"Nina is part alien then? That's..."

"Crazy? Tell me about it," Maria smiled. "I forget sometimes. She has no alien features whatsoever; no powers, nothing. She just looks like me. She's perfectly normal."

"I was wondering how it is that she looks exactly like you. She's a tiny Maria Hill."

"She is. The doc guessed it might be because of the circumstances. It could have turned out every which way. She could have looked like whatever the alien race looks like, or part that, part me. We had no idea."

Natasha nodded absently. This really was crazy. She was curious about those alien DNA samples, and what the races might look like, or where they came from. And where the samples had come from in the first place. She'd had no idea aliens even existed, let alone had been to Earth. At least, she suspected that must have been the case. She doubted they'd gotten those samples out of thin air. Maria watched her think and gave her time to filter through the information. She felt nervous. Natasha was the first person she'd ever told about this and she felt strangely vulnerable as a result. Natasha looked up at her when she realized she'd drifted off a little and gently touched Maria's wrist resting on the back of the couch. Maria's eyes snapped to Natasha's and the redhead offered her a warm smile. She knew this hadn't been easy for Maria. They had both just put themselves out there with something deeply personal. Natasha was grateful. Maria returned the smile. Her nerves were unnecessary. Natasha would never use any of this against her and she knew it. It wasn't just because she adored Nina either. They were friends now, and while that didn't always mean something to others, Maria knew it was a big deal to Natasha.

"Does she ever ask about her father?" Natasha asked softly.

Maria nodded a couple of times. Nina hadn't asked often yet. She was mostly still too small to really understand that there should be one, or at least another parent. She had no concept of single mothers or any parent raising a child on their own. She didn't know better yet, for which Maria was inherently grateful because she hadn't yet figured out how to explain this to her.

"She has, a few times. I don't think she remembers most of it, or maybe she's just not bothered by it. But she'll be old enough to understand soon and I can't avoid the topic forever. I just hope by then I'll have a vague idea of what to actually tell her. It's so much easier to just brush off other adults."

Natasha was once again reminded of the fact that Maria had done this on her own this whole time. She had the neighbors to help, of course, but they weren't raising Nina. It was impressive how well Maria managed with so few other people to count on. Then again, that was just the way Maria was. Natasha smiled briefly and removed her fingers from Maria's wrist, letting them rest close to her hand.

"You're an amazing mother."

Maria huffed a laugh and shook her head. She appreciated Natasha's words and was genuinely touched by them, but she didn't feel amazing at all. Balancing work with her life at home wasn't always easy and she often felt like she wasn't doing as well as she could be. She was just trying her best not to let her daughter down. Maria wasn't sure she always managed that. Juggling both of these lives while keeping each part hidden from the other was difficult and tiring. Some days she felt like she might be going insane. She was grateful to have someone like Natasha in her life now, who was part of both those lives and who she could talk to about either whenever she needed.

"I just don't want to let her down."

Natasha nodded. She understood that but she didn't think Maria was doing anything wrong. Not that Natasha would really know anything about that but as long as Nina was happy, Maria had to be doing things right.

"You're not. She adores you. And if you need more help, you know you can count on me."

Maria smiled at her and touched her fingers to Natasha's in a silent thanks. She really was lucky that Fury had decided to bring Natasha into this. She made this a little easier, just by knowing. She was also glad that Natasha was so willing to help, despite her own issues surfacing more often around Nina. Natasha had never needed to come back and push through them but she had and it had helped Maria out a lot, especially when she'd been sick or unable to spend time at home. Natasha's schedule was a little more flexible than her own and with Fury knowing, it was easy for her to be available when Maria needed her.

"But you know I have to ask," Natasha continued.

Maria waited, a smile tugging at her lips. She had a good idea what was going to follow this, and they both knew that Maria wouldn't answer her question.

"Aliens?"

"That's classified," Maria mused.

Natasha had fully expected that but she had still needed to ask. Of course she wouldn't get an answer. She chuckled quietly and glanced at their fingers still touching on the back of the couch. Maria was warm. Maria tapped her finger against hers to get her attention and Natasha wasn't entirely prepared for the warm smile she was greeted with.

"Thank you."

Maria didn't elaborate but Natasha didn't need her to either. It was a thanks for sharing and listening, and accepting, as well as everything that had come before this conversation. Natasha smiled at her and nodded once. She was grateful too, that Maria trusted her enough with all this. It was no longer just work, or even Nina. Maria had just trusted her with something just as important as her daughter and Natasha planned to make sure that trust wasn't misplaced.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say a big thank you to all you readers and commenters out there. Seeing the feedback this is getting is making me exceptionally happy and I'm glad you're all enjoying the story <3

They didn’t get a chance to really talk more about any of it, not that there was any actual need to. Maria was away on a mission, something that didn’t happen too often anymore these days, but her presence had been needed. She’d left with her team a couple of days after her conversation with Natasha. It was weird to be away but it was just as weird for Natasha to know Maria wasn’t on the carrier or at HQ. The mission was supposed to be an easy one though so Natasha wasn’t terribly worried. Not that she would be anyway. Maria was a good agent. She hadn’t told her much about the mission and Natasha had no idea why exactly Maria had needed to go either. It shouldn’t take longer than a day and Maria hadn’t even asked her to look after Nina in the meantime. She’d tasked one of the neighbors with it, who had been more than happy to accept.

Natasha waited. Maria was scheduled to be back by now but her Quinjet hadn’t arrived back on the carrier yet and Fury didn’t have any news either. The latter was a lot more troubling than anything else. If Fury didn’t know, then it was possible communications had been cut. Maria’s team was late and Natasha knew that Maria would never miss a check in, no matter how trivial it might be. Her own phone didn’t have any messages either, though she wasn’t surprised by that. If they couldn’t contact SHIELD, they wouldn’t try contacting anyone else. Something had happened. The question was just how bad was it. Natasha didn’t want to imagine the worst, especially not with Maria in charge of the team. If things had gone FUBAR, Maria would get them out of it. So Natasha waited on the flight deck, either for news or for the jet carrying Maria’s team. Whichever came first. She didn’t have anything better to do anyway.

* * *

Natasha had been here for three hours now. The team had definitely missed all check ins since that morning and nobody had picked up their Quinjet or radio signals. Natasha still refused to think the worst but she decided to cut her wait short. It was evening by now and she wasn’t sure Maria’s neighbor could babysit Nina for the night. She didn’t want them to worry either. That could well lead to questions that Maria wasn’t ready to answer yet and if Natasha could prevent them from coming up, she would try. Nina was probably missing her mother too and part of her hoped that her own presence could hold her over for a little longer. Maria would be back soon. She had to be.

Natasha grabbed a flight down to D.C. and made her way to Maria’s apartment building. She knew the way by heart at this point. She took the elevator up and tried her luck at Mrs Jefferson’s apartment. Hopefully Nina was with her. Otherwise she would just have to try everyone until she found who was looking after the girl. The door opened a few moments later and Natasha could see Nina sitting on the couch inside from where she stood. Nina peaked up at the newcomer and came running right away. Mrs Jefferson smiled at Natasha. It was obvious she had expected Maria. They’d run into each other a few times now so Natasha was a familiar enough face for the old lady to recognize her. Nina looked a little upset at not seeing her mother but she was happy that Natasha was here.

“Maria is a little delayed. I wanted to come pick this little one up already,” Natasha said, smiling at the girl currently hugging her legs.

Mrs Jefferson nodded and smiled at her again. Nina had been quiet during the afternoon. It would be good for her to be back in her own home.

“Thank you, dearie. I hope she won’t be too much longer. I do believe someone is missing her.”

Natasha gave her a brief smile and then took Nina in her arms to carry her. Nina giggled quietly and hugged herself to Natasha. They left and made their way to Maria’s apartment. Natasha still had a spare key so she opened the door and let Nina down. It was just about time for dinner and Mrs Jefferson hadn’t mentioned anything so Natasha assumed the girl hadn’t eaten yet. Nina stayed by Natasha’s side as she inspected the fridge for food. Nina tugged at her shirt to get her attention, quiet again.

“Tasha?”

Natasha turned her attention to Nina and closed the fridge again for the time being. She would probably just make pasta anyway. She reached out to tuck some of Nina’s hair behind her ear and knelt down in front of her.

“Yes?”

“When mama come home?”

Natasha didn’t know how to answer that. She didn’t want to lie to her but she couldn’t tell her that she didn’t know either. If worst came to worst it was possible Maria wasn’t coming back at all but that wasn’t an acceptable option in Natasha’s book. Maria was fine. She was always fine. Nina looked upset enough already so Natasha opted for a white lie.

“She’ll be back soon. She’s being held up a little right now because she’s being a superhero.”

That did nothing to cheer Nina up or distract her. Natasha wasn’t ready to deal with any tears today though. She was nervous enough already without needing to calm down a four year old.

“How about we have dinner and then I’ll read you a story?”

“You stay?”

“Promise,” Natasha smiled.

Nina hesitated but then nodded and she lifted her arms so Natasha would pick her up again. She did just that and they raided the pantry in search of pasta. It couldn’t just be any kind of pasta. Nina wanted spaghetti and Natasha wasn’t interested in arguing that. It was just unfortunate that the remainder of spaghetti was in the very back of the pantry which resulted in a lot of things needing to be moved to reach it. Natasha made a mess of it on purpose, trying to cheer up Nina. It worked. The girl giggled at the heap of boxes and bags that Natasha had moved all over the kitchen. Natasha handed her the pack of spaghetti when she finally reached it and let her have one to eat while she found a pot for the rest. She filled it with water, leaving Nina to hold onto her with all of her limbs wrapped around her. Natasha didn’t mind. She put the pot on the stove, finished the rest of the preparations, and then let Nina dump all of the spaghetti into the water.

“Sauce?”

“Ketchup!” Nina decided.

“Ketchup it is.”

That also meant less work regarding dinner which was always a good thing. They kept an eye on the pasta together. Nina was still clinging to her like a koala and the kitchen was still a big mess. That could wait until later. Natasha convinced Nina to let go of her when the pasta was just about ready and the girl went to wash her hands before coming to grab her plate. Natasha set the table and then took care of the food, as well as their drinks. She brought the bottle of ketchup over and was glad to see that Nina looked a little more excited now. Dinner was hopefully going to improve her mood further. Nina was generous with the amount of ketchup she wanted and Natasha definitely wasn’t doing anything to help that. She stopped when Nina asked her to and then put some on her own plate. Even without actual tomato sauce, Nina still managed to make a bit of a mess. It wasn’t too bad but her shirt ended up with several ketchup stains on it. They ate and Nina told Natasha about her day with Mrs Jefferson when she asked about it. She didn’t like seeing Nina so quiet. Talking helped and the girl’s mood improved further as she recalled what she’d done that day. There had been a lot of cartoons and drawing. Natasha smiled fondly. Nina really loved to draw. They could probably do a little of that before Nina needed to get ready for bed. They finished eating a little while later and Natasha cleared the table. She’d do the dishes later.

“Do you want to draw more?”

Nina sat up a little straighter and nodded eagerly. Natasha smiled. That was more like it. She told her to grab her things and Nina wiggled off her chair before she ran to her room to bring over her drawing supplies. It reminded Natasha a little of the first time they’d met. She took the chance to check her phone for any missed calls or messages but, as expected, there weren’t any. She decided to text Maria anyway, just to let her know she was with Nina and didn’t need to worry about the girl. Nina came back just as she sent the message, her arms full of papers and colored pencils. She dropped them on the coffee table and Natasha joined her there so they could draw together. Nina drew her mother, unsurprisingly, and Natasha helped her. She knew things weren’t always easy for Maria, with needing to balance her life so drastically, but it also wasn’t the first time she realized it was just as difficult for Nina. Maria was gone days at a time sometimes and Natasha wasn’t sure Nina was old enough to understand why. Nina didn’t ask about Maria again and they just drew together. Natasha tried to distract her more by drawing random scribbles onto her paper, which made Nina giggle cutely. She grew tired eventually though and lost interest in drawing altogether.

“Time for bed,” Natasha smiled. “Go brush your teeth and then I’ll read you whatever story you want, okay?”

Nina nodded with a yawn and went to the bathroom. Natasha joined her just to supervise. She helped her change into her pajamas afterwards and Nina picked out the book she wanted Natasha to read. Natasha came into the bed with Nina, letting the girl curl up against her while she read. The story only took her ten minutes to read but Nina didn’t even make it halfway through. She fell asleep against her not five minutes into the story. Natasha finished reading it anyway and then stayed with her. She didn’t want to disturb her and wake her up again. Her phone hadn’t buzzed and her text was still unread. Natasha felt uneasy. She was worried.

She moved an hour later, quietly slipping out of the bed and Nina’s room without waking her up. She went to clean the dishes and then the kitchen, moving things back into the pantry. Natasha wasn’t sure what to do with herself next. She checked up on Nina again before settling on the couch. She avoided the TV and just waited.

* * *

It was just past 1am when the door opened. Natasha had fallen asleep on the couch about an hour ago. Maria hadn’t had the time to check her phone so she was surprised when she got in and saw the redhead there. She paused in the doorway before closing the door quietly and making her way past Natasha to Nina’s room. She needed to see her. If Natasha was here, she was certain Nina was too. Maria’s mission had been nothing short of a disaster and she was thoroughly exhausted, not to mention in pain. She had skipped going to medical in favor of going home. Seeing Nina fast asleep made her feel better and she stood there for a couple of minutes before going to her own bedroom. She didn’t want to wake the girl, no matter how badly she wanted to hold her. Plus, her injuries wouldn’t go unnoticed and she definitely did not wish to worry her even more. She left the door to her room open, too tired to think about closing it, and grabbed the first aid kit she kept in the drawer of her nightstand. Reaching everything was going to be impossible but she could do a little by herself.

She was in the middle of trying to tend to her side when movement from the door caught her attention. Natasha waited a brief moment, taking in the scene, before she came over to help her. Maria didn’t even bother to argue. It was good to see her and she was grateful that Natasha had come to look after Nina. Natasha already hated seeing her like this. She was clearly in pain.

“What happened?” Natasha asked quietly.

She knelt down in front of the bed to inspect the damage. Maria held her shirt up high enough to let her. Her ribs were bruised but not broken, and she had a shallow cut on her side. Natasha also spotted a graze on her leg that was undoubtedly from a bullet. She touched the bruised skin around her ribs to assess how bad it was. Maria sucked in a breath when she touched her but kept still to let her work.

“An ambush,” Maria said. “Lost two people.”

“I’m sorry.”

Maria just nodded absently. She felt responsible. She should have seen it coming; should have been able to protect her team better. But she’d failed and now two of them were dead, with the majority of the rest of the team stuck in medbay. Maria had gotten lucky. Natasha watched her in the dim light and continued to tend to the injuries. The cut was quickly taken care of and she wrapped her ribs as best as she could. The bullet wound wasn’t bleeding anymore and it was just a graze so Natasha took a small break. Maria wasn’t okay. She wanted to help. She just didn’t know how. She put the supplies down on the bed next to Maria and then covered her hand with hers. That got Maria’s attention.

“Thank you,” she said tiredly.

Natasha nodded and squeezed her hand gently. She didn’t like seeing that look on Maria’s face but she knew it always hit her hard to lose someone under her command. There was nothing Natasha could do about it but that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to try. She was about to say something when they both heard footsteps coming closer. They turned towards the door and found Nina standing there. She didn’t come closer, like she knew something wasn’t right and she wasn’t supposed to be there. Natasha looked up at Maria, unsure how to handle this situation. Maria smiled and lifted her hand to invite Nina closer.

“Come here, honey.”

Nina took a few hesitant steps before running the rest of the way and climbing up onto the bed with Natasha’s help. She wrapped her arms around Maria’s neck and held her tightly, and Maria hugged her closer. She bit back on the wince at the pain in her ribs from the girl’s crushing hug. She needed this. They both did. Nina sniffled into her neck and Maria rubbed her back gently, placing a kiss on the top of her head.

“I’m sorry I was gone so long.”

Nina didn’t say anything and instead wrapped her legs around her middle in a full koala embrace. Natasha smiled a little at the sight and got up to sit with them. Having Nina so close brought some life back into Maria’s expression. She was still tired, still hurting, but holding her daughter made it all better. Natasha was glad to see it.

“Thank you for looking after her,” Maria told her quietly.

Nina tucked her head underneath Maria’s chin, refusing to let go. Natasha wondered whether she knew something was up. It certainly seemed that way. She couldn’t have seen anything from the doorway though. Natasha shook her head and put her hand on the small of Nina’s back. She didn’t know what had possessed her to come over and pick her up. She hadn’t needed to. She was sure Mrs Jefferson would have let her stay the night. Natasha hadn’t wanted to worry anyone but she knew that wasn’t all there was to her decision. She couldn’t explain it. She was glad she hadn’t overstepped any boundaries though. She never knew.

“Don’t mention it.”

Nina was still upset and she snuggled into Maria as much as she physically could. Maria had no objections. She hid her pain and held her close, freeing a hand to squeeze Natasha’s in thanks. It was a relief to know Nina had been in good hands. There was no convincing the girl to let go of her so the rest of Maria’s wounds would need to wait. They weren’t too bad luckily and could wait a little longer. Maria wouldn’t have skipped medical if she would have actually needed it. She wasn’t that reckless. Maria looked just about ready to cry herself and Natasha had the sudden urge to leave. She had never seen her cry, nor close to tears, ever. She didn’t feel like she should be here for this. But Maria kept a tight hold of her hand too and Natasha lost all willingness to move. She remained where she was, rooted to her spot on the bed by Maria’s hand.

The sniffling ceased after a few more minutes. Nina had fallen back asleep. She was still clinging to Maria, who still held her just as tightly in return. Maria didn’t cry in the end but her breaths were a little shaky, as were her fingers. Natasha could feel the trembling where they were touching. She gave them a light squeeze and Maria looked up at her. She was so exhausted.

“You should get some sleep. I can also finish taking care of the rest of your wounds if you want.”

Maria really didn’t want to move but she couldn’t sleep in these clothes anyway. She wasn’t up for tending to the remaining injuries, even if she could reach them. Natasha’s help was greatly appreciated. She nodded once but didn’t move quite yet. She wanted to hold Nina a little longer. Natasha freed her hand to move the first aid kit to the bathroom and wait for her there. Nina was going to spend the night with Maria and she didn’t need to see any of that in the event she woke up again. Maria stayed for another five minutes before carefully extracting herself from Nina’s embrace. She put her down on the bed and tucked her in and then grabbed something to sleep in before going to the bathroom. Natasha was still there and she indicated for Maria to take off her pants and sit on the edge of the tub so she could tend to that bullet wound. Maria didn’t argue. She stepped out of her pants with some difficulty and then sat down. Natasha had a better look at the graze. It really wasn’t too bad but it would be better to take care of it now than in the morning.

“It wasn’t your fault, you know? What happened on that mission.”

“Natasha…”

“I know you blame yourself but it’s not on you. Sometimes ops go wrong. Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes you don’t. I know you did all you could to get your people out in one piece.”

“But they didn’t.”

It helped a little to hear Natasha say that but she still thought she should have been better prepared. It hadn’t been a difficult mission and their intel had been good. Nobody had needed to die.

“No… But I’m glad most of them did. I’m glad _you_ did.”

Maria said nothing to that and Natasha didn’t add anything. She had no idea what she would have told Nina if Maria hadn’t come home; either because she was stuck in the medbay or because she hadn’t made it. She didn’t even know why she felt responsible for telling the girl at all, even just hypothetically speaking. She was pretty sure Fury would do it. Natasha sighed quietly and continued dressing the wound. She was done just a little while later and put the medical supplies back into Maria’s first aid kit. Maria watched her. She felt quite lucky, all considering.

“Do you need me to stay?”

“Please,” Maria nodded.

She just wanted to sleep and hold Nina in her arms. Having Natasha here was helping also and Maria was entirely too tired to think about why that might be. Natasha nodded and let her get up. Maria still needed to change and Natasha didn’t know whether she’d need help with that. Maria was stubborn and would probably refuse any offer of help anyway so Natasha didn’t bother asking. If Maria needed it, she would ask Natasha herself.

“You okay?”

“I will be.”

Natasha nodded. She believed that. It would take some time but Maria always bounced back. Her phone buzzed before she could say more. Fury. She should probably take this. She glanced at Maria who gave her a quick nod. She would be fine on her own. Natasha left the bathroom and went to the kitchen to answer the phone. She didn’t want to disturb Nina.

“Romanoff.”

“Are you at Hill’s?” Fury asked without missing a beat.

“Yes.”

“Is she there?”

“She got here about an hour ago. Her wounds have been tended to. I know she skipped medical.”

“She did. She skipped everything. I’m expecting her report tomorrow but make sure she gets some rest for now. Debrief as soon as she’s back.”

“I’ll let her know.”

Maria took her time getting dressed for bed while Natasha was on the phone. She stepped out of the bathroom when she was done. She could overhear some of the conversation but decided not to linger. Fury was probably asking about her. She went to put the first aid kit away again and checked that Nina was still sleeping and then went back out to lean against the door frame. She came back in time to catch the tail end of the conversation.

“Thank you. I’ll be there.”

Natasha hung up and looked up at Maria.

“Fury. He expects your report tomorrow. He didn’t specify about your debriefing though. Whenever you’re back, I guess.”

Maria made a small sound and nodded. She should have stayed to report back but she’d just wanted to go home.

“I told him you’ve had your own version of medical.”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it. But that being said, you should rest; get some sleep.”

Maria hesitated but then agreed quietly. She wished Natasha a good night and went back to her bedroom to crawl under the covers with Nina. She was curious about the last bit of the conversation between Natasha and Fury. She hadn’t been able to hear everything but it felt like maybe she was missing something crucial. She was far too tired to linger on it though. It could wait. Natasha went and got comfortable on the couch. It had been a long day and despite her earlier nap, she wasn’t sure she’d be able to fall back asleep quite so easily. Maria’s injuries weren’t too worrisome but it still bothered her. She should have never gotten hurt to begin with. Natasha wanted to know more about that mission now, and how it had managed to go wrong so quickly. She had already asked Fury to bring her in on it. There would need to be a follow up mission and Natasha had every intention to be a part of it.


	11. Chapter 11

Natasha was up early the next morning. She hadn’t slept very much, nor terribly well. She’d spent most of it wondering about that mission and trying to figure out why she was so bothered by the sight of Maria injured. She never liked it when Clint got hurt either but this was different. She couldn’t explain it. She stayed on the couch, listening for any sounds coming from the bedroom. The Hills were both early risers but it had been a long night for all of them and Natasha doubted they were awake yet. At least she hoped so. Nina was probably still asleep but she wasn’t so sure about Maria. She was likely too sore to actually sleep long. She waited another hour before deciding to check up on them. It was still early but a reasonable enough time for Maria to be awake. She pushed the door open quietly, just in case, and let the light from the living room illuminate her. If Maria was awake, at least she’d be able to see her and not be too startled. Maria moved when she noticed Natasha, lifting her head just enough to see her better. Nina was curled up against her, fast asleep. 

“Hey,” Natasha said quietly. 

She covered the distance between them and knelt down next to the bed so they were at eye level and Maria wouldn’t need to shuffle. They could also talk quietly that way and hopefully give Nina some more time to sleep. 

“How are you feeling?”

“Been worse,” Maria just said.

Natasha had expected that and she huffed a small chuckle. She certainly sounded a little better. She looked more in the moment too, from what little Natasha could make of her expression. That was good.

“Fair enough. I’m gonna have to get back to the carrier today. I don’t think Fury will be expecting you back before the afternoon at the very least.”

“When do you need to be back?”

“I can give you a ride,” Natasha offered.

It wasn’t so much that she was expected back than it was her wanting to be there so she and Fury could talk. He’d promised to give her the details of the mission and she wanted to get familiar with everything. Especially if she was to go on that follow up op. It wasn’t going to happen immediately though, at least not before all the reports had come in and everyone had been debriefed. She could wait until Maria went back too.

“Okay.”

Natasha didn’t ask when. Maria would tell her. What she didn’t need to tell her was that she wanted desperately to spend more time with Nina. Natasha wasn’t going to be in the way of that. She wanted to make sure none of Maria’s injuries had gotten worse during the night though and she hoped to get a quick check up in. Ideally, Maria would need to go to medical but they both knew that wasn’t going to happen so Natasha’s handiwork just had to do. She was confident that it would be enough. Natasha skipped post mission medbay visits more than anyone else and she’d taken care of her own wounds more often than she cared to count. She made it a habit not to get them in the first place but sometimes things just didn’t work out so well.

“I can get you guys some breakfast, if you want.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I don’t mind. Pastries alright?”

“Chocolate ones,” Maria smiled.

Natasha grinned at her and glanced at Nina. The girl was still out, her head resting on Maria’s shoulder. It looked like she hadn’t let go of Maria once throughout the whole night.

“I’ll be right back.”

Maria nodded and watched Natasha leave. Natasha grabbed the spare keys and made sure she had her wallet before heading out. There was a small bakery down the block. It would be perfect. She reached it a few minutes later and bought a handful of pastries, all with chocolate in them, a couple of buns as well as some croissants. She made her way back to the apartment afterwards.

In the ten minutes Natasha had been gone, Nina had woken up and almost immediately started crying. Maria was doing her best to calm her down but to no avail. Natasha could hear the girl from the hallway. That wasn’t what she had expected. She left the bag of food on the coffee table and went to the bedroom. Maria and Nina were still in bed, the girl clinging to her mother and crying into her neck. Maria was as lost as Natasha was when the redhead came back in. She had no idea what had brought on the tears and no amount of back rubbing and talking to her was calming her down. Maria was still too exhausted to even begin dealing with this crisis but she did her best. Her best guess was that Nina was crying because of the previous night but she couldn’t calm her down enough to ask. Natasha had the same idea. Nina had looked like she’d been able to tell that something was off and Natasha didn’t think it had anything to do with the late hour. The girl hadn’t been awake enough nor had there been enough light to be able to see that Maria had been hurt and Natasha had been taking care of that. Natasha was curious. She sat down on the bed with them and touched the small of Nina’s back again. It did nothing to make her cry less but Maria was feeling less alone.

“Did something happen?” Natasha asked.

Maria shook her head, then rested her cheek on top of Nina’s head. She hated seeing her so upset. It was worse because she didn’t even know why Nina was crying.

“She woke up and started crying almost right away.”

Natasha made a quiet humming sound and shuffled on the bed until she could see Nina’s face. The little girl was reaching the stage of her crying where she started hiccuping. Natasha felt a tug at her heart just by looking at her.

“Hey, you.”

Nina didn’t even look at her. She just hugged Maria tighter. It was a little heartbreaking to watch. Maria’s expression wasn’t helping that.

“Natasha brought breakfast. With lots of chocolate,” Maria tried.

No luck. Nina shifted in Maria’s arms but still didn’t let go or stop crying. Maria continued to simply hold her and rub her back, pressing a kiss against her head every so often. She’d exhaust herself eventually. There was nothing either one of them could do now so they would just have to wait it out. Maria felt bad but Natasha didn’t mind. She didn’t like seeing Nina so upset either.

“I think maybe she knows you got hurt,” Natasha told her quietly.

Nina wasn’t listening to them anyway and over all her tears, Natasha’s words were barely audible. Maria had heard them all the same though. She frowned and hugged Nina a little more. Nina shouldn’t know that. However, it was something and if it truly was the cause of all of these tears, then maybe Maria could do something about it.

“Nina, honey, look at me.”

Maria pried her little fingers away from where they were grabbing her shirt and hair and made her sit up a little so she could look at her. Nina sniffled loudly but looked up at Maria. Maria smiled. She kissed her cheek and her nose, holding her hands.

“Are you upset because you think I’m hurt?”

It took a few moments but Nina nodded eventually. Tears were still rolling down her cheeks but most of the loud crying had made way for sniffles and hiccups. It was progress.

“I’m okay, I promise.”

Maria didn’t have it in herself to lie to her daughter, no matter how much she wanted to tell her that nothing was hurting and she was perfectly fine. She wasn’t. Her leg was hurting and her ribs were sore, leaving her in pain every time she moved too much or breathed wrong. But she was okay and she would be better than soon.

“Pinky promise?” Nina whispered.

She sounded impossibly small and Maria wanted nothing more than hold her and never let go. Natasha kept out of the entire exchange, feeling out of place. It was difficult to witness. Maria brought their hands up and let go of Nina’s so she could make her pinky promise. Nina cuddled into her as soon as it was done, gripping her shirt again tightly.

“Do you want to help me eat all the chocolate things Natasha brought over?”

Nina nodded against her and Maria smiled briefly. She held her securely and then got up, careful not to put too much pressure on her injured leg. Natasha kept an eye on them both. She got up as well and they went to sit at the dining table while Natasha moved the bag of pastries there. She grabbed some plates since Maria was still busy holding Nina and set the table. She got them some juice as well and let the two of them dig into whatever pastries they wanted. Natasha was happy to take what was left. Nina ate while in Maria’s lap and Maria adjusted easily. They’d done this before, many times. She had practice.

“Thank you,” she told Natasha.

She poked Nina gently, who got the hint and thanked Natasha as well, her mouth full of croissant. Natasha smiled. At least Nina was feeling a little better now. She was glad for it. They ate in relative silence. Nina was content to be near Maria and the same could be said for Maria herself. Natasha just liked watching the two of them. She had yet to get bored of the sight. Natasha offered to clean up when they were done so Maria could go sit on the couch with Nina. Maria found some cartoons to watch with the help of Nina and the rest of her tears were slowly forgotten as the show ran. Natasha joined them as soon as she was done cleaning. Maria was grateful. Dealing with Nina’s tears was always a bit of a handful and never got less upsetting to her but Natasha was a big help just by being here and offering to do things for her. All the earlier crying on top of the short night had left Nina quite tired and she fell asleep in Maria’s arms halfway through the third episode of the cartoon. Maria played with the girl’s hair absently. It had gotten really long by now but she didn’t want to cut it and she knew Nina loved having her hair so long. She liked the pigtails and how funny it felt when she was getting it wet during a bath. It got all floaty, according to Nina, and it always made her giggle.

Maria felt quite drained herself now that Nina was asleep and she had a moment of respite. She was still hung up on her failed mission, as well as somewhat distracted by the pains in her body. Not to mention Nina’s tears. She never felt like she was getting any better at handling those. She watched Natasha for a while, twirling a strand of Nina’s hair between her fingers.

“Do you ever think about having kids?”

Natasha hadn’t expected that question and she looked at her with no idea how to reply. She hadn’t, truthfully, though a stray thought had come and gone several times in the past few years. She blamed Clint for that. Natasha took her time wrapping her head around the question and then shook her head, her gaze falling onto Nina.

“Not really… I can’t have kids anyway so it doesn’t matter.”

She had never really said that out loud before. It was in her file, of course, but she hadn’t told anyone since telling Clint, years ago. Maria had read her file and knew about it but she didn’t think one had to exclude the other.

“There are other options,” she just said.

Natasha smiled sadly. That was true. She could always adopt or find a donor. It wouldn’t be worth it though. Natasha didn’t think she would be a good mother; quite the opposite, actually. On top of that she had her job to worry about. Maria was doing fine balancing both but Natasha was out in the field more often and she had far more enemies than Maria could ever make. At least Natasha hoped so. She’d carried plenty of enemies with her since before she’d joined SHIELD and even within the agency she thought there were people who would use anything they could to try and hurt her. She’d found her place but that didn’t mean she was universally trusted. She’d hurt people before joining them and she knew some still carried a grudge. No, it was far too dangerous to even think about having children.

“I’d be terrible and I would constantly put them in danger if I had kids.”

“I don’t know about either one of those things.”

Maria had a lot more faith in Natasha than Natasha had in herself. She’d seen the redhead interact with Nina enough to know that she would be far from terrible at being a mother. It wasn’t that easy though and Maria was well aware of it. Natasha frowned a little but decided against asking what made her think that.

“Actually, I think you’re wrong.”

“What?”

“I don’t think you’d be a bad mother.”

Natasha shook her head. She wasn’t sure she wanted to have this conversation. She appreciated Maria thinking that but it didn’t change her mind.

“Being around someone else’s kid isn’t the same as raising your own. I don’t think it makes for a good basis.”

“Maybe not. But you are doing great with her, and Barton’s kids too, no doubt.”

Natasha fell silent. She didn’t know what to say to that. Maria had nothing to add so she didn’t. She adjusted her hold on Nina and leaned back into the couch more. The cartoons were still running and they were both too lazy to turn them off. They ended up watching them together, Nina sleeping soundly. They had plenty of time left before they had to go. Maria was considering taking the day off, or at least work from home. She could write her report here and debrief with a video call. It didn’t feel right to just leave Nina again, even if it would just be for a few hours in the afternoon. Fury would understand. He had always understood. Maria made her decision when Nina curled into her more and huffed in her sleep. She was needed here more than at SHIELD right now.

“I’m going to stay home,” she said. “I’ll work it out with Fury but I can’t leave her.”

Natasha wasn’t surprised to hear that. She smiled at Maria. She could just go back on her own then. She wasn’t worried about Fury.

“Okay.”

“You don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

“I don’t mind. Can’t watch cartoons on the carrier,” Natasha grinned.

Maria chuckled softly. That was true but mostly she appreciated the company.

“Better make the most of it then. They’ll be over soon.”

They watched the rest of the cartoons and then Natasha got ready to leave. Maria would be fine on her own for the rest of the day. She could check on her wounds herself too now. Natasha wasn’t worried. Once she was gone, Maria contacted Fury to let him know she wouldn’t be coming in. He had expected it already. They scheduled a debrief for the afternoon, giving Maria time to work on her report while Nina let her.

* * *

Natasha was gone for five days. She’d been brought in on the follow up mission, which had taken a couple of days to put together. Tracking down the people behind the ambush had taken another day, and the mission itself had taken up the rest of the time. They’d laid a trap for them that had worked beautifully. There hadn’t been any casualties and nothing worse than a few scrapes and bruises. The mission had been a success. Natasha felt better. She hadn’t told Maria about her involvement but she was going to tell her everything had gone well. She had no doubt that Maria already knew anyway. She wouldn’t just keep out of it. The original op had been hers after all, so Natasha was fairly certain that Maria had stayed up to date with the fallout.

She went to her debriefing with Fury as soon as she was back. She hadn’t gotten more than a couple of bruises so she hadn’t bothered going to the medbay for a check up. She was fine. Fury was already waiting for her. He was glad nothing had gone wrong this time. It was never fun to lose agents and having the cause taken care of was a relief for everyone. The team had done a good job. The debrief took over an hour and Fury dismissed her as soon as they were done. She barely made it into her quarters before her phone rang. She expected it to be Clint. They hadn’t had a chance to talk much lately and were overdue for a chat. But checking the caller ID let her know that it was Maria calling. She hadn’t been able to even text these last few days but she hoped both Hills were doing better than when Natasha had left last time. She answered the phone and before either one of them could so much as say hello, Natasha could hear crying in the background. Maybe Nina wasn’t feeling better yet.

“I need your help,” Maria said quickly. “Can you come by?”

“Yeah, sure. Give me an hour? I just got back.”

Maria made a non-committal sound and Natasha decided that her shower could wait. Maria sounded defeated. She wondered what was wrong. It probably wasn’t the first time these past few days that Nina was crying like this. Natasha had no idea how she could possibly help but she wouldn’t leave Maria to deal with it alone. Especially not since she’d called and asked for help. Natasha had promised months ago to be there if she ever needed her. She wasn’t going to wait on that.

“Nevermind, I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

“Thank you.”

Natasha hung up and got changed before grabbing her things. She had a ride to catch. She got off the Helicarrier with the first available jet and then made her way to Maria’s apartment. She made it to the building in record time and took the elevator up to the third floor. Nina was still crying, or maybe again. Either way, Natasha could hear her from the hallway as soon as she stepped out of the lift. It was quite impressive, actually. Maria’s neighbors had to be the most patient and understanding people in the world for not constantly being at her door complaining about the noise. Natasha knocked on the door. She didn’t have to wait long for it to open. Maria looked a little lost, and very tired. Natasha got in so Maria could close the door again behind her.

“Hey. What’s going on?”

Maria shook her head. She didn’t know either but she was feeling entirely overwhelmed by this whole situation. She was just about ready to break down and cry, which she largely attributed to her exhaustion and the fact that she couldn’t stand seeing her daughter cry so much.

“I don’t know. She hasn’t stopped crying these past few days. I don’t know what to do. She’s not hurt or sick but she won’t tell me why she’s crying either.”

Natasha could hear the panic filtering through Maria’s voice and she took a step closer to put her hands on her shoulders in hopes of steadying her. This was unlike her. It was unsettling.

“Hey, hey, breathe, Maria. I’m sure she’s okay. We’ll figure it out.”

Comforting anyone wasn’t really part of Natasha’s repertoire but she just had to try. Maria was at her wit’s end and it showed. Natasha moved one of her hands to cup Maria’s cheek and waited for her to calm down a little. The touch was almost too much for Maria but she took a deep breath and refused to cry. Natasha was right. They could figure it out.

“She hasn’t said anything?”

“No… She won’t talk to me, Natasha. I don’t know how to help her.”

Natasha ran her thumb over her cheek absently and nodded once. That certainly explained why Maria looked so upset, nevermind Nina’s own tears.

“Have you tried calling her doctor for help?”

“A couple of days ago. I haven’t called her back.”

“Then let’s do that.”

“Okay, yeah.”

“I’ll keep Nina company.”

Maria nodded and Natasha pulled away to join Nina. The girl was holed up in her room, still crying loudly. Natasha stepped inside after a quick knock and walked over to sit with her. Nina wasn’t paying her any attention though.

“Hey, _myshka_. What’s gotten you so upset?”

Nina didn’t answer but she did climb into Natasha’s lap. She hid her face in her neck and wound her fingers into her hair. Natasha sighed quietly and hugged her closer to her.

“It’s okay, Nina.”

Nina continued to cry without saying anything and Natasha was already beginning to understand why Maria was so freaked out. If Nina had been like this for days, then it was definitely worrying. Natasha tried to calm her down but she didn’t get her hopes up. If Maria couldn’t do it, there was no way she would be any more successful. Hopefully Maria would have more luck with her doctor.

Maria joined them a few minutes later. Natasha was still sitting on the girl’s bed with Nina in her arms.

“Anything?”

“She wants to run a few tests on her,” Maria said.

It could be related to her circumstances which would open up a whole other can of worms. Maria wasn’t ready to face the possibility yet but she had always known it could happen. She just hoped nothing was _wrong_. She didn’t want to worry Natasha, just in case it was nothing like that.

“Do you need me to come with you?”

“No, I don’t think so. We’ll be okay. But thank you.”

“Sure,” Natasha smiled.

Maria stepped closer and gently pried Nina out of Natasha’s arms. The girl needed some convincing to let go of her but she hugged herself to Maria when she could no longer hold onto Natasha. Natasha got out of bed once Maria had taken the girl.

“Hey? Could you let me know if she finds anything?” Natasha asked.

She was worried about Nina as well, and Maria too for that matter. This was hard on her. Not that she could blame her. Maria looked a little surprised for a moment but she nodded right away. She should have expected it. Natasha cared. It was only fair she’d want to know what came of the tests. Maria secured Nina in her arms, freeing one to take Natasha’s hand. She squeezed her fingers and Natasha returned the gesture.

“Thank you.”

Natasha didn’t know what to say to that and ended up just nodding mutely. She didn’t feel like she’d done anything.

“If you want, you can wait here? I don’t know how long we’ll be though.”

“That’s okay. I can just watch TV.”

“Okay.”

Maria tugged at her hand gently before letting go to wrap her arm around her shoulder in a half hug. Natasha almost forgot how to breathe for a second. The moment didn’t last long and Maria pulled back again just a few seconds later. Nina needed to get dressed and Maria didn’t want to waste too much time idling. The sooner they got going, the sooner they could maybe, hopefully, find out what was happening. Natasha left to get Nina’s shoes when Maria asked her to. It took some effort to change her into more appropriate clothes since Nina wasn’t at all cooperating. She got her into another pair of pants and a shirt and then took her jacket for her to wear. Natasha came back with the shoes and helped put them on. All in all it took five minutes but it felt like a small eternity. Maria grabbed her own jacket and then picked up Nina again so they could go. Natasha stayed back, getting comfortable on the couch with her phone close by, just in case. She felt antsy. That wasn’t a feeling she enjoyed.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There has been a small mishap in uploading the previous chapter, resulting in a paragraph at the very start to be missing. I've since fixed this and have added the part that's been missing.

The drive to the lab didn’t take too long, luckily. Nina had barely stopped crying on the way. She was hiccuping from the effort, sniffling in between. Maria got her out of the car and let her cling to her before heading inside. The lab was empty at the moment, save for Dr. Weaver, who was already waiting for them. She’d cleared the lab so they could run their tests. They used Dr. Weaver’s office for examinations whenever Nina was sick or needed a check up. They headed that way again this time too but wouldn’t stay there for the entirety of this visit. Maria put Nina down in one of the chairs, despite Nina’s whines of complaint. She started crying again loudly and Maria decided it wasn’t worth trying to make her sit on her own right now. She picked her back up and Nina nestled herself against her quickly, calming down just a little.

She and Dr. Weaver went over the last few days and talked about possible causes for Nina’s almost non-stop crying. Dr. Weaver had done some research but hadn’t found too many possible explanations in regards to Nina’s age. She had a few tests she wanted to do, most of them standard ones but she also had a few others in mind. Specifically a functional MRI of Nina’s brain. If nothing else worked, hopefully that could shed some light on the situation. She wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything else first though. There were still other options, although none of them seemed terribly likely. She liked covering her bases. It never hurt. She asked Maria to sit Nina down on the small bed so she could start examining the girl. Maria struggled a little to get Nina to stop clinging to her so much but eventually managed to pry her away. She took off her jacket and then sat her down on the bed, staying close so she wouldn’t feel alone. Nina wasn’t a big fan of having to go to the doctor, even if she did like Dr. Weaver. She didn’t like how the room made her feel, she’d told Maria once. Luckily, they didn’t need to go very often. Nina wasn’t a sickly child by any means. Dr. Weaver went through all of the standard exams and took a small blood sample to analyze as well, just in case. Nina definitely didn’t enjoy that and she cried again at it. Maria made her lean against her, holding her close with one arm wrapped around her shoulder. Dr. Weaver let her put the band-aid on and then moved the sample into a blood analyzer to see whether there was anything to be found there.

So far none of the exams had proven particularly helpful in finding the root of the problem, not that either one of the two women had expected that. It only left the fMRI as a viable option right now so Maria took Nina back into her arms to follow Dr. Weaver to where the machine was. She had to leave her phone in the office, tucked away in a desk drawer for safekeeping. Nina immediately tightened her hold when they entered the room. She was scared. Maria hugged her closer and kissed her cheek.

“It’s okay, honey. It won’t hurt you.”

“It may be best to sedate her while we do the scan. She’s very agitated; I doubt she’ll stay still enough. It’ll be better if she’s out for the time being, especially considering how scared she is of it already,” Dr. Weaver said.

Maria hated the idea of having to sedate Nina but it was true that it would help. She knew it was a common practice with children Nina’s age. She nodded her consent and Dr. Weaver went to retrieve an IV. She attached it to Nina through many more tears on the girl’s end and then they waited for the sedative to kick in. Maria held her the whole time, promising her she’d be okay and nothing was going to hurt her. Nina fell asleep just a little later and Dr. Weaver nodded at Maria. She brought Nina over to the machine and laid her down in it. She followed Dr. Weaver out of the room so the scan could start. It took over half an hour and Maria didn’t really understand what she was seeing on the screens. A couple of curious noises coming from Dr. Weaver told her that she was definitely seeing _something_.

“What is it?”

“I’m not entirely sure yet. I may need some time to really analyze this later but it is curious. Both her parietal lobe and prefrontal cortex are highly active. It’s like the sedative didn’t affect them at all.”

“And what does that mean in non-science terms?”

“This space here-” Dr. Weaver started, indicating the middle part of the brain on screen, “-is where we process pain. That’s the parietal lobe. She seems to be in quite a lot of pain, which would explain the tears. I can’t tell just from this but I’d wager it’s been this way for a few days now. I don’t know what could be causing it though. She’s perfectly fine as far as I can tell.”

Maria watched the scans come through and then looked through the window at the machine. Pain would certainly explain the amount of crying Nina had done lately but she still didn’t know _why_ that was in the first place. Nina hadn’t gotten hurt. Nothing had happened these past few days. Maria didn’t feel any better knowing that. In fact, she felt worse. She turned her attention back to what Dr. Weaver was saying when she realized the woman was still talking to her.

“The prefrontal cortex does a lot of things for us. It’s responsible for our emotions, our personality, social behaviors and a whole host of other things.”

Maria nodded along. She remembered that much from school.

“It’s almost hyperactive now. It could be due to any number of reasons. It’s hard to pinpoint right now but I may be able to once I’ve had some time to really look at all of these.”

“So we still don’t know what’s wrong…”

“No, but I think we’re onto something here. She’ll be okay. In the meantime, she can take some paracetamol for her pains if you want. They should help.”

“Yeah, that would be good.”

“I’ll call you as soon as I have something.”

“Thank you.”

“Of course. Let’s get her out so you can go home. The sedative should wear off in an hour, maybe less.”

Maria was glad to hear that. As nice as the silence was after days of Nina crying, she didn’t like it. Not under the circumstances. They went back into the room with the machine and got Nina out and off the scanning table. Maria carried her back to the office to put her jacket back on as well as grab her phone.

“Thank you,” Maria said again.

Dr. Weaver gave her a sympathetic smile. It was her job, but she also quite liked the two Hills. She didn’t enjoy seeing Nina like this. Nobody would. She had some work to do in analyzing both the blood samples she’d taken as well as the brain scan. The latter was going to be something. She expected it to take up quite a bit of time. The sooner she’d get started, the better. She gave Maria a pack of candy to take home for Nina. Normally, she would have given it to her after drawing blood but scans were better done on an empty stomach so she hadn’t been able to make amends with Nina. Maria chuckled and pocketed it before leaving. She debated calling Natasha. There wasn’t really anything to share yet so she decided not to. It could wait until she made it back home. Talking in person would probably be better for her nerves anyway. She could really use that right now.

* * *

Maria made it back to the apartment before Nina woke up again. She had made a quick stop at a pharmacy to stock up on painkillers for her since she wasn’t sure how many she had left at home. Maria was trying her best not to panic and overthink things but she couldn’t help it. She watched Nina when she got into the elevator and held her a little tighter. She got the door to her apartment open with the girl in her arms and then pushed it open to get inside. Natasha was on the couch watching TV and she looked up when the door opened. She paused the TV and got up to close the door behind Maria. Maria thanked her quietly. Natasha helped her to get Nina out of her jacket without Maria needing to let go of her. She wasn’t quite ready to do that yet. She’d need to get out of her own jacket but it could wait. Nina should wake up soon and she wanted to be with her when she did. She had no idea how she was going to react when she would wake up. Maybe she should have asked.

“How did it go?”

“I’m still waiting for some of the results. Weaver thinks she may have found something though. Her brain scan showed some strange activities but she couldn’t say what it might be yet. The only thing I do know is that she’s in pain.”

“That explains the tears. But why?”

“We don’t know…”

Maria dropped down on the couch with a heavy sigh and Natasha sat down next to her. Maria looked even more exhausted than before. Natasha wanted to do something to help but she didn’t know what or how. There was nothing she _could_ do. She hated that. She hated seeing that look on Maria’s face. Maria adjusted her hold on Nina, waiting for her to wake up. She was terrified. Natasha hesitated to do anything. She wasn’t good with these kinds of things. Nina started stirring before she could make up her mind about anything and she and Maria both waited quietly. Nina didn’t start crying right away but she looked around, confused.

“Hey, you,” Maria said softly.

Nina looked up at her and then at Natasha with a little frown. Maria hoped that meant she didn’t remember much of her trip to Dr. Weaver’s office.

“Mama?”

“How are you feeling, honey?”

Nina didn’t answer and snuggled against her instead. Maria sighed. It wasn’t like Nina to just fall quiet. Normally, she would answer her questions. Maria didn’t know how to make things better. She hugged her and leaned back against the couch more, shifting closer to Natasha to rest her head against her shoulder. She was so tired. She hoped Dr. Weaver would call her back soon about those scans. Natasha watched the two Hills, though mostly Nina since it was a little more difficult to see much of Maria with how close she was now. She didn’t say anything. She was pretty sure that nothing she could say would make Maria feel better and she really didn’t want to make it worse by saying the wrong thing. Nina started whining a few minutes later and hid her face in Maria’s neck. She grabbed Natasha’s shirt in her little hand and Natasha reached out to rest her hand on her back, between her shoulder blades. Nina dozed off for a little while and Maria took a deep breath when she did. Natasha felt bad. This was hard.

“She’ll be okay,” she finally said.

Maria said nothing for a few moments. She looked at Nina sleeping and hoped Natasha was right in saying that.

“And if she isn’t? What do I do then? She’s my life, Natasha. I can’t lose her.”

Maria’s voice cracked a little at the end and Natasha thought she could _feel_ it. She didn’t know what to say to that. There was nothing _to_ say. Besides trying to reassure her that Nina was going to be fine, there was nothing to be said or done. And even then, if worst came to worst, those would just be empty platitudes. Natasha thought Maria deserved better than that. An apology was on the tip of her tongue but she held back on it.

“You won’t,” she said quietly instead.

Maria just sighed and pressed her forehead against Natasha’s shoulder. She knew the redhead meant well. It wasn’t good to think of worst case scenarios, even though Maria was an expert in that. It came with the job. But Natasha was right. She had to stay positive. Nina had to be alright. Maria didn’t want to think about what would happen if she wasn’t. She shuffled a little, adjusting her hold on Nina when the girl started to drift further against Natasha. Natasha was quite comfortable and it felt good to be able to just be here with a shoulder to lean on. Maria appreciated that. She remained silent and Natasha didn’t break that silence again either.

They stayed like this until Maria’s phone rang. Natasha had almost expected Maria to start crying at any point during that time. Nina had, when she’d woken up again half an hour ago. Maria had looked close to tears. She moved to answer her phone but Nina was still on her. Natasha took her into her own lap and Maria smiled gratefully. She grabbed the paracetamol for Nina and gave it to Natasha before heading into the bedroom to take the call. She didn’t know what to expect from this and so she didn’t want to worry Nina, nor Natasha.

“Did you find anything?” Maria asked immediately.

“I did. Or at least I think I did.”

“What does that mean?”

“I can’t be one-hundred percent sure about this without further testing but I think I narrowed down her brain activity.”

Maria held her breath. This could be good or it could be terrible. She wasn’t ready for the latter so she hoped for good news. She desperately needed them. She paced the room, peeking past the slightly ajar door into the living room. Natasha was talking to Nina, though she couldn’t hear what she was saying. She was too focused on Dr. Weaver’s words anyway.

“I believe she’s processing emotions at a much higher rate than is normal,” Dr. Weaver said before pausing for a few moments. “I think she might be an empath.”

Maria fell completely silent for a several seconds, taking in the words and what this meant. She dropped down on the edge of the bed, staring at the door. That was not world-ending news but she wasn’t sure it could be considered good news either.

“An empath?”

“I think she can feel other people’s emotions. If that’s the case and she is still just starting to develop those kinds of abilities, that could explain why she’s been in pain for no apparent reason. It would take a toll on her brain to suddenly have so much more to process and deal with. We’re not made for these kinds of things.”

Maria chuckled dryly and finally allowed herself a break. She took a shaky breath, letting her tears fall freely but quietly. Her daughter had powers. Nina was still far too young to have to deal with that, especially if it was causing her pain. Maria ran a hand down her face.

“The alien DNA?” She asked.

“Likely the cause, yes.”

They never did get to figure out much about those aliens before the lab accident had happened. Maria supposed it could be worse. Nina was perfectly normal and healthy after all. And she also had what could essentially be described as superpowers now. That was going to take a while longer to fully sink in. Maria struggled comprehending the idea of it. How was she even supposed to deal with this? She had no idea how to help Nina with it or how to make the pain go away.

“I would like to run a few more tests. Not right away but soon. This is still just a hypothesis and I could very well be wrong.”

Maria nodded, only vaguely realizing that she wasn’t actually face to face with the other woman. This was something she had always been worried about. Tests could easily and quickly lead to experiments and Maria wasn’t going to allow that to happen. But she trusted Dr. Weaver and for now, she took her hypothesis at face value. Nina was likely an empath.

“Any idea how I can help her?”

“Stay calm. If I’m right, then she’s been sensing your anxiety about the situation which can’t have helped. Try to get her to talk to you if she hasn’t. She’ll be fine but it would probably be best not to overwhelm her.”

“Okay… Thank you.”

“Of course. Keep an eye on her and call me if anything changes.“

“I will.”

With that said, Maria hung up again. She couldn’t believe it. She took another minute to herself, staring at her phone. She would need to tell Fury if this really was the case. For now though, she would only tell Natasha. Maybe she could help. Maria shook her head at the thought. No, that wasn’t fair at all. She couldn’t keep asking Natasha for things like this. She closed her eyes and wiped away the rest of her tears before pushing herself off the bed. She put her phone away and went back to the living room. Natasha and Nina hadn’t moved. The girl was half asleep in the redhead’s arms and Natasha was still talking to her softly. She looked up when Maria stepped back into view. Maria stopped a few feet away from the couch to just watch them. She was a little envious and upset by how Natasha seemed to manage to calm Nina down better than she had been able to lately. Then again, if what Dr. Weaver said was accurate, then Maria had been far too anxious to calm her. She let out a small breath. It was a good thing Natasha was here. She never seemed fazed by anything, though Maria knew that wasn’t true.

“Is she asleep?”

“Just about.”

Maria covered the rest of the distance to kneel next to the couch and look at Nina’s sleepy face. It had been a long day for her. A long week, really. She reached out to tuck some hair back behind her ear and then touch her cheek gently. Nina blinked at the touch and looked at her.

“Do you want to get some rest?”

Nina just nodded. Maria smiled softly. At least she wasn’t arguing.

“Do you want me to take you or should Natasha take you to bed?”

Nina seemed to seriously consider that if her frown was any indication. The face she made was adorable and put a smile on Natasha’s. Nina made her decision almost a full minute later, pulling back from Natasha’s hold just far enough to reach out for Maria with both of her hands. Maria smiled fondly and picked her up. It was nice that she still wanted her over Natasha. She had half expected it not to be the case since Natasha was keeping her calm much easier than Maria did. Nina snuggled against her. She rested her head against her shoulder and wrapped both her arms loosely around her neck. Maria held her close and kissed the top of her head. She had some making up to do for all the additional stress she’d caused her these past few days.

“I’ll be right back,” Maria told Natasha.

Natasha just nodded, letting Maria put Nina to bed. By the time they reached Nina’s room, the girl had already fallen asleep and Maria changed her into her pajamas before tucking her in. She sat with her for a few minutes to watch over her. The phone call was replaying itself in the back of her mind. This was all a lot to take in. The possibility itself was crazy.

She joined Natasha again in the living room ten minutes later. Natasha had waited. She was curious but whatever Maria had been told on the phone, it was obvious that she’d needed the time with Nina. Natasha hadn’t been interested in interrupting that. She knew from the Bartons how important family time was, and how important some alone time with your children could be. Clint needed that every so often after a bad mission, or even just after a long while away from his family. Natasha was always welcome at their farm but she’d learned to respect that time and not interfere with it.

“Good news or bad news?” Natasha asked.

Maria sat back down on the couch with her, not quite as close to her as before but still closer than normally. Her gaze drifted to the door to Nina’s room before finding Natasha again.

“I’m honestly not sure.”

“Is she okay?”

“Yeah… Just... Weaver thinks she might have powers; that she could be an empath.”

“Oh.”

Natasha hadn’t expected that at all. She had nothing smarter to add right now and left it at that, watching Maria. She looked overwhelmed and Natasha couldn’t blame her. Those were not news anyone would expect to hear, less alone about their four year old daughter.

“It could be that it isn't that but I’m not sure anything else would be better.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I have no idea,” Maria chuckled humorlessly. “Weaver wants to run a few more tests to make sure. In the meantime, I don’t think there is much I _can_ do. I want to make it easier on her but I don’t know how. I think the best I can do for now is try to stay calm and just be there.”

“That sounds good.”

“And maybe you could help?”

Maria didn’t want to ask. She hated it. Not because Natasha wasn’t helpful or because she didn’t trust her but because she just kept on asking her for help. She hadn’t once been able to help her in return and it felt more and more like she was using Natasha. She didn’t like that. She didn’t think she was but she also didn’t want Natasha to think that she was. Natasha seemed to read her mind and she nudged Maria’s shoulder with her own, effectively bringing her back into the moment. Maria still felt the need to explain herself.

“You calm her down. And you calm me down. I think we could both use that right now.”

“You know I’ll be here for you; both of you.”

“I’ll find a way to pay you back.”

Natasha shook her head. She glanced at Nina’s room and then gave it another shrug. Natasha wasn’t bothered by that. She didn’t care. In fact, Maria had already done plenty for her; she just didn’t know it. As calming as Natasha was to the two Hills, the same could be said about Maria in return. She calmed Natasha down too. She’d done a lot of that in the first weeks and months of her visits, when being around Nina had still caused her light panic attacks. Natasha knew that sometimes friendships weren’t equal in giving and taking. Maria needed her now and Natasha didn’t care that that meant she couldn’t give back as much right now. Natasha didn’t need her to.

“You don’t have to. I want to help.”

“I still will, eventually.”

“Eventually,” Natasha agreed.

Maria sighed again, exhausted. She wanted to sleep for a week. Natasha watched her for a few moments before gently tugging her closer. Maria didn’t even fight it. She let her head rest on Natasha’s shoulder once again and closed her eyes. She could use a nap. Natasha said nothing more but she hoped Maria could get some rest. She’d be here if either one of them needed anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos to those of you who have guessed this development, as I know some have.


	13. Chapter 13

When Maria woke up from her nap, four hours had passed and she’d missed dinner time. She needed a moment to remember what had happened and why she’d slept in the first place. She was still on the couch, resting against Natasha. She would have expected the redhead to wake her up for dinner but it didn’t look like she’d moved. Maria sat up straight and looked at her, surprised to find Natasha fast asleep. She hadn’t been the only one needing a nap. The movement roused Natasha from her sleep and she blinked her eyes open with a little yawn. She hadn’t meant to fall asleep. She stretched and glanced at Maria, smiling a bit at how ruffled her hair looked. She also had some imprints of Natasha’s shirt on her cheek.

“Slept okay?”

Maria nodded. Natasha had been quite comfortable, and comforting. She had really needed that. She felt a little calmer, although she was quite hungry now.

“Yes. You did too, by the looks of it.”

“Your couch is comfy,” Natasha smiled.

She looked at the clock and made a little sound in the back of her throat. They should eat something. It was bad enough when they didn’t find the time to eat at work. There was no reason to skip dinner here. Natasha got a wordless agreement from Maria when the woman’s stomach growled. She chuckled quietly and got up.

“How about some takeout? It’s great comfort food.”

“That sounds nice, actually. I don’t have any menus though.”

“That’s what the internet is for.”

Maria smiled but it fell again quickly when she glanced towards Nina’s room. She would need to figure out how to deal with this. Natasha followed her line of sight. She was concerned too but not overly worried. If anyone could manage a situation like this, it was Maria. Nina was going to be fine. She was sure of it.

“I’ll go find us somewhere to order from,” Natasha said.

Maria hummed briefly. She appreciated that; not just for the food but for the time she gave her. She got up and went to Nina’s room to check up on the girl. She was fairly certain she was still asleep or she would have come to wake them up. Maria just hoped she wasn’t too hungry and that she’d sleep through the night. Nina was indeed still asleep when Maria entered the room. Her shoulders sagged with the breath she let out. That was something. She crossed the distance to her bed and knelt down next to it to watch her. At least now Nina didn’t look upset or in pain. Maria absolutely hated knowing that her little girl had been suffering these past few days and she had been unable to do anything about it. She reached out to touch her cheek and move her hair out of her face. Nina didn’t even stir. She stayed with her for ten minutes before a quiet knock pulled her attention away again. Natasha was leaning against the door frame, her phone still in her hand. Maria hadn’t even heard her make the call. She had been lost in thought, watching Nina sleep. Maria stood up again and tucked Nina in properly before joining Natasha by the door.

“Food’ll be here in ten. I hope Chinese is okay?”

“Perfect, thank you.”

“She’s still asleep?” Natasha asked, nodding towards Nina.

“Yeah. Hopefully it’ll stay that way.”

She was expecting it to not last through the whole night though. She’d probably end up with Nina coming to her bed to sleep. That, or more tears. Maria sighed at the thought but stepped past Natasha, out of the room. She touched her wrist on the way out, tugging gently so she’d follow. Natasha did just that, closing the door again behind them. She didn’t shut it completely and left it slightly ajar, just in case. They went back to the living room and Maria dropped down on the couch. Despite her nap, she was still feeling drained. Natasha watched her for a few moments and then went to get them both a glass of water. She handed Maria hers when she came back and Maria thanked her. Natasha didn't like offering platitudes to the few friends she had but she knew that Maria could handle this. Whatever would happen. If it was true that Nina had powers, then Maria would find a way to help her with them. Natasha had faith.

"Hey? She'll be okay."

Maria looked up at her and she closed her eyes for a few seconds to just breathe. Natasha was once again right. This wasn't a life or death situation; not even a maybe anymore. Dr. Weaver would have said something if it was. Maria still imagined it could be dangerous if they couldn't relieve the pain more but hopefully that would go away soon. Maria wasn't going to accept anything else. She nodded once and opened her eyes again to smile at her.

"Yes. She has to be."

Natasha gave that a resolute nod. She would do whatever she could to make it happen as well. She cared far too much about the girl and Maria's happiness. The thought caught her a little off guard and she frowned into her glass of water, unsure what to do with that. Of course she cared. Maria was her friend after all and this current situation was unsettling. She wasn’t sure that was all there was to it though. Maria watched her out of the corner of her eyes, wondering what Natasha was thinking about. She didn't ask though, opting instead to remain silent and just drink her water while they waited. Ten minutes passed altogether far more quickly than they'd realized and Natasha's phone buzzed with an incoming text message. She had requested them not to ring the doorbell because of Nina and she was glad they'd honored the request and sent a text instead.

"Food's here," she said, getting up to go grab it.

Maria was about to stop her but Natasha gave her a look that clearly said not to bother. She was going to get the food from the entrance of the building and pay for it, and she wasn't going to take no for an answer. Maria chuckled softly. She wondered whether she was really that predictable or if it was just Natasha. Probably the latter. Natasha knew her quite well by now, all considering, and she'd always had a knack for reading people. Natasha left the apartment with her wallet and Maria thanked her quickly before she was out the door. She used the time it took for Natasha to get the food to do another quick check-up on Nina. The girl was still asleep. Nina needed all the rest she could get after those last few days. Maria went to the kitchen to grab some plates, putting them down on the dinner table just before Natasha returned with the food. She had two whole bags of takeout and Maria thought she'd ordered way too much.

"Plates?" Natasha mused.

Maria shrugged. She wasn't going to eat out of a box, especially not on her couch which was difficult enough to clean as it was. Natasha laughed softly at the face she made and brought the bags over to the dinner table. It didn't matter to her.

"Plates it is. Fanciest takeout I've ever had."

"You're welcome."

Natasha grinned and Maria couldn't quite help her answering smile. They sat down to eat, leaving the boxes opened in the middle of the table so they could grab whatever they wanted. Natasha had picked a few different things since she hadn't known what Maria liked. Plus, if there were leftovers, that could only be a good thing.

"I haven't had takeout in four years," Maria mused into her mouthful of fried rice.

"I kinda live off of this stuff," Natasha replied.

She wasn't a good cook after all and she was often too lazy to bother when it was just her. Maria shook her head, entirely unsurprised by that revelation. Natasha had always struck her as a takeout kind of person. Natasha was just glad to be able to distract Maria a little. It was good to see her smiling, considering the events of the past week. Between her mission going bust and Nina, this was a lot better to see. They ate in relative silence after that. Maria was thinking about her next course of action, and what kind of tests Dr. Weaver might want to do. They would have to happen soon but Nina still needed more rest, and some peace and quiet. Going to the doctor was stressful, even if it was never really anything bad. Natasha was thinking of ways to help as well. She wasn't sure she could, outside of just being there to support the two Hills but that didn't feel like enough. She wanted to do more. They finished eating a little while later. There was plenty of food left and Maria got up to put it away while Natasha grabbed their plates to clean up. Maria had stopped bothering to tell her that she didn’t need to.

“Would you mind staying the night?” Maria asked.

Natasha looked up from the dishes and smiled at her. She had been planning on sleeping on the couch anyways. She wanted to be here in case Maria needed help, or just a friend with her.

“I had already made plans that included your couch.”

“Thank you.”

“You should get some sleep. That nap can’t have been enough.”

“It wasn’t,” Maria admitted.

She hesitated but then moved past her to head to the bedroom. She needed to change and she really needed more sleep. Natasha watched her go before settling in on the couch. She wasn’t sure she’d be getting much sleep herself.

* * *

The next morning came far too quickly but by some miracle, Nina hadn't once woken up and had slept through the whole night instead. Natasha gathered she must have really needed that. Being in pain so much must have worn her out, not that she could blame her for that. Her own tolerance for pain was high but she understood wanting, and needing, to sleep for a day after something bad had happened. This was hardly comparable to her own pains, but Nina was still a small child with very little experience of pain in general. Feeling it constantly for days at a time would be exhausting for anyone. Not to mention the sedatives from the previous day. She imagined they had left the girl quite drowsy. Natasha hadn't slept much and had spent her night listening instead. Maria had been shuffling around a lot, no doubt unable to fall back into an easy sleep, whereas Nina hadn't stirred. Natasha decided to get up early and start some coffee. She didn't think Maria would be sleeping for much longer and she'd want to be more awake to deal with whatever mood Nina would be waking up in. She peeked into Nina's room while she waited for the coffee to be done and found the girl, as expected, fast asleep. The smell of coffee lured Maria out of bed a few minutes later and she joined Natasha in the kitchen. Natasha poured her a cup and left it on the counter top.

"Thank you."

"Mhmm," Natasha hummed. "Nina slept through the night."

"I'm glad. I take it you didn't?"

"No," she smiled.

Natasha didn't need much sleep anyway. Maria watched her for a few moments and then smiled briefly. She took the cup of coffee and just held it between her hands. It was far too hot to drink quite yet. She would need to call Dr. Weaver later, once Nina had gotten up and she'd gotten a vague idea of how the girl was feeling. Maybe after sleeping so much she'd at least feel better. Maybe they could even try to get her to talk about what was going on. Maria wasn't sure Nina would know but she just wanted her to talk to her. Natasha observed her and eventually moved a hand to her arm, resting her fingers against her forearm. That ripped Maria out of her thoughts and she made a small noise in question. Natasha had nothing to say though. She kept the touch up, hoping it would be reassuring. She still wasn't very good at these things. Maria smiled at her when she realized what she was trying to do. She really did appreciate Natasha's efforts. She knew this wasn’t easy for her. Maria was about to say something when the sound of small footsteps caught her attention. She turned her head to the source of it and smiled at Nina’s approaching form. Natasha turned her attention to the girl as well and removed her hand from Maria’s arm again.

“Mama?”

Maria put her coffee down, untouched, and met Nina halfway. She picked her up and kissed her cheek and Nina snuggled against her.

“Did you sleep well?”

Nina nodded against her and looked at Natasha when she noticed her. Natasha waved at her with a little smile and Nina waved back before hugging her mother again.

“That’s good. Are you feeling better?”

Nina shook her head, though Maria took the fact that the girl wasn’t crying yet as a small improvement. She could figure this out and find a way to help.

“Does your head hurt?”

“Lots.”

“I’m sorry, honey. We’ll make it go away, I promise.”

“Okay,” Nina mumbled against her.

Maria was going to do everything she could to keep that promise. She hugged the girl closer to her and then pulled back so they could look at each other. She kissed Nina’s nose until it made her giggle and the sound alone immediately made Maria feel a lot better. Nina smiled. Natasha was watching them from her spot in the kitchen but came to join them.

“How about breakfast?” She suggested.

“Yes, let’s eat,” Maria agreed.

Nina nodded and Maria let her down so she could go gather her things. Nina went to grab her bowl and spoon and then climbed into her chair, leaving Maria and Natasha to get the rest for her. Maria chuckled but did just that. Natasha brought the cups of coffee over and then found her and Maria what they needed for breakfast as well. Maria also made a quick stop to grab some paracetamol for Nina. They all sat down once they had everything and Nina poured herself some cereals and then poured in too much milk to drown them in. Luckily, Nina wasn’t usually too fussy about taking her meds and the promise of her head feeling better was enough to convince her to take it. They ended up not talking much, though both Maria and Natasha watched Nina closely. The girl was too busy making her cereals as soggy as she could manage before shoving spoonfuls of it into her mouth. It was quite a sight but at least she was eating. That was good. Breakfast only took about ten minutes and Maria convinced Nina to get dressed afterwards. Natasha took the chance to talk to Maria. She’d made some observations this morning, working under the assumption that Nina did indeed have empath powers.

“I noticed something,” she started.

“Hm? What is it?”

“You're doing better today. And Nina is doing better today.”

“You think it’s related?” Maria asked, considering.

She stopped doing the dishes with a small frown and thought about that for a moment. It was certainly true that she was feeling better; calmer. Natasha nodded in answer to her question. It made sense. Dr. Weaver had also been mentioning for Maria to stay calm in case her theory was correct.

“I think maybe it helps her. You’re her mother; you’ll always calm her down. But if she can really sense your panic like that, then you being calmer this morning can only be a good thing.”

“You’re probably right,” Maria agreed.

She just hoped she would remain this calm then. She still had no real idea what to do or how to proceed from here and she wasn’t ready to drag Nina back for more tests right away. They would probably have to stay in and see what they could do together with Natasha. Maria finished the dishes just in time for Nina to come back to them. She had her shirt on backwards and hadn’t managed to get her sock on all the way. Maria sighed but smiled and helped her fix both.

“Is there something you’d like to do today?”

Nina looked between Maria and Natasha, holding herself up while Maria put her sock on properly. She hadn’t been able to do much these last few days.

“Tasha?” She started, looking at Natasha with big, curious eyes.

Natasha smiled and encouraged her to continue. She already knew she wouldn’t say no to whatever the girl might ask. Between what was going on and Nina being so adorable, she never stood a chance in the first place.

“We can bread?”

Natasha didn’t know how to reply to that and searched Maria’s face for answers. Maria smiled. Nina tried again.

“Braid, honey,” Maria helpfully provided.

That made a lot more sense than bread in any case. Natasha nodded right away and then raised a questioning eyebrow at Maria before grinning at Nina. Maria was sure she was going to regret this. Natasha knelt down next to Nina so they could be face to face but left enough space for Maria to finish with the girl’s shirt.

“Your mum’s getting a braid too, yeah?”

Nina smiled a little and nodded, clearly into the idea. Normally, it was Maria who braided Nina’s hair. She and Natasha could do it together this time and Natasha thought it was only fair that Nina helped her braid Maria’s hair too. It was long enough for one. Maria rolled her eyes but smiled reassuringly at Nina when the girl looked up at her again.

“Everyone is getting braids,” Maria said.

Nina hugged her mother at that and Maria just watched her for a few moments. It was good to see Nina more like this again. She would do all she could to keep it that way. She gave Natasha a grateful smile and Natasha returned it. Maria picked Nina up and carried her over to the couch. Natasha joined the little girl there while Maria went to grab some combs and hair ties. They were going to need them. When she came back, she found Nina and Natasha chatting quietly.

“Two,” Nina said in reply to a question from Natasha that Maria hadn’t heard.

She put everything she’d taken down on the coffee table and then sat down next to Nina. She ran her fingers through Nina’s hair and the girl put her hand down on her leg.

“How many braids are we giving you today?”

“Twoooo,” Nina repeated.

Natasha chuckled at the tone of her voice. Maria caught on quickly. Natasha had already asked her that.

“Do you want Natasha to do it?”

Nina nodded and turned around fully so Natasha had access to her hair and she could watch her mother. Maria covered the little hand on her leg with her own and laced their fingers together. Natasha got to work in the meantime. She took a comb and grabbed two hair ties, and then got started on parting the girl’s hair for two pigtails. She was gentle and careful when she started braiding but kept the braids tight enough too.

“How is she doing so far?” Maria asked Nina a minute later, when the first braid was mostly done.

Natasha had needed to redo it once but she thought this second attempt was quite perfect. She did have some practice with Clint’s daughter, as well as her own hair. She didn’t braid it that often but it was nice every once in a while.

“Is good. Is pretty?”

“Very,” Maria smiled.

Natasha smiled at the interaction and continued braiding in silence. It took a couple more minutes to finish it up but she secured the second braid with her remaining hair tie and then put the comb down. She was satisfied with her work. Maria smiled. Nina looked very cute with those.

“I can see?” Nina asked.

Maria nodded right away and Nina climbed off the couch to run to the nearest mirror to check. A small noise followed that and when Nina returned, she was positively beaming. Maria was glad to see her headache mostly forgotten, or better yet gone.

“Thank you, Tasha.”

“Any time,” Natasha smiled. “Who’s next?”

“Mama.”

“Your mum it is,” Natasha grinned. “Come help me?”

Nina nodded and climbed back onto the couch and then into Natasha’s lap. Maria shuffled closer once the girl was settled. She handed Natasha a hair tie and Natasha thanked her.

“Where are we going to put the braid?”

Nina considered that for almost a minute before pointing to just above Maria’s ear. They could put a braid on the side there. Natasha agreed with the idea and let Nina help her gather the hair to start with. Natasha still ended up hesitating briefly before actually joining the efforts. She’d never touched Maria’s hair before. It felt strangely personal, like she was crossing some kind of boundary. But Maria didn’t voice any arguments and Nina tugged on her hand gently so she finally moved. She let Nina keep a strand and took the other two and then they got started on braiding Maria’s hair together. It was a bit of an effort to coordinate but Nina was very intent on getting it right. She messed up where to move the strand she was holding a couple of times but figured it out eventually, with some help from Natasha. They finished a few minutes later and Natasha tied it up before attempting to fix it in place. Once they’d both pulled away, Maria deemed it safe to turn around. Natasha thought the braid really suited her. Nina patted the braid gently and then touched her own, amused by the feeling of it.

“How’s it look?” Maria asked her.

“Pretty.”

Natasha smiled in agreement when Maria looked at her. Maria smiled too. Nina looked a little happier now. This was a good distraction.

“I’ll be right back and then we can do Natasha’s hair too.”

She got up and headed to the bathroom, taking the chance to check out their work while she was there. It didn’t look half bad. She liked it.

Nina was still sitting in Natasha’s lap and the girl took her hands to play with her fingers absently.

“Tasha?” She asked quietly.

“Yes?”

“Is mama upset at me?”

“No. No, of course not. What makes you think that?”

Natasha wondered where this came from. She let Nina play with her fingers more, not pushing for an immediate reply. It didn’t look like Nina really wanted to talk about it. She kept her eyes downcast and on their hands, even when she finally spoke again.

“Mama feels wrong when I hurt.”

“You mean the last few days?”

Nina nodded. Natasha stopped her fingers from moving through hers and covered her little hands in hers. Maybe Nina did know what was going on, at least to some degree. This wasn’t going to be easy to explain but Natasha didn’t want the small girl to think her mother was mad at her.

“She’s not upset with you. I promise. She was just really worried about you,” Natasha said.

Nina looked up at her with sad blue eyes and Natasha gave her a reassuring smile. She wasn’t ready to tell her that Maria had flat out panicked. She didn’t want Nina to feel guilty about something that wasn’t her fault. This would have to do.

“She doesn’t feel wrong anymore, does she?”

The girl shook her head to that. Natasha’s observation had probably been correct then. They would need to be careful not to overwhelm her.

“I upset mama?”

“Is that what you felt?”

Nina frowned a little and then made a face, thinking. She didn’t understand. Things were different and weird and her mother had felt different when she’d been upset.

“Ya?”

Natasha looked up when Maria exited the bathroom again. Nina turned around too but then looked back at Natasha questioningly. Maria joined them with visible confusion on her face. She had definitely missed something in the minute she’d been gone.

“Well, I can promise you one thing: you didn’t upset her,” Natasha told Nina.

Nina looked between Natasha and her mother quietly. Maria didn’t know what to say. She had no idea what was going on. Natasha encouraged Nina to move to Maria and the girl snuggled into Maria’s lap.

“I is sorry, mama.”

Maria hugged her closer and pressed a kiss to the top of her head. She still wasn’t sure what was happening but she was starting to get a vague idea.

“You have nothing to apologize for, honey.”

“She said you felt wrong the last few days,” Natasha said.

Maria looked up, then back at Nina. The girl had hugged herself as close to her as she could be, hiding her face in her shirt.

“Wrong?”

“That’s what she said. She thought maybe she upset you or that you were upset with her.”

“Oh, honey, I could never be upset with you,” Maria told Nina.

Nina peeked up at her at that, clearly still worried. Maria smiled at her and stroke her cheeks with both of her thumbs. They would need to have a long talk about this. She never wanted Nina to think she did anything wrong.

“I promise. I’m sorry I made you feel like that. I just don’t like seeing you upset. It’s not easy because I love you so much.”

“I love you, mama,” Nina mumbled.

“Is it better now?”

Nina nodded a couple of times. Maria pressed a kiss against her forehead and then wrapped her arms back around her. Hugs always made things better.

“Is your head feeling better too?”

“Ya.”

“Is there anything else you’re feeling?”

Nina fell quiet for a little while and snuggled in again. Maria and Natasha both watched her, waiting.

“Warm,” came eventually.

Maria wasn’t sure what to make of that. She was holding Nina quite closely so it could just be in reference to that. However, she didn’t think that was the case. Nina was smart and she wouldn’t have needed such a long pause to tell her she was feeling physically warm. She glanced at Natasha who gave a half shrug. She didn’t know either.

“Warm?”

Nina nodded and then wiggled free of Maria’s embrace to put her hand against her cheek. She reached for Natasha too, who had to shuffle a little closer in order for Nina to be able to touch her. Once both her little hands were touching cheeks, she repeated her statement.

“Warm is good,” Maria decided.

Nina agreed with a brief nod and then wrapped her arms around Maria’s neck. Maria kissed her cheek a few times. She was intent on making it clear to Nina that she wasn’t upset with her. They didn’t move for another five minutes, until Nina shuffled again.

“Tasha needs bread,” she said quietly.

“It’s braid, honey. Bread is food.”

“Bread,” Nina repeated stubbornly.

Maria shook her head but let her have it. She was making progress with other words. One thing at a time. Natasha chuckled softly at the face Nina was making. She was so cute. This was a better sight than the sad eyes she’d given her earlier. She turned around when Nina asked her to so the two Hills could work on her braid. Nina was thinking hard about where to put it. Natasha’s hair was a little longer than Maria’s but still too short to make just one big braid. Nina eventually decided that Natasha should have pigtails like her. That was going to be quite the undertaking. Nina very carefully helped her mother part Natasha’s hair down the middle, holding all of one side in her little hands. Maria parted the rest into three so she could braid. Nina watched closely. Maria made sure to include her by asking where a strand should be going. Nina got it right most of the time and it only took a couple of minutes to finish the first braid that way. Nina wanted to do the second one so Maria helped her organize. She nudged her in the right direction when the girl got confused about the order in which each strand needed to be moved. This one took a little longer but the rest of the sadness left Nina’s face again by the end of it. The braid came out looking just fine as well, if a little looser than what Maria had done.

“Are we done?”

“Ya.”

“Can I see?” Natasha asked.

Nina nodded and climbed off the couch before tugging at Natasha’s hand. Natasha smiled. She got up and let Nina lead the way to the nearest mirror. She was looking quite proud of herself. Natasha liked the end result. It was a little quirky but not bad at all.

“You is pretty, Tasha.”

“Thank you. You’re looking very pretty yourself. I like our matching pigtails.”

Nina smiled up at her and Natasha returned it. They went back to the couch and sat down, Nina squeezing herself between Maria and Natasha. They still had a whole day left and Maria was hoping to learn a little bit more from Nina. The more she could tell Dr. Weaver the better, especially if it meant less tests in the end. At this point it was quite obvious that her theory was correct. Nina was most definitely an empath.


End file.
